Arizona Highlights

Don't Forget

2009-09-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Further adventures for the Roberts Family will now be found at www.tonyaintexas.blogspot.com See ya'll there!

This time seven years ago...

2009-08-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

At exactly this time...11:04 p.m., 7 years ago, I had checked into Sacred Heart Women's Hospital in Pensacola, Florida and was receiving my first dose of Cervadil to begin the induction of our sweet baby girl, Clara. She was FOUR, count them, one, two three, FOUR days late (which is absolutely NO laughing matter when one is pregnant and overdue in AUGUST in FLORIDA!!!). I was miserable and so past ready to have her. Yet, Clara seemed to have missed the memo that her due date was even anywhere close at hand! I had not dilated....AT ALL. Not even effaced, like ANY. And yes...Clara was my THIRD baby. No...it seemed, 4 days past my due date, as though Clara might never appear. And so the Cervadil was placed and we settled in to wait for 4 hours to see if it would help ripen things up at all so that we might begin the process of induction. 4 hours later, the nurse checked and the announcement was made that not only had things softened up, I had dilated to 4 centimeters! Well Hallelujah! The show was finally getting on the road! I was offered an epidural, which I gladly accepted, even though the contractions I was feeling were really quite bearable and fine. Within that next hour the anesthesiologist was called and the epidural was administered and we again settled in for the wait. I figured they could just wake me up when it was time to push. I was snuggling down for my beauty sleep! About 10 minutes after getting my epidural, my water broke and we sent for the nurse...just to be sure. She confirmed the water breaking and said it all looked good and mentioned that I was now at 7 centimeters. But not to get too riled up...I still had a long ways to go. We were basically told to pipe down and go back to sleep. So after chatting for a few minutes Chris and I did settle down to be quiet and go to sleep. Only...about 5 minutes later I had this strong sense of pressure...which I denied. But only for a few moments. Chris AGAIN summoned the nurse, who at 4 something a.m. was really in no mood to play with the over anxious parents that we were obviously being. She was in the process of scolding us as she pulled back the blankets to check my progress once again...not 10 minutes since the last check...only to be brought up short by the appearance of a tiny head trying to make it's appearance in this world! My knees were quickly slammed shut and the nurse proceeded to stand there, in exactly that position for the next 10 minutes while they brought in the whole delivery setup and a doctor was snagged from someone else's delivery (not MY doctor I should add). When this random doc was in place at the foot of the bed I was told that I COULD give one little push if I liked...but before I could do so, Clara Elisabeth Roberts slipped into this world...in a hurry...unwilling to wait for my assistance in the whole delivery process. She had a head full of red hair and weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds, 0.3 ounces. She was beautiful beyond words. Chris and I found ourselves with this beautiful little angel of a girl in our arms and we were just in awe of the blessing that had been bestowed upon us. She was so very perfect. Every tiny finger accounted for. And every tiny toe. Her was so long and girly...she was simply exquisite. And so ...it is with fond memories and great excitement that I reflect on the baby girl she was and the little princess she is today...my baby girl turns seven in 33 minutes! Happy Birthday Clarabelle!

Transitioning

2009-08-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

Well...it's a time of transitioning for sure. From here to there, from west to not so west, from relaxed and laid back flip flop land to the land of southern roots and hospitality. Yes...lot's of transitions for sure. And with that comes the transitioning of the blog! You will be able to follow the Roberts family through all of their new adventures in Texas by heading on over to www.tonyaintexas.blogspot.com. And THAT'S where you will find us and all of our shenanigans happening! Lone Star State...here we come!

The Clock is Ticking

2009-08-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

We are counting down the days now for departure from Tucson. I spent the week calling all of our various utilities and having things scheduled to transfer out of our name. The kids were withdrawn from school (before everyone went back) and lots of phone calls were made on the Texas end. The packers are set to come a week from tomorrow and they will load the truck in 10 days! We will begin our drive that same night. Of course, there is SO much to be done and I find this week the hardest of them all. Most of my phone calls for shutting things off have already been made. So there is less to do move-wise. No...this is the week of "lasts". Last playdates. And last workouts with friends. Last lunches and last Starbucks chats. Last bodycombat classes (Grrrr I'm going to miss those the most!) and last chances to drink in the gorgeous views of my mountains all around me. I took my last pictures for clients this week. The "lasts" are the hardest. You can live in denial up to a certain point about life. Pretend you aren't moving...or that you aren't moving for a really long time. But when it gets down to those last few days, it gets tough! This week we will be celebrating Clara's 7th birthday and with that will come a party of a whole gaggle of little girls! And one sweet last visit amongst girlfriends. My sister is coming down from Phoenix to spend a few days with us. One last visit before we are WAY more than a quick hour and a half drive away. I have found that if I focus on the lasts I quickly get weepy and overwhelmed. So I am TOTALLY living in denial right now. Treating everyone as though I will just as surely see them next week and the next week and the week after that. That works better. As excited as I am about moving to Texas...and I AM excited...I also know that my 4 1/2 years here in the desert have been the happiest years of my entire life I think. We have had the BEST friends and great schools and the most amazing adventures in travel ever! It has been too lovely for words. I don't know of any place anywhere with nicer people than those I've met here in the desert. Fantastic friends, and doctors and dentists. I love my bank and the bankers in it. I ADORE my work out buddy (where in the HECK am I going to find someone who works out like I do and pushes me to work out the things I conveniently skip when she's not around?!) and I adore the majestic mountains here. More than once I've wondered why in the heck we are leaving this stunningly gorgeous place. But then I think of the amazing opportunity that this is for Chris. I mean...amazing. And he's already so much happier there doing what it is that he does. And then I think of green grass and tall shady trees. And I think of how neat a place Dallas is (according to practically EVERY person I've talked to). And I think of the AMAZING and awesome and gorgeous and HUGE house I'm heading to...and I just get all excited all over again. It's an emotional yo-yo for sure! It helps that the kids are all OH so excited. Doubly excited I think because they have not seen the house and have spent the last 2 weeks trying to imagine what it might look like and be like. They are excited about new schools and new friends. Clara is CRAZY excited about being able to ride the school bus this year. Lots to anticipate and look forward to on their end! And so...the countdown continues. A few more days. A few more bodycombat classes. A few more lunches and coffees and gatherings with friends. And then we are off! Yes. The clock is definitely ticking!

Working out Life

2009-07-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially announced and out in the world now. The Roberts family is moving to Texas! We are so excited and are embracing the move with open arms. There are SO many details and things that need to be worked out. As the Dallas realtor told me the other day, when one eats an elephant...one does it one bite at a time! And that's how we are getting it all done...one thing at a time! Our house is up for sale and we are hoping it won't take too too long to sell. As soon as that elephant is out of the way, we can choose a new one in Dallas and start working out all of the logistics of moving. In the meantime, the kids and I are chilling at the beach this summer. And can I just say...THIS is the life. I slip out each morning about 7:30 a.m. because that's when I wake up, and I hit the beach for a 5 1/2 mile walk in the sand. It's a GREAT workout. Then I come home, brew up some coffee and a simple breakfast of oatmeal or toast and eggs and we decide what we will do with the day. The decision process usually goes something like..."should we go to the beach, and then the pool? Or the pool and then the beach?" There are tons and tons of kids here and we seem to find friends wherever we are. We generally spend two to three hours on the beach, then grab some sandwiches for lunch. We might read for an hour or so and chill, then hit the pool for an afternoon swim. Then everyone grabs hot showers and we grill up something yummy for dinner. Then there is always lots of bike and scoooter riding with the hundred other kids that are here in the park. Then, around 10 p.m. each night they all beg to bed since they are so tired. And we sleep like the dead...only to wake up and do it all over again. Life is GOOD on the beach. I have gotten more reading done in the past 10 days than I have in probably a whole year. It's been divine. Lots of playing and relaxing and relaxing and playing. And it's SO much easier having the kids here than at home. The house is staying nice and clean for the realtors to show it...I LOVE that little detail. That in and of itself is a just a huge relief and is saving me tons and tons of stress. I AM missing my gym time...not that I'm not getting exercise. But I do miss the friends there and the push I get from them to go that extra mile. And I miss having my hubby around all week. He's there working in Tucson while I frolic on the beach. Life hardly seems fair that way. I would feel really REALLY guilty about it if our house were not on the market. That is the one solace of thought that I have. It is much better for us to be here as far as keeping the house neat and clean!!!

Our Max will turn 13 tomorrow. Our first teenager! WOW!!! Where did 13 years go? It's so hard to believe we've had him for that long! Ben will be hot on his heels. I'm kind of glad we have a few years break before Clara hits her teenage years...although she often times acts like a bratty teen now. We did most of our birthday celebrating this weekend for our Max. While Chris was here we took Max to see the new Transformers movie and then out for pizza...his favorite (wonder where he gets that?!). Then this morning we took him out to breakfast and had the most delicious cinnamon rolls ever!!! I got him the video game he has been hot after for a couple of months. And I look forward to a nice, quiet, peaceful day of relaxing tomorrow with my new teenager!

I guess that's all the real update for now. Just taking in the sand and the surf and enjoying this fantastic life. What blessings have been bestowed on our family. God has been so amazingly generous with us. Life is good.

Figuring Out Life

2009-07-06T21:30:00.001-07:00

Okay...the same situation that had the biggest smile on my face EVER last Tuesday night has my tummy rather upset and unsettled tonight. SO much to be doing...and yet...none of it can be done. So many details to wade through...and yet not one teensy step can be taken. Sigh....it's enough to make a girl crazy! I am SO not a woman of patience. I want to be. i wish that I was. Truly I do. But when God was handing out patience....I think I must have been in the boob line...again! Because Lord knows I've got PLENTY of those! But very little or no patience. Sigh. It makes life quite difficult at times like this. Ten million thoughts swirling through my brain are challenging my sleep patterns right now. And I'm not so good without sleep! Chris is in Tucson now....he had to go back to work. And I am here on the beach in San Diego with the kids enjoying a bit of paradise. And it truly is dreamy and wonderful. There is honestly not ONE thing I have to be doing right now. The greatest challenge in my life right now will be rounding up some quarters so that I can do some laundry later this week....and that's about it! Quite a change from the life routine I am accustomed to running! I have to say that it is a real relief to have stepped away from the photography business for a while. And a huge relief to have stepped away from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and all of my duties as a coordinator...THAT is a huge relief. And I am so enjoying watching my children play day in and day out in the sun and sand all day. They fight so much less when they are away from the t.v.s and video games. They are borderline delightful at times like this! And I needed to see them be delightful. After this school year with Max...it's been a tough one for sure....it's nice to be delighted when watching them. And Ben....what a sweetheart he can be. So sweet with his sister and so helpful here...he's a dream kid. And Max is just easier to take all around right now. He's fun and witty and keeps me entertained. Clara chats at me almost constantly....some things never change! But she's pretty busy here and I'm not her sole source of entertainment most of the time...and that's so nice. I need to relax and enjoy my time here in paradise for sure. I am quite certain that I will not be here again...at least no time soon! Still...it's hard to just relax and stop the thoughts that are swimming so crazily through my head right now. On the one hand I want to freeze time and my life as I know it exactly the way it is. On the other..I am very frustrated that I cannot plunge headlong into my new life and start making decisions and committments....It's making me crazy. The division. As I sit here tonight I am so thankful for my very level headed hubby who is taking this all in stride. Who is so patiently putting up with his neurotic wife who wants all the answers YESTERDAY. Did I mention that I am not overly gifted in the patience department?! Sigh***** Life may not be moving along exactly as I thought or planned...but it's my life...and I'm thankful for it and for the opportunities that have come our way. Lord, please grant me the patience now to DEAL with it!!!! And like...NOW! Amen.

Smiles

2009-06-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I simply have to smile at what life deals me. What might have left me shaking in my boots a few years back leaves me grinning from ear to ear today! I feel like God has really smiled on me and my family SO amazingly here lately and tonight I have the biggest smile on my face and much excitement bubbling up in my heart! SO much that I am finding it difficult to wind down and go to sleep! And that's too bad...because my crew leaves out early tomorrow morning for San Diego! A MONTH on the beach! That's right! How exciting is THAT???!!!! The camper is parked out front and is MOSTLY loaded. There are a few small things yet to go...but for the most part, clothes are all loaded and we are pretty much ready! I can't wait to lie on the beach and smell the salty air. I am so looking forward to my long 4 mile morning walks on the beach...and just being away in Paradise with my kiddos! Ahhhhh....sometimes life is just too good!

Birds and Blooms

2009-06-16T22:52:00.000-07:00

Well, one bloom! But it is truly gorgeous. Another of God's miracles in this crazy, thorny desert. I noticed our bloom getting ready to open tonight and followed it all the way through the process! SO amazing how these open with the sunset and are there in all their stunning glory at NIGHT where noone really sees or enjoys them. Little secrets of the night....perched atop their thorny thrones. I always count it a special blessing and treat to catch this cactus in action! It's a one night and one night only appearance. Here's the bloom...and a busy birdie in action!

Stalking Hummingbirds

2009-06-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

So I've been stalking them. But they are terribly quick and flighty little creatures! And any little movement at all sends them zipping into outer space at crazy fast speeds. But still...I managed to capture a couple! Here are this weeks photo captives!

Clara and her Art

2009-06-11T21:08:00.001-07:00

Clara did an art camp this week and I was amazed at the projects she brought home to us today! Take a look at these!

Clara and her sun.

A mosaic mirror.

A sculpture of our dog, Oscar.

A Jackson Pollack style painting.

a t-shirt of her design...

and my most favorite art piece EVER...her feet cast in her ballet shoes. Priceless!

A Great Day All Around

2009-06-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

What a great day today was! Our family just had a great day all the way around. We all headed off to church this morning...and in true "Roberts family in Tucson" style, we bounced over to a different one today. We've been to this one before...though not for a couple of years now. I have NO idea what made me want to go...but something's been nagging at me all week and when I mentioned it to Chris he was great with it...and we went. And we were very pleasantly surprised. It didn't feel like a rock concert for once...and it didn't seem to be all about "the show" that it used to be. The message was quite good...the pastor didn't cry. And we really enjoyed the quieter scaled back elements of the worship music. Clara had a BLAST at the children's worship service and was begging to go back before we really got her out of the door! I have to admit that when I peeked into the room it DID look like they were all having the time of their lives. Quite the party was going on in there...disco balls and line dancing to Jesus...big fun going on for sure! I left there feeling refreshed and filled up and just plain old happy! There was one funny moment as we were leaving there...Max commented on how they had tried to make the children's worship room into a teen hangout and that's why it failed. We told him it WASN'T a teen hangout...that it was simply for the elementary school kids and that the teens were too old and weren't even allowed to go. Then Benjamin piped in and says "Yeah, Max. If it was a teen hangout there would be lots of beer around." And I'm thinking WHAT????!!! Good grief! Then I looked at him and thought WHO is your mother?! Max's teenage years have been tough enough and technically, he's not even a full fledged teenager for another month! I fear I may REALLY have my hands full with Ben's teen years! Especially if he's expecting to be surrounded by beer at church! Geez! Talk about a wild ride with these kids of ours!

After church, Chris and I grabbed a quick workout. Lifted some weights and then Chris took off to run sprints outside while I walked hills on my treadmill. I decided that walking today after yesterday's 10 mile run might be a really good idea. It was still a great workout. Nothing like a big hill at a major fast clip to get the old heart rate up and set the buns on fire!

After workout we had yummy lunches, showers and then headed out the door to Costco. I picked up several beach towels for our upcoming San Diego month long get away! Can't wait for that departure day to get here! A whole month of chilling on the beach, watching the waves crash on shore, early morning walks on the beach, watching my kiddos jump the waves and perfect their "booger boarding" (as Clara would call it) skills! Talk about Paradise! After Costco we were off to Fry's where we FINALLY did a much needed grocery run. I can't even remember the last time we did a super big THOROUGH restocking run. But we had to this time because we were pretty much out of EVERYTHING!

After groceries, we all loaded up and headed over to grandma's house for a yummy dinner of Prime Rib and salads and grilled veggie kabobs. Delicious!!! The kids were all kinds of fired up and had fun running around outside, then trying to beat their grandma at go fish and Old Maid. We headed on home after that and quickly tucked everyone under 20 years of age into bed and Chris and I are heading there right behind them. It's been a long day and a busy one...but a fantastic one.

Tomorrow holds it's own kind of excitement. Clara is off to art camp pretty much all day. I'll be home waiting for my new camera lens that I finally treated myself to. I can't wait to hold it in my hands and start playing with it! I see some park time in my very near future for sure! Then the rest of this week holds a newborn set of twins photo session and another big family session. Then that's officially IT for the rest of the summer! No more! Done! Woo hoo! I know I've said that now several times...but this really IS it!

And so...that was our day...and my upcoming week...in a nutshell! What a blessing we had today! Thanks be to God for that!

Home Again

2009-05-31T20:40:00.001-07:00

I am finally back home from Ames, Iowa. WHAT a wild whirlwind of a trip! Ben's team was competing in the Odyssey of the Mind World Finals in Ames, Iowa at Iowa State University. I was really dreading going to tell you the truth. I mean...seriously...IOWA?! WHO in their right mind would want to go to Iowa?! The corn fields were certainly present. I mean...LOTS and lots of corn fields! But I have to say that I was genuinely surprised by everything else! Iowa was quite pretty. VERY very green. And the campus was just beautiful! I was dreading staying in the dorms after Michigan two years ago...but I was pleasantly surprised by the dorms. They were clean and reasonably nice. They reminded me a LOT of my dorm days at Florida State. The only bummer was that I had to go down one floor to use the bathroom. The only women's restroom was on the floor below us...but it wasn't a big deal really. The food was SO much better at this campus, the boys were two years older and we knew much better what to expect. All in all it was an awesome trip! Our boys totally rocked it also, placing 18th in the World Finals out of 52 teams. We were so proud of them! Here are some of the fun times in pictures!

Closing Ceremonies

Slope Sliding on their cardboard props...only kids from Arizona would love sliding down a grassy hill this much!

Sparklers in their p.j.'s

Corn field

At their competition performance with the team

Ben with his Hong Kong buddy after his buddy presented him with a t-shirt from their team!

2009 World Finalist TEam for Arizona Teach Yer Creature Division 1

Hong Kong Buddy Team with Ben's Team

Meeting the Hong Kong Buddy team for the first time

Ben makes his very first pin trade with a Hong Kong student...the first of MANY rounds of wheeling and dealing over pins!

What a fantastic and fun trip! My second trip to World Finals. Each year gets a little better!!!

Princess Smackdown!

2009-05-23T20:35:00.001-07:00

Notice Clara's pretty new smile? That's the result of a little princess playdate smackdown action! She had a run in with a playmate...LITERALLY! Her mouth met her friend's little forehead and when the dust settled, Clara came up holding her first front tooth! It's funny, because it would never have surprised me for a minute if one of my boys had lost a tooth that way! But I never imagined my Clarabelle would be head banging it! There was MUCH panic and drama. Her, because she rather violently and surprisingly had her tooth knocked out...me because I was so worried about her bleeding on my friend's pretty white carpet. Her little friend because it's no fun to run into someone's teeth! There was mass chaos for a few minutes. But once everyone calmed down just a bit, all was well. And Clara was ecstatic to be holding her pearly white tooth in the ziploc baggy and was getting more excited by the minute over a visit from the tooth fairy! On the way out, Clara was actually thanking her little friend for knocking her tooth out! From the smackdown we headed off to the grocery store to pick up some goodies for our small group meeting. Then we ran by home for just a few minutes to wait for Daddy to come and join us. In that few minutes we were home Clara kept saying how much her other front tooth was bothering her. When I checked it, it was REALLY loose. Both teeth were wiggly before this day...I should mention that. Not THAT wiggly...like they would not have fallen out that day kind of wiggly. But they were obviously wiggly. Well, I was worried that the remaining tooth was so loose that she might swallow it. So after debating a few minutes, Clara bravely said "Just pull it!" And so I barely touched it and it too fell out. Clara was over the moon at that point knowing that it would be double haul from the tooth fairy. She was crazy excited and ready to go to bed! And that's how my baby girl got her new smile! It's so classically six! She looks so sweet. I imagine I will grow quite tired of it and miss her pretty teeth. I seem to remember it taking FOREVER for Ben's to come back in when he lost his. I even had the dentist x-ray them to make sure he actually had teeth there TO come in (and he did, by the way). But I do remember him missing his front teeth for an extraordinarily long time! We'll see how long Miss Clara is toothless! But long or short...today she is adorable!

Wrapping up....

2009-05-21T22:36:00.001-07:00

Today we wrapped up the school year. As of 3:15 this afternoon school was OUT and the children are now all home for the summer. Hmmm. I tried all day to get excited about having them around day in and day out. To look forward to sleepy, lazier mornings without the rush and running of trying to get everyone ready for school. I tried to get excited about not having to pack lunches for 10 weeks, about not having to make a last minute, bedtime run to the grocery for juice boxes or lunch meat. I tried to get excited about not having to monitor homework and projects. It almost worked. Then they all got home. And within minutes it was like World War 3 in this house. Everyone fussing and fighting and tattling. I was none too happy about it and by 5:30 this afternoon they were exactly ONE more warning away from baths and a CRAZY early bedtime. Yes...a certain cloud of dread has completely cleared out any and all hope of "excitement" over having them all home for the summer.

In addition to wrapping up school, I made GREAT leaps and bounds as far as getting orders processed and fulfilled business wise. I am TWO order placements and ONE photo session away from DONE!!! For the summer anyway. And am totally excited about that break a coming!

And finally....the BIGGEST thing I am hoping to wrap up are my allergies. This has been, hands down, the WORST season ever for my allergies. I don't even begin to know what to make of them at this point. It has been a solid MONTh of dripping noses...alternating between totally stopped up and clogged noses. Grrrr. I haven't slept through the night in a month now because I keep waking up unable to breathe! And the beathing challenges are so much more significant at night for me. Don't seem to be too bad a challenge in the light of day...but at night...MISERY!!! Tonight I headed to Walgreens for some new arsenal...something I HAVEN'T tried yet. And I have tried a LOT!!!! I am hoping beyond hope that this new stuff will be instrumental in kicking this allergy situation to the curb. If not...it's gonna be pretty miserable getting on that airplane next week! They are pretty fired up and angry tonight...the allergies. I had lunch outside today on the patio at Pei Wei with a friend. It was a delightful lunch and I hoped it would be okay because it was raining and knocking all that yucky pollen down. Then I stood out in the yard for a bit and chatted with our neighbors. And now tonight as I sit here, I am wheezing again and I cough every time I try to breathe in a breath. I am pretty sure that tonight is NOT going to be the night I sleep through. An hour after taking the meds, I am not breathing clearly through my nose. And the asthmatic wheeze is lovely. We are definitely NOT talking a restful situation here tonight. Oh well. I am SO hopeful that the rains we had today will go a ways in helping to put an end to the allergy train. Before I become a total train wreck myself. Yes...it's definitely time to wrap this up!

GRRRRR....Wrapping up the School Year

2009-05-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

The school year ends in two short days. I wish I could say I was happy and relaxed about it...but I'm not. I'm tired and frustrated and disappointed beyond belief in my oldest chid. Seventh grade has been such an amazingly difficult year for us. Struggles that I SO did not see coming. Sixth grade was tough enough in some ways...a real year of adjustment...jumping from the elementary level work up to the higher expectations and heavier workload of middle school. But seventh grade has been infinitely worse. While Max has had more and better friends and has known what to expect...he has performed SOOOO poorly. And not really grade wise. Those assignments he has done and TURNED IN he has excelled at. But for some reason, remembering to complete them and SUBMIT them for grading has just been beyond his abilities this year and I do NOT understand why. I have worked with teachers to the point of being half crazy. I have tried everything in my power that I know to do to get him to a point where he can be successful. And it's like he just refuses to do it. Regardless of the punishments handed out to him or the interventions we tried...he still manages to drop the ball. The final disappointment rolled in this evening. I looked up Max's grades a couple of days ago and noticed he was missing a couple of assignments. I pointed it out to him and he said he had them (he always seems to have them, done in his backpack) and he turned them in. Or so we thought. When I got the notice that final grades had been updated, I quickly logged on to check and found two zeroes in place of where I expected to see some credit. So I asked again if he had turned in the assignments...and he assured me that yes...he had. So I e-mailed his teacher. He said that what Max turned in was MONTHS old...due forever ago...and what he is missing basically comprises 18 assignments. EIGHTEEN!!!!!!! HOW do you miss turning in 18 assignments?! And now there is a C- going on to his high school transcript. A high school he is still over a year away from ever setting foot into. And I guess I'm just so tired of this battle. Of losing over and over again...with such high stakes. He's so very smart. It would be different if God had shorted him a few points on the IQ scale. But he didn't. Max has SO much more than most all the other kids. He could do so much in this life...if he set his mind to it. And now...even if he totally does an about face and turns it around...it's there....on his permanent high school record. C- in math. A subject he truly excels at. Part of it is my fault. I went against my better judgement. I had the chance to pull him from the class early in the year. But his teacher told me he was fully capable of doing the work and that he just had to get used to it and that if he would show the work he would do fine. That might have all been true. But the one thing that that teacher failed to factor was Max's maturity level. And no matter what...that can't be changed by showing work. My gut told me that the responsibility of this class was too much for him to handle. But I went with teacher recommendations. NEVER AGAIN. No matter what...I will go with my gut as far as that child is concerned from here on out. There are not many years left that I have any say at all in what he does, but as long as I have a say...I WILL say what I think and WILL do whatever I deem necessary. I guess this has been a lesson for both of us. I'm SO beyond disappointed tonight as I sit here. There are 10 million thoughts rattling around in my brain. Not all of them dealing with Maxwell. But plenty of them. I would be lying if I said there are no tears running down my face at the sheer disappointment of it all. Total disappointment that my child failed to see the importance of his task...disappointment that a teacher failed to look at the WHOLE child and only his academic side. And disappointment in myself as his mother...because my gut feeling was that he could not pull this together and I still allowed him to stay there in the class...and he didn't pull it together. And so this school year ends on a profoundly disappointing note for me. On so many levels I can't even begin to articulate them.

And now we face the summer together. I wish I could say I was looking forward to having them all close to me for these short weeks...but I am NOT. No. Not even a little bit. Pass judgement if you like...I'm fine with that. I love my children dearly...but the thought of spending day in and day out with them right now....at their teen and preteen phases.....ooooh. No. I dont want to. Hence...a big part of why they are all heading off to camp at some point this summer. A reprieve for both me and for them. This summer starts off with them being grounded from the start. Why? Because there has to be some sort of repercussions for letting your grades slip into the toilet for one. And it's infinitely easier to simply ground all instead of just one. So I now I have a nice set of XBox controls in my possession on top of the fridge. NO computer gets brought to life without express permission and NO tv comes on either in this house. I'm done with any sort of electronic interference in our lives. Goodness knows Max has enough trouble focusing on the basics without any added distractions....and he is SO easily distractable. No...my children will be rediscovering good old fashioned entertainment alternatives...like bike riding and legos...card games and board games. Swimming and arts and crafts. And reading. I can't undo this school year. I can't change it. But I can set in motion some changes in these children of mine. They can learn to be resourceful. And responsible. And creative and cooperative. They can learn to be helpful and respectful. And thorough. Yes. This will not be a summer without lessons. My children still have plenty to learn. We shall see what lies ahead in the next 12 weeks. Pray for the Roberts children and their mother. Goodness knows. They all need it desperately.

The Pace of Life

2009-05-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

HOW did my life get to be SO busy?! And no matter how I try to UNbusy it...it just gets busier and busier. Maybe it's just the spring? So many activities drawing to their grand finales? May holds way too many things for my poor calendar to juggle! Ben's Odyssey team is preparing to go to World Finals on May 27th in Ames, Iowa. There are still two fund raisers I have to be a part of. One is a student store and the other is Spring Fling. Plus the extra practices to juggloe as their big competition day approaches.I have two full days of shooting pictures for the Ballet Studio. Then a frantic period of processing to get those done and delivered in a matter of days. Then there's the big ballet recital. With the fast approaching event just around the corner, it seems like there are a GAZILLION extra dance practices. That's especially fun since Clara is in THREE classes. Her recital this year will involve 4 different costumes and I hear a rumor that her performances will span not just one, but BOTH acts of the show. May 16th is gonna be a LONG day for sure!!! In addition, I have a calendar that is crazy full of regular picture appointments. I do not know WHERE they are coming from. Every time I think I might be looking at a photography free week, no sooner do I blink and my calendar is full of green appointments (my calendar is color coded and green is the color assigned to photo work). It also happens to be dentist appointment time for all the kids and myself. Fun stuff!

Before I can take off for the land of corn with Benjamin, I have to have Clarabelle fully packed for camp...her first sleep away, gone from home alone, camp! It's really a mini camp. She leaves on the 31st and comes back on June 3rd. Chris gets the fun of taking and dropping her off. I fly back from Iowa that night, then Chris flies out the very next morning for his own conference. We will be like two ships passing in the night! I wish I could say that it unusual for us...but alas...we are no strangers to hectic travel schedules.

What else is going on? School is wrapping up. There are lots of final projects as we head into these last three weeks. I'm trying not to fret about the grades I see. Max assures me he "has it under control". Hmmmm. We'll see about that. It's gonna suck if he has to stay behind and do summer school while the rest of us are playing on the beaches of San Diego!

Speaking of San Diego...I'm getting ready to shut business down for the summer. This month is packed and is nearly scheduled out. I have just about every bit of free time I have committed somewhere for this month. I need June for myself, to tie up loose ends and get the kids ready to go back to school. June has it's own set of busyness. Clara is going to art camp, and to Vacation Bible School too. Both boys are going away to camp for a full week (no mini camp for them!). They don't get home until the last 3 days of June. We are supposed to be in San Diego for the whole month of July. Then will only be home a week or so before school starts back up again. And so...it only makes sense to shut it down for just a bit so I can get all caught up on some stuff! I'll get the newborns in, if they get here before July 1! But after that...it's all bets off! I am definitely ready for a break. Sometimes I think this business of mine is growing a little faster than I can keep a handle on! I am looking forward to a few weeks with NO photo appointments on my calendar...NO orders to process....NOTHING but play time on my calendar! Woo hoo!

Life is just crazy around here. I catch myself fantasizing about having a whole day with NOTHING to do. Sounds crazy, but true! I guess that's just the speed of life right about now. Honestly...if I wasn't running around half crazy, I wouldn't recognize this life as my own! Wouldn't even know what to do. LIke I said...a day with nothing to do is PURE FANTASY right now. But hey...a girl can dream, right?!

Visiting with the Sisters amongst the Canyons

2009-04-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a total BLAST!!!! Busy as all get out. But such fun! It all started a week ago today when we went to Phoenix with Max and Ben to see them compete in the Odyssey of the Mind State Finals. Both of their teams had advanced to the next level of competition in Regionals last month. It was such fun to see all the teams do their skits and show off their problem solving skills. Best of all was when they announced that our Ben's team took FIRST PLACE in State Finals and is now heading off to World Competition! So we are heading to Ames, Iowa next month to compete with the finest of the fine and try to dazzle...well...the world!!! Hee hee!

Ben with the team trophy! First Place! Woo Hoo!!!!

The second the awards ceremony drew to a close we hit the road running and racing back to Tucson. We sailed in right about 7:35 p.m. and I was right back out the door again 10 minutes later to the airport to pick up my baby sister, Nikki, and her family! Once I gathered her and her dh and two cutie pie little boys, we visited and caught up and collapsed...exhausted! The next morning, bright and early, my older sister Donna rolled in and our sister trio was complete! We were off and running! We spent most of Sunday out at the Desert Museum checking out all of the native plant and animal life. Nikki's dh, Joe has never been to the desert, nor had her boys...so it was all new to them! We had such a fun time. No real amazing pictures from the museum that day. But here are a couple....
Clara and my sister Donna
My sister's two boys...Drew and Nate
Bird soaring.

After a full day at the Desert Museum, we got ourselves home, ordered pizza for the kiddos and were relieved of duty by Chris' mom who was sweet enough to come watch all the wee ones while the sisters and the hubbys headed off for a sunset horseback ride! Giddyup! It was so much fun riding through the desert beauty and watching the sun get lower and lower and redder and redder and the mountains take on that warm, beautiful evening glow! None of us are horseback riders...Nikki has always loved horses...but the rest of us...not so much. Horses are really big, for one. And strong. And heavy. I don't imagine it would take much for one to decide he just didn't WANT someone on his back and dispose of the situation! I've always had a healthy fear and respect for them. I had a nice, gentle horse for my ride. As did Nikki and Joe. Chris and Donna however had little stubborn spitfires. Chris rode a horse named Bart. He did okay for the most part. He seemed to think the desert trail was one long buffet and kept wanting to stop to graze and snack. Donna's horse, named Max, kept biting Bart in the butt. I mean BITING! That was fine to a point...but toward the end of the ride, Max bit Bart and Bart whipped his head around as if to say "If you bite me in the butt ONE MORE TIME....". Talk about a moment!!!! Shortly after that, Chris showed us his lone ranger/rhinestone cowboy moves as his Bart got sassy at one point and reared up on his hind legs. For a moment we all thought we'd be pulling cactus out of Chris's backside from being tossed into the cholla cactus! But he held on and recovered control of the beast. He didn't seem too fazed at all by the toss attempt...but I was pretty much done with the ride by that point. I had jokingly told the guy at the stables that Donna needed a really nice, slow, barely make it back to the stables kind of horse...and it seemed she had gotten exactly that. Her Max was in NO hurry to get down that trail. Other than the butt biting, he was pretty okay. And I truly was beginning to think he would barely make it home again. But then...as we came in sight of the stables, Max took off! Donna was hanging on for dear life. Shouting WHOA! WHOA!!!! But Max was suddenly deaf and not hearing a word she was saying. It turns out that Max becomes a bit impatient at the end and as soon as he knows he's home he heads for the front of the line to be put away and fed! I don't think Donna found it to be too funny...but for a couple of seconds there...I was laughing so hard I thought I'd pee in my pants! I didn't think I could take pictures and hang on to a horse...so....no pictures of this fun event!

The next morning the sisters and company were off to Sabino Canyon. We rode the tram all the way to the top of the canyon. It was fun to go the whole distance and see the canyon beauty, There was a lot of water in the streams and the boys had a blast playing in it and splashing and climbing on the rocks.
Sabino Canyon

From Sabino Canyon, we went to play in Honeybee Canyon and do some pictures of Nikki's family.
Honeybee Canyon

And after playing in both Sabino Canyon and Honeybee Canyon we decided to head off and play at the

GRAND CANYON!!!!!!!

And what a GRAND time we all had! We camped there. We spent the day walking around the rim, hiking down the trails and laughing and relaxing. Once the sun set we warmed ourselves by the campfire and stuffed ourselves with hot, gooey marshmallows and chocolate and all sorts of yumminess! We enjoyed steaks on the grill and breakfasts of pancakes and eggs and bacon. It was a magical and fantastic trip to be sure! And the canyon was...as always....well...Grand! Here are some pictures of the fun!

Chris playing King of the World

Us!

The three sisters!

Joe with Nate and Drew checking out the canyon.

My crew enjoying the view!

"oooey, gooey, YUMMY!"

Roasting fun by the fire!

Nate and Ben enjoy the fire!

Drew and Max laugh it up!

The Princess and her Daddy snuggle up by the fire.

A sweet visitor passes by the campsite!

All in all, the week was magically fantastic!!! I can't believe it's already over! We are already thinking about and planning the next sister's weekend! I can't wait!

Just another crazy day...

2009-04-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Crazy days seem to be par for the course in the Roberts house. Today was no exception. It started out calm enough. Harmless. No big deal. I headed in to the gym, thinking my sweat buddy, Jenny wasn't going to make it. So I ducked into the cardio theater for the very first time. I'm not real good with daytime T.V. That one is very tough for me. But I rather liked the cinema! "Bolt" was playing on the big screen this morning, so I grabbed myself an elliptical and set out to work up a sweat. Didn't take very long before I was both sweating and was really, really engaged in the movie. I really enjoyed it. I came in after it was underway..but it didn't take too terribly long for me to get the gist of the story. However...as much as I was enjoying it, by the time I hit the 50 minute mark, I was POOPED! But I couldn't stop! Couldn't bear to leave the theater before the movie was over! So at the 50 minute mark I hopped onto a bike and kept on pushing. I thought that movie would NEVER end! I mean...it was great. Funny, witty, sweet...all that. But my butt was on fire and my calves were screaming. Eventually, it did end. And I dragged my tired, sweaty self out of there. Only to see my friend Skinny...I mean, Jenny...on the treadmill. I asked her if she was planning to lift weights, and she was...so I decided I would do "just a little bit more"...you know...since we're friends and all. I hate working out by myself...so I didn't want to abandon her. I stepped up into "most excellent friend" mode. Well...we started working out. My legs were shaking SOOOO badly as I went down those stairs! They were total TOAST. Havent' been shaky like that in I don't know when. We worked out. Pushing each other as always. When we did shoulder presses I would have GLADLY picked up the 15 pound weights. But Jenny wanted 20. And if Jenny is doing 20, then I'M doing 20! At the point where I THOUGHT we were about done, Jenny decided we should, and could do a couple of sets of legs. I thought to myself..."Ummmm....not so sure about that". But then again...I'm not one to be outdone. And if Jenny was doing legs then by golly, so was I. And so...legs it was. THREE SETS OF LEGS!!!! I still don't know how THAT happened. We don't do three sets of ANYTHING!!! Always only two. But today...three! When it was all said and done it all felt great. Totally worked out. I was SO exhausted, I was practically falling asleep on the way home. The only thing that kept me awake was my loudly, rumbling tummy! In addition to be being exhausted, I was STARVING!!!!! So I hurried home for a sandwhich and shower before I hit the grocery store. In the very short time I was home, I had a client pick up her photo order, showered, ate a sandwich, made a grocery list, and was then right back at it. I sailed through the grocery store...Starbuck's in hand (thank you very much Jenny for that gift card! ). Despite the caffeine jolt I was still exhausted. I made it to the checkout with minutes to spare. I carefully explained to both the checkout man AND the bagger lady that I needed ALL of my cold stuff GROUPED TOGETHER. Reason being I was going to have to boot it out of the car and into the fridge VERY quickly. They both said okay. I felt as though we had an understanding. Just to make sure I ONLY sent my cold stuff down the checkout belt first. Then the other things. So you would THINK that I had set myself up nicely for the results I was after. ONLY...not so much. That crazy bagger woman had cold stuff in every single freaking bag of groceries I had. And it was a LOT of groceries. GRRRRRRRRR. I was NONE too happy and not even a little bit amused. This gal obviously flunked bagging 101. As a grocery checker girl myself at one point in life, I went through bagger training and am quite familiar with the bagger rules and rationale! So poorly bagged groceries is kind of a pet peeve of mine! So I was none too happy as I stood in my garage frantically unpacking every single freaking grocery bag on a hunt for miscellaneous cold things. No sooner than I had them safely stored away, I was out of the driveway again, hurtling up Oracle road toward Max's school. It's a known rule that on the days you are running the latest, those are the days that the D.A.P. will be out in full force. That's the Destination Avoidance Patrol for those of you unfamiliar with that term. And today was no exception. I FINALLY made it up to Coronado, picked up Maxwell, and had exactly ONE minute to get back down the road to meet the lady that was bringing me a sample of a bag tag I am planning to offer my dance studio clients. Got the bag tag....soooo happy with it! Zoomed back into the car and around the corner to Max's 4:00 doctor's appointment. I was a little bit stressed today about this appointment as I had to inform the doctor that NONE of the meds seem to be working on Max for his ADD and that I have now pulled him off of everything. She was great and wholly supportive and agreed that if we had not seen significant results by now, then his problem is one of attitude and low standards and NOT attention deficit. She thought a plan of less talk and more action was called for on the part of Chris and I. As in...less pleading with him and reminding him to get organized and do well and more yanking of priviledges when he fails to get his work turned in. He knows what is expected at this point in the game. He's a bright kid. He simply needs to learn to make the correct choices now. Have I ever mentioned how much I ADORE our pediatrician. The extra awesome kudos is that she used to be a teacher before she flipped into being a pediatrician. How cool is that?! She SO totally gets the teacher side of things and relates so well to the student side of life. She has seen it all and is wonderful the way she talks to the kids. I adore her. So...loong story short...we agreed NOT to medicate Max, she WOULDN'T medicate the mommy...but the door is wide open and it's game on for all sorts of things that will make Max's life miserable while he learns it is best to take care of things that need to be taken care of. Once that visit was all done, we had EXACTLY the right amount of time to get to the school and pick up Ben from Odyssey practice. While I was there, I was told no other parent had stepped up to bring snacks for the kids on Saturday while they compete...despite the fact that the request went out a couple of days ago. And so...of COURSE I volunteered to do it. And so.....it's BACK to the grocery store for me again tomorrow. Sigh. I got to be home for a whole hour and a half before I was out the door AGAIN to pick up Clara and her friend Claire from cheerleading. Two hours later I am sitting here...recapping the day and getting sleepier by the moment! And so...now that you are all caught up on my day...I gotta go catch some Zzzzzzzzzzz's!

April 1, 2009

2009-04-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

Talk about one crazy day! WOW! I got all of the kids out the door and off to school. The drop off line was just obnoxiously slow this morning. No idea what the heck the hold up was. But it was a real pain! Then I came on back up the hill, popped an english muffin in the toaster because I forgot to eat breakfast, and set myself to the task of speed washing my car! And I managed to accomplish it in record time AND I stayed dry! Woo hoo! Washing the car and devouring the english muffin took a grand total of 21 minutes and then I was right back in the car and headed to body combat. I have to say that I was not overly excited to get there today because I knew my dear friend Jenny was ditching! It's never as much fun to sweat all alone. I screeched into the gym, got all signed in and headed down to class. I had a couple of extra minutes to thrown down my things and make a super quick potty stop before class started. As I headed to "MY SACRED CORNER" in the studio I came to a VERY abrupt stop. WHO was standing there...in my happy and safe corner of the world...but STING!!!!!! I call him Sting for short. I dubbed him "Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee" many moons ago. But Sting is just easier to say! And type! STing is an older gentleman who is...well...uncoordinated and wild out there on the gym floor. And I don't mean wild like he's whooping it up and letting it go and having a blast. I mean wild...like he's gonna hurt somebody one of these days. The room tends to part around Sting. He generally has an entire full quarter of the room all to himself. REGARDLESS of how packed a class is! He throws all sorts of wild punches and kicks so hard that more than once I have expected to see him land on his wild backside! He manages to stay on his feet...but I imagine it's just barely. He's something to take in...that's for sure. I decided a long time ago that me and my space issues were not compatible with Sting and his "all over the floor crazy kung fu moves" self. Which is how I found my way back to the far right corner. It's such a lovely and safe space. The people that tend to congregate in that corner are all highly coordinated. They move when you are supposed to move, are usually on the right foot with the right arm flying...those things are important when there's a great deal of punching and kicking and what not going on. All in all...it's a GOOD corner. Or it was. Until today when I arrived to find Sting in it! It was a total " Oh Shit" moment. Another lady there who is approved for my corner and is also more than a little familiar with Sting and his moves was practically quaking in fear and was quick to flag me down and give me the warning that he was THERE. So I quickly backpedaled and made the instant decision to change locations for the day. I mean...it was the only safe thing to do. And so I moved...center back row...and ended up....in the Fart Zone. That's right. The Fart Zone. Someone in that center zone had some SERIOUS gastrointestinal challenges going on this morning as that class warmed up. I mean... WHEW!!!! I thought to myself....I can hold my breath for good long periods during the warm ups here...but once things get to cooking I am going to be sucking some wind and it REALLY needs to be MUCH fresher wind than what is circulating around here right now. Fortunately, by the time we hit the third track, the noxious fumes seemed to be letting up a bit. The one bright spot in the time at the gym was that we got to do the kick butt awesome leg workout that I just adore. I mean I LOVE it! So that helped to make up for Sting and the re-lo to the Fart Zone!

After the gym I ran home for a super quick shower, then was out the door to drop off my car for an oil change and to meet my friend Gillian for lunch. We went to Rubios and had THE BEST salads ever. I mean...absolutely amazing, wonderful, delicious, left you just a hankering for the next one kind of good! They were SO totally yummy. Accompanying Gillian today was Miss Sarah Gracie...who has got to be my very most favorite two year old in the world. I ADORE her! She cracks me up and is so sweet with her endless chatter and musings. She's at that age where everything is SO exciting and neat and fun. I could just eat her up! Lunch was a fun and lively event.

Once we were done with lunch and Gillian had gone on to put Miss Sarah down for a nap, I set off to wander through Pier One and Target. I found the PERFECT flowers for my scarlett macaw bathroom. They look SO bright and beautiful! And my parrot head picture arrived this past week and looks so great there framed by the huge picture of the feathers. It has come together really nicely! Anyway...I found gorgeous, bright hibiscus flowers that match the bathroom PERFECTLY. Then it was off to Target. I LOVE to amble my way through Target. Nice and slow and steady. $250 later it was time to get the heck OUT of that store! I really only popped in there for four things....3 small plastic baskets to organize a couple of things, toilet bowl cleaner, a red sangria wine cube (it's my little sister's FAVORITE!!!!) and a pop up laundry hamper for the camper. 4 things. I came out with....well...more than 4!!! While i was there, I decided to go ahead and take care of Mr. EASter Bunny...because I really don't have any time for that between now and then. Bunny is always rather practical in our house. He's bringing swimsuits, beach towels, and a limited assortment of candies. Then the hand soaps were on sale...so i picked up 4 of those. Then...when I got to the toilet bowl cleaners, they had TWO packs on sale for just $2.50. So I HAD to get two of those. Gladys, the housekeeper, likes a good toilet bowl cleaner. I think. Then there was the body wash. And the shampoo. And the conditioner. And the hangers. I HATE running out of hangers! Oh...and then there was the MiniMove...which is like a little portable battery operated boom box for your iPod. I wanted this for camping. We have great inside and outside speakers on the 5th wheel. Surround sound inside and nice exterior speakers too. But sometimes...if it's windy...or if the campfire is far away from the camper, it's hard to hear the Satellite Radio. So this way, we can still have some music. And we know it will music we like...because it's our iPod. See?! Makes sense, right? I'm quite sure there were a couple of other things too...anyway....by the time it was all said and done and totaled up....well, it wasn't cheap! That's all I have to say about that!

Once the car was done with the oil change...nearly 3 hours later (good grief!), I had JUST enough time to very quickly dart into Fry's and grab the milk my family was out of, the creamer for my coffee and some soup for my sick neighbor. Now...I love this neighbor and her totally sweet kiddos...if I were one who actually whipped up pots of homemade soup...I SO totally would have! But I SO totally don't do that. I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of shopping for ingredients, cutting, chopping, and cooking for a long time sorts of activities. And that's not so much my strong point. It must be a real disappointment to my mother who cooks everything from scratch and whips up delicious home cooked, full on from scratch, full dinners. From scratch biscuits and all!!! I'm definitely more of a Bisquick girl...and even that is pretty scary most of the time. So I really did my neighbor a HUGE favor by NOT attempting to make soup and simply picked it up at Fry's. Boo me. But then again...I'm guessing said neighbor is still very much alive and well tonight! Anyway...the one minor detail I forgot....was that Wednesdays are SENIOR DAYS at Fry's! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!! Talk about a nightmare obstacle course! Fry's is like the old people social event of the week. I believe they go to see and to be seen. They stand around in great aisle blocking groups and comment on who died this week. They manage to block aisles in ways that would boggle the mind. They move at practically no speed at all....It was a grocery store nightmare. I felt like an Olympic sprinter and I dodged carts and electric scooters and leaped from aisle to aisle, passing every moment I could to gain a little free and clear ground ahead. There was a gentleman ahead of me at the milk cooler. He opened the cooler and I KNOW, proceeded to touch at least 8 milks looking for an acceptable date. When I finally got my turn, I thought...Dude...if you haven't drunk your milk by 10 days from now....you should REALLY consider buying a HALF GALLON......not a gallon. Because that gallon is going to start to taste a bit wonky ten days from now, ya know?! Anyway. I was having to call on my inner, calm self just to get out of that store sane. THEN it was a major life threatening event just to cross the parking lot with all the incoming senior drivers. I don't know WHERE the heck they are looking...but it is SO not straight ahead! It is No small feat to got across that parking lot safely on senior days...I'll tell ya that!

What with senior days and all, I barely made it to school to pick up my kiddos on time. Once we picked them up we dropped off the soup, ran into an old church friend who has gotten SO wildly skinny! WOW!!!!! I asked her about it and she said it's just from taking care of the foster twins they have right now. I asked her on the spot if I could rent them. I wasn't kidding. Where do I sign? I NEED some twins! That MUST be my problem!

Once home, there were dozens and dozens of projects to tackle. Max stayed at school until 8:30 tonight working with his team on their Odyssey of the Mind project for this weekend's upcoming competition. That group is really awesome at procrastinating. I don't know if i will whoop with joy or break down and cry if they make it to the World competitions! Ben's team is doing a great job. VERY organized. VERY methodical. I think they have a really, really good shot at going on the World competition this year!

And finally....I sit here typing this from my brand new desk chair! I am SOOOOO excited to have this chair. To be sitting in something besides my kitchen chair right now....amazing. To be able to LEAN BACK on soft, but firm supportiveness...HEAVENLY!!!! To have armrests....I feel like I have died and gone to Heaven! I have to give Chris all the credit because it was him who really recognized the need and authorized the purchase. It's soooooo lovely. Ahhhh. Bliss! Buying the chair was just one other detail I took care of tonight!

And now...it is late Wednesday. I am tired. I need to sleep. But as i sit here typing this I hear Chris snoring SOOOOOO loudly. I doubt I would find sleep easily were I to head off to bed right this moment. I shall wait just a bit...then head in when it seems to have hit a quiet streak! And that's April 1 in the Robert's house!

I need to aim for bed at a reasobab

3/31/09

2009-03-31T13:11:00.000-07:00

It's been QUITE a long time since I took a few moments to catch up this blog. Needless to say the Roberts family has definitely been on the run! Spring is SUCH a busy time! Since my brush with death with a few weeks ago (aka the flu), time has been hurtling by faster than ever! Both boys competed in their Odyssey of the Mind competitions and did great. Both of their teams advanced to state level competition. So there have been LOTS of extra practices of course...added to our already very busy schedule! We head up to Phoenix this weekend for the big competition! If they are top scorers, then we will be OFF to the World competitons! Woo hoo!

The photography business has been just awesome. Very, very busy. It has felt like the Christmas crunch around here lately! It's a GREAT problem to have. I attended another great photography conference over Spring Break in San Diego. That was really nice. And I am getting too excited over some new products and techniques! Just this week I ordered SEVERAL new rolls of seamless paper in all sorts of wonderful and fun colors! I can't WAIT for that to get here. Then I have just a couple of other things to gather and I will be ready to PLAY!!!! I'll also be looking for volunteers...so if you read this and are interested, shoot me a note! There is so much fun and exciting stuff going on with the whole photography business that I am thinking about adding a blog to my website so I can update it more regularly. I am not allowed to touch my website...too much potential for disaster...according to my dear hubby! But I'm quite handy with a blog and if he'll just add a simple button or link from my website...well that would solve everything! It's on my "to do" list! Along with a few hundred other things! LOL!

Another fun thing in our house....my sister, her hubby and two adorable boys are coming to Tucson to see us THIS SATURDAY!!! Woo Hoo! So we will be racing from the competition award ceremony Saturday after 5 p.m. to get back to Tucson and then down to the airport to get them! We have so many fun things planned while they are here! There are sunset horseback rides, hiking, the Desert Museum and a camping trip to the Grand Canyon! It will be a lively and action packed week for sure! Not there seems to be anything else at our house! I don't know what our family would do if we suddenly found ourselves with any semblance of free time or without a calendar slammed full of appointments and obligations! I do dream of it though! That is...when I slow down enough to sleep...which is NOT nearly enough lately. I am severely lacking in the sleep dept. here lately. I NEED to work on that!

Oh well...that's the catch up! Got to run again! Unfortunately, the laundry in this house does NOT do itself!!!!

Sleepless Nights

2009-03-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

It is 3:46 a.m. right now and i cannot sleep. Every time I drift off at all, I seem to start coughing...or I just can't be still. This flu has whacked out my whole sleeping patterns. Not that i'm not tired! I've got plenty of THAT going on for sure. Just not the sleep results that go along with it. I'm not the only sleepless being in the house tonight. I see that Benjamin has passed through here at 1:37 this morning. How do I know this? Because I poured out a dose of medicine for him and left a note for him on the stairs that it was there. I figured he would come looking for something for his sore throat pain...and since I was planning to sleep well for the first time tonight...then he wouldn't have to wake me. He could just get it and go back to bed. I just told him in the note to jot down what time he took it so I would know when he could have another dose. Hence...the 1:37 pass through the kitchen. I found his note. What's really annoying is that once I'm up and sitting here doing something completely mindless and NOT trying to sleep...the cough completely disappears. Hmmmm. ain't life grand that way?

I was supposed to do pictures first thing in the morning, but I ended up rescheduling them because I cannot in good conscious bring a sweet healthy baby into the flu pit! Not with people still coming down sick every few days! I suppose that was the best decision, as I am still totally wiped out myself. The not sleeping thing, coupled with the coughing all day thing, coupled with I've been flat on my back, do not get up, do not pass go, do not collect $200 for three days thing...it really zaps you! We had a dinner thing last night for Chris's work, and I was practically crawling back in the door last night after dinner. And it was NOT a late night. But I could hardly talk by the time we got home because my throat was so exhausted. And I was coughing again. And I couldn't even begin to come close to finishing my dinner! That's a first! Anyway...this flu is taking an even bigger toll on me than I had realized and it's effects have been MUCH longer lasting and further reaching than I would have thought.

I really have no other news than exactly that tonight. Or I should say, this morning. It is nearly 4 a.m. and I'm just so tired. Going to try to slip back into bed and see if perhaps I can log at least one or two more hours before I face this new day. Now that I moved my appointment, there is NOTHING on the calendar. Like NOTHING. And THAT is a first in I don't know how long! If I wasn't so darned tired and worn out, I might be giddy with excitement. Instead...all I can think about doing with the day...is sleeping. Flu...it's a nasty thing!

Life With the Flu

2009-03-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY feel like I turned the corner this afternoon. After a VERY rough start this morning that sent me right back to bed shortly after my FIRST attempt at starting the day, I seem to have finally gotten over the hump and actually feel somewhat, semi human tonight! Not great. My throat is STILL hurting. And there's the headache. And I'm quite tired as well. But I was able to take a whole shower today AND dry my hair all in one pass. That is a HUGE improvement over the rest of this week! I even managed to get fresh sheets on our bed and a LOT of Lysol coverage accomplished in our house! I'm exhausted tonight...but feeling....okay. Unfortunately...our Ben is NOT feeling okay. He went to bed MISERABLE with a sore throat. And chills. And body aches. And a fever of nearly 103. Awesome. It would seem as though he has picked up my disease. How very special. I told Chris...without a doubt...if all of our children are coming down with this....our Spring Break vacation then is OUT OF THE QUESTION!!!! We are supposed to go to San Diego again. But there is NO WAY I am taking three cranky, feverish children to the beach and trying to share a whopping 30 foot tin can with them while they hack and cough and cry and complain. NO THANK YOU!!!! We can all just stay home and die and be miserable in the comforts of home. I know the kids will be disappointed for sure if that's the way it shakes out. But the beach is ONLY fun if everyone is HEALTHY and happy when you go!!! Hopefully, our Ben will rest it all off tomorrow and feel just peachy by Saturday. But somehow....I doubt it. He was PRETTY miserable tonight. And it was a kind of misery that stoked an instant pang of recognition in me and rang only too accurately of this latest bout of mine! Here's hoping. But I think the Roberts will be spending Spring Break at home in the bed!!!! Pray mightily for us. This is bad stuff floating about our house! I am praying and hoping for the best...but truly expecting the worst!

Bad Decision

2009-03-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

Going to Clara's play tonight was a bad, bad idea. It was entirely too ambitious considering my state and lack of sleep over the past two days. My fever and chills kicked in about 20 minutes into the performance. By that time I had been sitting there for nearly an hour as we had to get there early in order to get a decent seat. The last 20 minutes were unbelievably long. All in all...for a school play it was a very reasonable 40 minutes long. It just felt so much longer due to my state of illness. The first hour and a half I was home after the play was miserable. My throat was hurting so badly. I was nauseaus. Horribly. And freezing again from the chills. I did my pathetic salt water gargle...or the best impression of it that I could manage considering I was trying not to vomit. Then tried hot tea to soothe it...but that only added to the nausea. All in all it was quite a setback and I felt like I lost a lot of ground. So now it's back to bed for me...this time with a whole new knowledge and appreciation of what my current limitations are. This flu is miserable, miserable business. But at least Chris is home now. Of course...he's terrified of getting it! No doubt about that and I can totally see it in his eyes. But at least he is here to help get the kids out the door to school. That in and of itself is a huge relief. That expediture of energy in and of itself has nearly killed me each day. Off to try to sleep now. Flu sucks.

Here's Hoping

2009-03-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight is Clara's first grade play. I have been preparing myself all day for the fact that I HAVE to pull myself together enough to walk into that school and see her do her thing. Apparently she has some important parts. And it simply won't do for her not to have her parent there to witness her doing them! And since her Dad is sitting on an airplane, then it HAS to be me! And so I have dragged myself out of bed and made an attempt to comb my hair into something halfway respectable. I've put on a touch of makeup (not that I think it has really helped too much) and I have on something besides pajamas. And now...15 minutes before it's time to go...I"m totally exhausted and ready to go to bed! The throb is SOOOO happening in my throat...despite cup upon cup of hot tea and several salt water gargles. Oh...and about those...boy do I suck at gargling! I mean....Yikes! Every other time I've attempted it I've either ended up wearing a great deal of my salt water on my shirt, had it running out my mouth and down my face, or managed NOT to catch it at the back of my throat, only to have a nasty swallow/gag response that manages to flush the vile stuff right out my nose. Very graceful that gargling has been. I think my gag reflex might be a tad bit sensitive for any real productive gargling to be able to take place. Nevertheless...I have tried repeatedly anyway. And now I am getting ready to drag myself off to the school. Luckily Chris' mom is coming to drive us. Because I'm not sure I can do all of that. I'm wiped out so easily right now. And I am hoping and praying that just this once, the music teacher has seen fit to come up with a short and concise little musical play. Some of the ones in the past have been QUITE long and seem to drag on forever. Pleeeaaassse don't let that be the case tonight. Please let it be short and sweet. Well...it's nearly time to go. So here's hoping for short and sweet. I don't even care if it's sweet....I'm just really hoping for short!!! Here's hoping!

New Day....Same Crud

2009-03-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Well...my chicken soup was NOT a miracle worker. I do NOT feel cured. Not by long shot. Quite the opposite really. I think I have a full fledged case of the flu. The night and this day have been miserable. My throat has hurt...it feels like it wants to stick together on itself. And it's excruciating. I have battled a high fever off and on. It was 103 this morning as I was trying to talk the kids through getting ready for school. I knew without a doubt that there was no way I could get my feverish self into the car and pilot it that mile and a quarter to school. NO WAY. So I put in an early morning SOS call to Chris' mom and asked her to help me transport Ben and Clara. Ben was a sweetheart and helped Clara get her breakfast and all she needed to have so that they were both ready when Gigi arrived. I proceeded to spend the entire rest of the day here in the bed...where I am still hanging out as of 8 p.m. tonight. Still miserable. Still flu like. It's bad enough that Chris is coming home from his trip early. Not that there is much that he can do to help. It is one of those things that you just have to ride out...unfortunately. But if I die, it will be less traumatic on the kids if he is here. Just kidding. Seriously though...I do not know when I have known misery and discomfort like this. Needless to say...today has not been fun. It was REALLY not fun having to drag my feverish body into my computer desk and do the work that I left for today because I thought I would be cured. Some things can be put off until later work wise. But I was working with a client on a major deadline for some announcements they needed and I HAD to get that uploaded to the printing company for her. Everything else is simply sitting on hold for now until I can get my head clear a little bit and my body to stop hurting. Tomorrow is a new day. I again, am hoping for a miraculous cure tonight so I can go to bodycombat tomorrow. But I am not overly counting on that. There is a new heaviness this evening in my face and sinuses that I am finding quite uncomfortable. Seems as though the symptoms just keep on rolling themselves out. Patience. Just trying to be patient through all of this.

The Trials of Motherhood

2009-03-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

Today has been less than stellar. Seriously. For starters, I woke up with a lovely, itchy throat. Initially, I wasn't overly concerned, since we had been outside much of the afternoon with a run, and then yardwork. It was windy and there is a lot of yellow stuff floating around in the air right now with spring approaching. But as the day wore on, the itch was more annoying...and soon became a tight, painful cough and very scratchy throat. By the time I got home from dance with Clara my throat was screaming and I was running a low grade fever. Nice. Awesome Lovely. We nuked chicken noodle soup for dinner. That felt nice on my throat for sure. My feverish self asked Max and Ben to help unload the dishwasher. You would have thought I had asked Max to single handedly deep clean the house, top to bottom, with a toothbrush. I was NONE too happy with his attitude. NONE at all. And it was a VERY bad night to pull such an attitude showing. I can't tell you how my body was aching, and how my throat was screaming as I watched Max and his antics. I was quick to step in and set him straight on a few things. He not only earned dish duty thanks to his attitude, but also laundry duty, bathroom duty and he lost his video game priviledges...again. Worse still...there is NO daddy at home right now to step in and smooth the path or save him. Chris is in Boston, so it was just Max and the wrath of mom. Not ideal...that's for sure. By the end of the night, after dishes and laundry folding, I think Max was definitely reconsidering his previous outburst of attitude. As he will continue to do over the next few days. Or weeks. Or months. Or the rest of his days under this roof. I think that the next time I request a small amount of help it will come quickly and gladly. Or it will at least appear to!

It is now 9:30 p.m. and I am starting to feel a little bit better thanks to a hefty dose of ibuprofen tonight! The aches and pains seem to have eased off a bit. The cough has quieted a bit. My chest and throat aren't screaming so much as I cough. Which is kind of nice. I have some work to do tonight...but I am letting it lie until morning. Unusual for me, for sure! Tomorrow is a new day and the work will still be there! It will keep. And with my ibuprofen and soup, I fully expect to be cured...like 100% tomorrow morning. Because it is my PLAN to head in to the gym and work out with my friend Jenny. I have missed her! Of course...we will have to see how I feel. And how Clara feels (who happens to feel miserable tonight with a tummy ache!). Hopefully everyone will make it out the door to school and have a fantastic, misery free day! Well...Max will most likely be pretty miserable for quite some time now that I yanked his video game priviledges. But I can live with that. No problem.

Tomorrow is a NEW day! And I am looking forward to it!

A Competitive Weekend

2009-03-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

This has been a very busy and insane weekend for us. All three kids had competitions...simultaneously...on opposite ends of town! Max and Ben both had their Odyssey of the Mind competition this morning and their performances NEARLY overlapped. Chris accompanied them throughout their day. He got to observe Ben while his group performed. Then went screaching out of there and on to the next location to try to catch Max's. They had already shut the doors on that one...but he did get to at least observe it through the window! Meanwhile, I was down at the TCC with Clara while her cheer squad competed in the Cactus Jamfest. It was SO much fun to watch all of the little, and big, girls compete in dance and cheer! Her squad did SO awesome! They really nailed their routine and stuck every single stunt! I was amazed watching them out there. They were so bright and smiley and confident and sure of themselves. It was great to watch what at what time seemed like total chaos, really turn into something amazing. Here are some shots of the day!

Once the competition on Clara's end was finished, we headed back out to the other side of town to check out our boys! As we sat through the awards ceremony, we were thrilled and surprised to hear both of our boy's teams had performed really well and would be going on to the state level competition! This is awesome and exciting and a great opportunity for our boys. Of course...it totally complicates life as well! It means lots more late afternoon, after school rehearsals! Which means a lot more extra fun driving/mom taxi time for me! And it means being in Phoenix on the exact same day that my younger sister is flying in to Tucson for a week's visit! So we will arrive in Phoenix at the crack of dawn on that Saturday. Compete all day. Find out who scored well enough to head to the World level competition...then fly home like the wind JUST in time to slide on down to the airport and get Nikki! YIKES!!!! WHAT a day! It's not even here yet and I am exhausted!!!

I seriously could not be prouder of my kids today! All three of them competed so well and wonderfully! I am excited to be on this journey with the boys in Odyssey of the Mind again. I am excited to see my Ben pick up the torch and anxious to see how far he will dare to take it! I am thrilled that they made it to state level so that the next time they compete, at least will get to see it! It's an exciting time for all my kiddos! Even with JamFest behind us, Clara still has a lot of practice and preparation to do to get ready for her big recital. I am also nervous about that coming up, as it looks like she may have as many as four costume changes in the course of that short evening! Yikes! Big fun happening in the Roberts house! It appears as though it's going to be a wild ride from now until May! Yee Haw! Buckle down and hang on tight!

Clara's Cheerleading Rehearsal

2009-03-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Clara had her last rehearsal before the big JamFest this weekend. It was a dress rehearsal . Her squad had worked so hard to pull this off! I was really surprised by the progress they have made in such a short time! I know it will be a super fun weekend for them competing and getting to watch the other squads! Here's the video of one of their runs! Clara is front, left with the long blonde ponytail. I tried to follow her, but those gals are ALL over the floor! I think I kept her on the screen most of the time! She always goes up on top of the pyramids, to the left side, should you lose her!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcGOyHP6mvY

Misery in the House

2009-02-25T09:26:00.000-08:00

Today I am miserable! I have been up since 11:00 p.m. last night. Not by myself. Poor Max joined me in the misery. It seems that Maxwell and I picked up a nasty little case of food poisoning. We were comforting each other in our miseries all through the night. Now that the sun has come up...noone is throwing up still...so that's good. But we are both pretty miserable still. My stomach still hurts so much and waves of nausea continue to wash over me from time to time. And we both still have horrible headaches. Actually, after last night, my whole entire body is just hurting today. I just managed a piece of toast and yet another hit of ibuprofen, hoping to settle the grumblies and groans that are still happening and to curb the unrelenting head and body aches. I haven't seen Max for a couple of hours now, so I am thinking he's dropped back off to sleep. Sigh...NOT how I was looking to spend my Wednesday. I had to miss this morning's combat class and I HATE missing that class.

In other Roberts news...Max continues on medication for his ADD. He is still pretty uncooperative in the process and insists that there is NO problem whatsoever. Each Dr.s visit is quite stressful with him as he is SO set in his opinion. Yesterday we argued ENDLESSLY about a certain assignment that is "missing" in one of his classes. He insists that he turned it in, but his grade report is still showing a zero. He's unbelievably okay with just taking a zero...whereas, I am not so much. That has been a HUGE part of his problem this school year...all the zeroes. Our hopes with the medication he was put on is that it will help him to be able to focus more and follow through on the grades he is missing and help him tune in more to what needs to be taken care of. I wish I could say it's working...but thus far...not so much. The arrangement that we have is that as long as he is showing any outstanding missing assignments, he is "unplugged", as in no video games. That's the place where it really gets him. Video games are his LIFE link! That worked well...until I had to enforce it yesterday. You would have thought it was the end of the world. Tempers were flaring and he argued his irresponsible point to the death. I kept explaining the whole point of all of this is to develop sense of responsibility and an ability to see the details through. HE says "who cares about a zero if you still have a B in the class?!". Lovely. Again...I went back to the point that it isn't really the grades...but the details involved in the grades and that's where things are falling through the cracks. He argued back...it was endless. I love raising the pre-teen and all of his crazy irrational hormones! Big fun!

In addition to arguing with Max all day yesterday, we had another dinner time disaster! It's no real secret that I don't love to cook. I really pretty much hate it. But I recognize that it is often times a necessary evil. And I try to do some things that Chris will enjoy eating. If I do something entirely not kid friendly, then I try to make sure I make something else for the kids. Yesterday, despite the first uncomfortable rumblings of this horrific food poisoning starting to crank up, I cooked dinner for my family. I chose a recipe from the new Cooking Light issue that had sounded yummy. On the menu last night...lemon pepper shrimp scampi, sauteed asparagus and orzo. It cooked up nicely and the presentation was lovely. I placed a bright and beautiful plate in front of each of my family members. They all proceeded to sit and stare at it like I had just placed a plate of radioactive poo in front of them. Lovely. I could see the kids being a bit skeptical...but I expected more from
Chris. His lack of enthusiasm did NOT go unnoticed. When I questioned as to whether or not he liked it he said it was fine. Good. Yet he didn't eat it like it was. That's when he told me he had just happened to have fish, asparagus and rice for lunch. Hmmm. Lovely. Wrong answer. By this point, my stomach was really churning, I was tired and miserable and with all of the arguing with Max, added onto the whole radioactive poop reaction. Dinner was a lovely affair! Just underscores how much I totally hate cooking!

What else is going on? Business is good. Much better than I expected with this current economy for sure! It's keeping me plenty busy these days and I suppose that is a really good thing. The school year is rocking right along. We are already at Rodeo Days tomorrow...So there are only about 3 months of school left. I am ready for summer! Not so much because I look forward to having the kids here 24/7...but I AM looking forward to not having the constant homework grind and schedules and activities going on. I'm more than ready for a break from the projects and reports and homework packets. We are scheduled to spend a month at the beach this summer and I am really looking forward to that!

Guess that is about all the news for now. Tummy is hurting so I am getting off of here and try to escape the pain!

Power of Pictures

2009-02-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

I am so tired as I type this tonight. And I need to go to bed. But my mind is swimming and I need a few minutes to wind it all down so i can rest. Tonight I have been working on a slideshow for one of my NILMDTS families. I probably should have had it done by now...but I had two sessions hit my desk less than 12 hours apart. And there are so many photos from each session. And the session I am working on tonight has maternity, birth, and memorial service pictures too. It's a LOT of photos to sort through. I have been working on these pictures for over a week now. One here, and two or three there. Every time I have had a second I have pulled them up and worked on whatever was next. Tonight I started stringing them all together into a slideshow presentation. It's the first time I've seen the finished images all together. Showcased. And set to music. It's breathtaking. I sat here in tears as I saw the images cross my screen. I mean...I took the images. I remember being there. But I am taken aback by the power of these photographs. By how much emotion they convey. By how much grief has been captured. The details...The STORY that they tell. The pictures are all so beautiful. I see two parents in a maternity shoot cradling their soon to be born son. A son they know is not destined to live on this earth with them. A son they know they will greet and say goodbye to in the same breath. I see resolve in this beautiful mother's eyes. And I see...hope? In Dad's eyes? The scene changes then and phases into a collection of tiny feet. And tiny hands. And two parents cuddling their sweet baby. Gone before they even really uttered the word "welcome". I see their big hands against his tiny one. And his sweet little feet all curled up under him. I see his grandmothers cradling him just so and cooing to him and dressing him. I see his Daddy bestowing a sweet and emotion filled kiss upon his Mommy's head as she gazes down at him. And I see so much love and tenderness and sadness. The pictures fade and phase into new scenes. There are funeral floral arrangements. Blue and white flowers everywhere. And a tiny little white coffin. There are family gathered around a statue of Jesus. A united front in bidding farewell to this precious angel. There are pictures of his Mom and Dad and brothers and grandmothers...all releasing beautiful white doves up into the air. And all of those doves flying in the shadow of a beautiful daytime moon. Dad carries this tiny coffin, himself, from the hearse to the statue place. And again, from this place to the grave. He hands it, oh so tenderly to the gravedigger....awaiting this wee babe from down in the hole. There are photos of his family saying goodbye. Tossing their handfuls of dirt onto the casket and throwing in roses in a final act of goodbye. Powerful images. I am moved beyond belief tonight. I am so blessed that this family let me capture their journey. That they trusted and invited me into their world to capture this for them. To preserve it in such a way that they will treasure for all times. I'm blessed to have had my perspective reset...to have had a glimpse of a different life...and to be reminded that we are all dealt a different path to walk upon. None of us knows what tomorrow holds and each day is precious and a gift from God. As painful as it was...this day was still a gift for this family. And it's all there...the power of the pictures. And I am a changed person because of it.

When it Rains, It Pours

2009-02-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

Keep me in your prayers. I just had, yet another call from UMC with a NICU family needing services. We are getting so many calls right now. So many hospitals and families asking for our services. It's been nuts. Between my two sessions last week AND the memorial service, I probably have over 400 pictures on my desk right now that need attention. Not to mention my other, paying clients who also would like to receive their pictures in a timely manner. i am having some major time management challenges right about now! So much to do...so little time. And now I have a yucky cold coming on as well. My head feels so heavy and yucky. I just want to climb into bed and sleep forever...but there is NO time for that. And so...prayers for me as it pours and pours tasks right now.

Max's grades are once again, in the proverbial toilet! I don't know how it happens for him. He simply cannot get his things turned in. Doesn't seem to bother him one little bit. I guess I am going to really have to step back here and let him take the fall. It's going to be hard and fast I'm afraid. But alas. It's up to him to make a success of himself. The sooner he does so, the better. Unfortunately, I'm afraid he possesses quite a bent toward the lazier side of life and I doubt motivation is really pumping through him. It's so frustrating to keep going through this with him. At times I feel a bit sympathetic towards him...today I'm really just back to being severely aggravated with him. Watching him...I see that he really just doesn't give a crap. That's an unfortunate thing really. Makes life more than a little miserable around here and it makes it very, very hard for me to like that boy of mine. He and I are just such different creatures. He's like an alien to me with his thinking and his lack of effort and motivation. I honestly do not know what to do with him.

The weekend is ending up jam packed. I'm tired already just thinking about all that needs to be done and accomplished. There are extra, mandatory cheerleading practices on Saturday. And a lot of photo shoots. And two birthday parties. A sleepover...Oh...and Chris has a dinner that he and I have to go to. And thats just Saturday's schedule! Yikes! I really can't wait until we have a weekend with absolutely NOTHING going on. Just a couple of days to sit around and stare at each other. Sounds oh so dreamy!!!

That's all the news for now. Or at least...all that I have time to share. It's late. I'm tired. Must sleep as we hit the floor running full speed tomorrow morning!

Life

2009-02-01T20:09:00.001-08:00

It has been a very busy couple of weeks in our house. A lot of "life" happening. Both boys have science fair projects due. Oh joy and jubilation over those assignments. I hate the science fair. I hate the projects. I hate the time and tediousness that have to go into it. I hate the display boards and every single thing that surrounds it. Plain and simple. And so, it's been a taxing couple of weeks. I should be thankful that Maxwell decided to investigate something simple this go round, instead of all manner of impossible, like he usually does. I am pleased to announce that the CIA and FBI have no cause to be alarmed over his choice of subject matter this time. He's not researching the feasability of launching a biological terrorism attack on the world. Or any other terrorist like activities either! Nope. He's trying to see if video games are an effective way of distracting people from pain. Poor Max...had to sit around with his friends and play video games all day long with them. The rigors of research, I tell ya! He has all of his results...yet getting them all typed up and in presentation form seems to be a hump he just can't get motivated to get over. Thus, I get to live in uncompleted project purgatory for a while! Fun, fun, fun. That boy loves messing with my peace! Ben is working on his own project. He's all about killing some plants. Like mother, like son! He's trying to determine which of 4 different detergents is most harmful to vegetation. Honestly...the fact that the plants are sitting in MY backyard pretty much is about as harmful as it gets! But he's faithfully watering them with his soapy concoction and it's just a matter of time now before death takes them over.

It's been a very busy couple of weeks with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. I had two babies in two days last week. One I was expecting, and one I was not. But it turned out that moms knew each other and lost their angels just hours apart. I have been so blessed by both of these families. They have been so sweet and wonderful to work with. I have been scrambling to get images ready for them so that they will have them for services this week. One family asked me to also come and photograph their graveside service. So I am going to do that tomorrow. I spoke with one of the moms yesterday. As we talked I could hear it in her voice how desperate she was to see any images of her baby girl. She told me the ones they took at the hospital just weren't very good. I only had a few of them ready for her. But I went ahead and e-mailed them to her as I talked with her. And just hearing her voice when she received them...It reminded me why I do this. She broke down in tears and cried and kept saying over and over again how beautiful they were and how beautiful her little girl looked. She was so relieved to know that there were beautiful images of her from that preciously sweet time she had gotten to hold her. I know that those pictures will mean the world to her and her family. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all right now, with so many pictures on my desk to deal with and nearly all of them needing a good deal of tedious touching. Add in the services tomorrow....along with just the business of all of our Mondays....and I almost want to stick my head in a hole until it goes away! But I know what these images will mean to the families...and so I push on!

Chris and I have been doing the P90X workout. I made it through the entire first week. It is definitely the hardest workout I have ever taken on in my entire life. The first day I did it, I didn't think I would be able to raise my arms over my head ever again! And the next day that I did it, I thought I might never walk normally again. I was THAT sore. And I rarely get sore from a workout. My arms hurt. And my back and my chest. And my BUTT! OH my butt! And my abs. Ouch! But it's been a week and the workouts are cycling through again now. The legs workout was tough...but not as tough as the first time I did it. And I added weight this time also. The first time I did it with none! I'm sore this evening...but nearly like I was the first time through. And I KNOW I am getting stronger. When I started, I could only do about 25 of one of the ab exercises. Yesterday I did 47! Nearly double! I was SO excited! And I feel like my legs must be getting stronger too. And my cardio. I did my 4 1/2 mile run to Stone Canyon this morning. Usually I am having to really fight for it about the half way mark as the whole first half of the run is slightly uphill. But today I wasn't fighting for it at all. It was so much easier than normal! And I really didn't even feel the first waves of fatigue until I was just outside our neighborhood again. I even ran some extra distance on the end! I was definitely feeling it by the time I got back home...but by then I had run a fantastic run and at a really great pace too! I think it's working. I'm still not skinny. No real change at all there. Damnit! But I'll get there. I am feeling very encouraged tonight with it!

I guess that is about all that is happening, Just business and what not. We're moving at the speed of life around here! Catch us if you can!

Three out of four!

2009-01-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

I uploaded a handful of my Costa Rica pics to the Arizona Daily Star reader's gallery tonight. I find that it is a great place to get some pretty serious critique! There are some SERIOUSLY talented people posting there. If you have never checked it out...you should! You can just go to AZSTARNET.com and click on the readers gallery icon on the left hand side. From there, you can explore pictures of almost anything and anywhere you can imagine. Anyway...I uploaded four pictures about two hours ago. I just logged back on and three out of the four pics have great comments! One of them already has SIX comments and has been picked up and added to the AZSTARNET homepage! It's a picture of the scarlet macaw feathers...and it is sitting there and has been given the caption "birds of a feather share their photos together". The comments state that "That is a piece of art." WOW! Art! Other comments include "Beautiful!" and "Very striking and a nice composition." And "Gorgeous!" I might have to have that one framed? My sloth has two comments. "Amazing shot!" and "Well done! Fantastic image." and my snake has one. Just "beautiful" , but still...I'm so excited! Isn't that so cool?

Costa Rica in Pictures

2009-01-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Dinner Wednesday Night

2009-01-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

So tonight...we were treated to another patio dinner here at the hotel. A lovely dinner with a lovely little menu. Extravagant and over the top appetizers and....salads? Whatever it was....the second course might have been a wee bit over the top! Then there was the meal. Yummy beef tenderloins! Or salmon or eggplant or pork glazed spareribs. All delectable and divine. But as dinner was served tonight....there was a little something "extra" in the air. There was music. All sorts. Some odd guitar and some sort of bells or tubes instrument thing. Like a xylophone....a bongos set and who knows what else. And there was dancing, All sorts of spanish girls in big, swoopy, fancy dress dancing. For a while there was a narrational diaglogue. I could still translate enough to know that this whole drama involved a "moonlight walk" for the actors. It also, incidentally, involved a decent amount of yelling by the actors that sounded an awful lot like dying, or very VERY ill seagulls?! Quite disturbing. The "opera" thing went on for song after song. And just when we thought it was ending, they struck up a new line and the dying seagull dancers began picking people out of the audience. That should have been our cue to run like the wind, to get the heck out of there. But we stayed to watch. And what we watched, was one of those men come to our table and pick ME out all the people sitting there, to get up and go and dance with him. A little line dance, conga line thing that snaked amongst each and every table...making sure that not one person would miss who had been "chosen" to participate. Can't even begin to tell you how long that song was or how humilitating that little part of the festivites was! YIKES!!! AT the end of the song the conga line ended up in a warped kind of circle where everyone joined hands and rushed in on each other and sang Ole'! How special is that? As one who struggles a bit with personal space issues,...I may never, ever, be the same again! Not only did we all hold hands and slither our way amongst all the tables as a big, giant, clumsy, snake thing....we had to do a bit of a "ring around the rosy bit" where we all come together in the middle. Lucky for us we did NOT have to "all fall down". Rather...we had the dubious honor and duty to come into a tight inner circle and "flap" our wings. At one point I was quite earnestly praying that God would just pluck me right up...right now....like Elijah. And make me vanish with less than a trace! I made it through the psychotic chicken/bull run/cpnga line thing! And now I am exhuasted! We are off on the catamaran tour tomorrow! Hopefully....music and dramatic musical free!

Wednesday in Costa Rica

2009-01-14T16:19:00.000-08:00

Today has been a VERY exciting day! We slept in late this morning. That in and of itself is fairly exciting! It happens SO rarely and these room darkening curtains here in the hotel are just so fabulous! Anyway....after sleeping in to a wonderfully later than normal hour, Chris and I headed downstairs for a yummy breakfast poolside. I had belgian waffles and hashbrowns and some sort of mexican rice with peppers and black beans. Then there was fresh pineapple and bacon and something else that I have no idea what it was...but it was quite yummy! Then, after breakfast, we got all of our gear together and headed out to the Rainforest. We took an amazing tram ride up and into the jungle canopy. Kind of like gondola things that carried you up into the trees and up the mountainside. It was so neat to be smack in the middle of the jungle and to travel through all of the different layers of the canopy. On the way up we saw beautiful waterfalls, an iguana up in the treetops, hummingbirds, and beautiful toucans with their gigantic and colorful beaks! It was SO neat! At the top, instead of riding the gondolas back down again, we were instead, led down a side path, where we were introduced to our very first zip line! We were all harnessed up in all sorts of gear...straps and belts and helmets and gloves. One at a time, we were clipped onto the cable and then sent out, soaring high above the jungle below us! It was the most exhilarating thing I have ever done in my life. My legs were shaking so badly after the first two zip lines, that I did not know if my body was going to be able to handle the adrenaline rush. It was SO awesome! Time after time, we were clipped onto the different lines, and the guide there would say "one, two....See you!" . And just like that we would be airborne again. Flying through the air with a couple of hundred feet between us and the ground! To tell the truth, I am SHOCKED that I was able to go through with that. It was hands down, the scariest thing I have ever done in my life and it was just so unbelievably cool! At some points, we were sailing across the canopy, and could look out, high above the jungle and see the Pacific Ocean gleaming there in the distance and the cliffs and beaches. It was all very surreal at times! There were 10 zip lines in all. One of them was over 1000 feet long! Talk about FAST!!!!!! It was over in a matter of seconds. But SO unbelievable. Once we were safely back on the ground, we were given a tour of the reptiles of the jungle. We saw all sorts of boas and pit vipers and were amazed at their camouflage talents. It really was so neat. And by then, our tour guide who had driven us out to the rainforest was waiting to take us back to the hotel. On the way out, he found a giant termite nest on one of the trees on the side of the road. He stopped and got out and collected a handful of termites for us. On the way to the tour, he had been telling us about their protein content and their value as food in surviving in the jungle if need be. And so, he sat there with these live termites crawling across his hands for us. Who were we to refuse? So Chris and I plucked up the termites and ate them! Just like that! Live, wiggly little bugs! Again...very cool. And not at all yucky! They tasted like old, stale peanuts. Crunchy, obviously. While I would not probably order up a big bowl full for dinner, I also would not totally freak out and lay down and die rather than eat them if my survival depended on it! And so I got a little extra, albeit unusual, protein boost today!

Now that I am at the hotel and processing the day's activities, I am fairly certain that we must be insane. Those zip lines, while outrageously fun, were totally scary too. I shudder to think what would happen if ANYTHING had gone wrong. However...nothing did. We lived to tell about it and had a blast in the process! It's a memory I will NEVER forget! Pictures to come when I get home!

Interesting

2009-01-13T22:44:00.000-08:00

So...when you log onto something like Facebook or Blogger in a spanish speaking country, all of the prompts and words come up in that spanish language. Very interesting and just something...you know...FYI!

The last two days have been very interesting. I spent much of the day today laying around the pool here at the hotel and chasing iguanas with my camera. I have become QUITE an iguana hunter and am MUCH more able to spot and find them now than when i first arrived! The latter part of the afternoon brought on a fairly serious sinus headache episode. As I sit here listening to the thunder and seeing the lightening flash across our hotel room, I realize now what that was all about! I am feeling much better tonight.

Tonights activity involved loading up on a stange bus thing where all the passengers were in a sort of cage thing. There was a door seperating the passengers from the front of the bus and the driver. We were bused to a very exclusive resort about 20 minutes away. Apparently it overlooks the ocean from high atop a cliff...but one would never know it as it was too dark to see anything! But needless to say..it was a lovely party they put together for us. Dinner was exquisite. Never in my life have I seen so many glasses in so many different shapes and sizes and so many utensils arranged for one person's use. My whole family doesn't use that many glasses or utensils in a meal!!! It was very lovely and totally over the top. It's fairly surreal to realize that you are having this experience in somewhat of a third world country. I believe they told us the rooms at this resort go for between 800 and $2500 a night. Insanity! Truly!

After dinner, we returned to the hotel and had drinks out on one of the many verandas and watched the moonlight sparkling out over the ocean. Simply lovely!

Costa Rica-Arrival

2009-01-11T23:44:00.000-08:00

We are finally here in Costa Rica. It was a hellaciously long day of travel. I did just great with it until we landed here in Costa Rica. Then we sat for about half an hour in the car waiting for a couple of other people who were also coming to our hotel. It took forever to collect them and their things...or rather...their lack of things. Seems someone's luggage got a bit lost on the journey. As we pulled out of the airport, I learned that we still had approximately two hours of driving ahead of us. I figured we's jump on the interstate or four lane highway and toodle our way right on over to the hotel. Instead...we spent a solid two hours in switchback hell. Up, up, up steep hills and switchbacks and then would switchback our way back down an equally steep and treacherous set of switchbacks on the other side. Always seeming to be winding around to....well, I don't know where. It was a LOT of road watching and both Chris and I agreed that our abs got quite the workout there on those roads...just holding ourselves upright! We FINALLY rolled in to our hotel. The entry is beautiful. Gorgeous really. I was just taking in every single brick and column and chandelier of it. It was awesome! We made our way to the front check in...and as we waited behind a couple of people to check in, I noticed the first gecko on the wall. It was darting and hiding in and out from behind a picture directly in front of me. It's a very open, airy kind of foyer place....still. It was a close encounter of a kind I don't normally, so much hang with. We were given our room keys and headed on up to the third floor. Immediately, upon stepping out of the elevator, my eyes were drawn to another three gecko friends. Hmmmmm....part of the paradise experience? Who knows. So long as they stay OUT in the hallways and OUT of my room...it's all cool. I'm okay with them. OUT THERE. Bu I sure don't want to sleep with them. WHICH brings me to our sleeping arrangements. Apparently, our room in paradise is outfitted with two very small, full sized beds. I immediately pronounced us as sleeping in seperate beds. Chris was NONE too excited to hear about that. But he's such a heater...and the beds are SO tight. I just don't really see us being comfortable together in one and quite honestly...I'm pooped right now and could really REALLY use a good night's sleep! We plan to talk to the desk in the morning and see if there is another room available. With at least one queen size bed like we have at home...if not a king, Oh...and the beds aren't heavenly pillows of cloudy softness here like they were in Hawaii. Just regular old beds. Oh well. I was SOOOO looking forward to piles of pillows and billowy softness all around me. We have to get moving early tomorrow. No rest for the weary! I will update more later!

The Final Hours

2009-01-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

We are in the final 7 hours now before departure for our big trip. We spent some time with the kids this evening and then dropped them off at Grandma's house about 8:30 p.m. It was torture. Clara spent the whole two hours before we dropped her talking about how it was the last night we were going to see each other for a long time. Like I needed a reminder! There was a flurry of activity going over last minute details and papers and who had to be where and what not. A few minutes of craziness. And then the hugs. Lots of hugs. Clara had hers ready! We hugged and snuggled and she seemed ready and excited for us to leave...which was a relief...because I was starting to worry over dinner. Even Max came over with a big hug...and he is NOT a hugger. And then there was my Ben. And he was the one that caused me to come unglued. He was strangely quiet in those minutes leading up to goodbye. And he was the last to get hugged. And when I looked into those gorgeous blue eyes...they were starting to swim in tears. Filling up...slowly, but surely. And then my own joined in and for a few minutes there I thought I might die...having to leave them behind. It seemed terribly selfish and unnecessary. Chris had long since made his way to the car and was waiting for me. Reminding me that they would be just fine and busy and we'd home before they missed us, or us them. But I miss them already and I've not even left the house yet. It's so quiet here. The kids are gone. The dog is gone. I know without a doubt that Ben is missing us horribly already and Clara will be desperate to see us before we are halfway through the trip. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, though...right? I'm so wildly fond of them and it's scarcely been an hour since we parted ways! As excited as I am about this trip...I am finding this getting off part to be extremely difficult. Oh well. Bon Voyage, right?!

Getting Ready

2009-01-10T12:36:00.001-08:00

Today, I am getting ready to go to Coast Rica. Well...I've BEEN getting ready. For weeks now, I've been planning and packing in my head...making mental notes of all the hundreds of little details that need to be dealt with. Wrapping up loose ends and seeing started tasks through to the end. Despite a major change in plans of who would be caring for my children in my absence, I think I'm nearly ready. The new plans have been put into place. Pages upon pages of directions and phone numbers have been typed up. Children's suitcases have been packed. Along with mine. Chris has yet to start the packing process. He's famous for waiting until the last minute! Passports have been gathered up. Letters of authorization to seek medical treatment have been written. I feel like I have a handle on it all here in these last 16 hours or so that I am stateside. I'm looking forward to this trip...despite the fact that I am not a great traveler. I am looking forward to the break. The timing of these conferences is superb since I am just coming off the incredibly busy Christmas season! It's a wonderful and welcome break after two months of being insanely busy. I am SO looking forward to taking pictures of anything other than two year olds! And Christmas balls. And the desert. I have LIVED in the desert this Christmas season. Once I return from Paradise, it will be time to seriously help my kids crank out their science fair projects (oh, joy of my life!) and Ben's costume project for his upcoming competition. Before we know it, spring break will be here...and that's a return to the beautiful sunny beaches of San Diego for this clan! Then I've been asked to do the pics again for Clara's dance studio. I'm very excited about that because it was such a blast last year! My wheels are already starting to turn with ideas for how we will shoot this year's dancers. And there all sorts of other special and neat things on my plate when I return. On a sad note, I know that week that I return I will be doing a maternity session for a Now I Lay Me Down to sleep family. They know that their precious little boy will not be able to stay with them here, but is destined for the arms of Jesus, perhaps even before he ever takes a breath. These sessions, I think, are the hardest to do. At least for me. Somehow...while that precious little one is all tucked up so snug in their mother's womb...it just always seems to unreal and impossible that the doctors can know already that there is no hope. That it will end in tears and loss. I am always amazed at the courage of these mothers. At their committment to see it all through. To persevere to the end and bring forth the child they have been told they will not have the opportunity to see grow up. There is such a sense of resolve about them and a strength I can't even describe. I find the sessions to be a little bit stressful for me, because I don't want them to be disappointed with their images. I know they are out to capture and preserve every single little detail and memory of this child that they can. I recognize how significant this step in their journey with this baby is. These sessions count like no other ones. And when these sessions are over, sometimes I feel so guilty for having been blessed, over and over again, with three beautiful and healthy children. It's certainly a perspective setter! Anyway....enough dwelling on that! So much to look forward to in this new year. I KNOW that this is really going to be an exciting year for our family and I can't wait to see what it holds for us! I am nearly giddy with anticipation.

And on a last note. I walked my Oscar today...four and a half miles. And can I just say that it was beyond gloriously beautiful out there today. The scenery simply took my breath away and I walked in a total state of awe and appreciation of this vast and beautiful desert that I have been so blessed to live in these past four years. Seriously...the best four years of my entire life!

And on another last note....I walked behind an older couple today. I have often passed them on the street as they walk together. And what always stands out in my mind is how they always hold hands as they walk together. Always. And my heart always does a leap at the sight and as I look at them, I can't help but wonder if Chris will also hold my hand like that one day. And walk with me, And just seem to enjoy being along for the ride in life, by my side, as I am by his? I'm not sure what the power in the gesture is, but it moves me so much. And in that hand holding, I see such love, and treasuring of the other spouse. I see protectiveness of them. And a kind of sweet ownership. I see joy and happiness and tenderness and a quiet comfort that comes from knowing that you have belonged to someone, and they to you, for a very long time. I see youth, and promise, and hope. I see faithfulness and loyalty. And I see friendship. And unity and solidarity and acceptance. And I see love that is not easily swayed by the winds of the world. Wow...pretty sappy and nostalgic of me, huh?! All that...in just holding hands?! Well...anyway. It moves me. That's all.

And on that sappy and completely unrelated to absolutely ANYTHING at all note...I have more packing to do! Back in a week!

I HATE the Science Fair

2009-01-05T19:57:00.001-08:00

What I mean by that, is that I DETEST it. I LOATHE the whole act of exploring the scientific method and creating dazzling scientific experiments that have been executed by people in my household. I HATE having to help my kids THINK of a topic. To come up with a question they are thirsting for an answer to. To form a hypothesis. All of it. Just hate it. It's that time of year again. And the science fair is mandatory for Maxwell. This is problematic on SO many levels! First of all...Max is my most disorganized. He has a very difficult time with these long, drawn out, way off deadlines kind of projects. A lot of time to do a project translates directly to a LOT of time to procrastinate for Maxwell. Another problem is that Max tends to think in grandiose terms and ideas. He'll have none of that" which fertilizer works best on the pea plants?" kind of experiments. No siree. He wants to bend light and defy gravity and build electro magnets and all other manner of complicatedness. Drives me insane. Truly. And therefore...Mom set forth some science fair rules tonight. The rules are 1)The project must be VERY simple and straightforward. There is to be NO complicated processes or vague areas involved. 2) The project must NOT be dependent on the gathering of difficult supplies or on any supply that cannot be purchased at either Target, Walmart or Home Depot. And 3) There will be NO attempts at changing the world through said science fair project. Nope. We are simply out to execute the scientific method...step by step, in a manner that will, in the end, produce a clear and concise report, complete with pictures and easily interpretable date...basically...we are after an easy grade here. I harbor absolutely ZERO hopes and desires to go on to the science fair competition. I simply want to get this project done and turned in. Now...it might sound as if I personally am going to be doing this project. I truly wish that were the case. At least then I could sleep at night, knowing it was all on track, under control and being done in an organized manner! I am NOT going to be doing it. I am simply not enjoying the fact that this will be hanging over my head now for the next two months. GRRRRRRRR. I SO hate the science fair! I hated it when I had to do the projects while I was in school. And I really, REALLY hate them now that I have to watch my kids crank them out. Oh well. Guess I had better just buckle up and hang on for this wild ride! Come on SPRING!!!!

A Day at Old Tucson Studios

2008-12-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

I had such a good time out at Old Tucson Studios yesterday with Chris's sister Kelly and her two little girls. Then, I've had even more fun playing with the smilebox! Here's a little taste of the day! More to come later when things slow down around here a little bit! It's been NUTS for two weeks now!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Blogging When I Shouldn't Be....

2008-12-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's late. The clock says 10:25 as I begin this post. And when you are 37, knocking hard on 40...it's late. Today, I was informed that a family I recently did a NILMDTS session for has requested a photo for the memorial service. It's NOT a lot of notice. I DON'T have their little guy ready. AND...it's Sunday...and all the local labs are closed. I COULD upload it to my lab and it MIGHT ship out...overnight....tomorrow...but it also might not. And even if it DID...it probably would not make it in time for the Tuesday morning service. AND I have a house full of company which becomes even fuller tomorrow. Lots of time to slip away and work on this precious angel. I thought about going on to bed, quitting with the one photo that I do have ready for them and praying that I can get it printed tomorrow. The wheels in my head are turning SO fiercely right now. I am praying SO hard that the local lab here CAN and WILL do this job for me....like on the spot. Professionally and beautifully for this couple. So that they can display a beautiful image of their first and only child. There is a part of me that needs it to be perfect and I cringe at the thought of Walgreens handling it. Truly. NOT to mention the hoops that I have to jump through to get anything remotely professional done there! And so...it's keeping me up this night. I have so many scenarios flipping through my head right about now. These sessions around the holidays bother me like no others do. Truly. Tomorrow is the 22nd of December. These parents will bury their baby on the 23rd. While the whole world around them is caught up in the hustle and bustle and business of the holiday...these precious parents will be burying their sweet boy. And Christmas from here on out will NEVER be the same. A void has been created that can never be filled. And for so, so many years, a sense of sadness is going to wash over this young mother like a tidal wave each and every Christmas season. And instead of being a season of hope of peace...for them, it will be a season to remember the sweet little boy who never opened his eyes. And honestly, my heart just breaks for them in so many ways that I never could have imagined. I feel guilty watching my own children play and be swept up in this season. I don't know why...but this little guy has me rather unsettled tonight. And so...instead of going to bed, I am editing photos....and blogging...and I have a million things to do tomorrow. I mean...really...it's insanity. I'm also listening to music, drinking some wine, running some laundry and listening to the dishwasher hum away. And I am just sad for them. That's what it really comes down to. Pray for them. For this sweet young couple who has just suffered this devastating loss. The circumstances are beyond unfair and it's just tragic. At this time of year, I think of all of my families I have met, unfortunately, through NILMDTS...and I wonder how they are and what life looks like for them today. I can't help but wonder what their babies would look like now. As I am sure their mothers must surely have wondered a thousand times. What color would their eyes be. And what color would their hair be? Would they look more like their mommies or their daddies? And would they be good babies? Or a handful? I have SO many other things I need to be doing right now. But tonight...my heart is their with these families. And I am mourning their little ones so much tonight. I can't seem to focus my attention anywhere but right where it is right now. And so...on that note, I go back to my little guy. Because it is getting later by the minute. And you KNOW how many pictures I take! And so....time is of the essence. I feel a new, self imposed deadline there for me. And it's a long night I have ahead of me. Pray for this family as they get ready to say goodbye...before they ever had a chance say hello.

Where We Are

2008-12-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

Well...it is six days before Christmas. Gladys came to clean the house today. I LOVE Gladys. While Gladys was cleaning the house, Tonya was catching up on LOTS of laundry, cleaning out junk drawers, other kitchen drawers, PANTRIES, and closets. Awesome is what that was. At the end of the day...there was this TOTAL cleanliness. I cannot even begin to describe what that feels like and the price I attach to that feeling. When it's all done and Gladys leaves, and I look around and see the whole house is clean...THE WHOLE ENTIRE FREAKING HOUSE!...and that the laundry is done....the clothes are sorted, folded and put away, the drawers are neat and clean and various other projects have been tackled...well....it just makes my heart smile. Literally....my heart just smiles. Getting this entire house clean is NO small feat. Not with my three current children. (any day now I am hoping the aliens will return the REAL Roberts children...the ones who clean up after themselves and feel a need to help accomplish tasks around the house....but in the meantime...it's rough going with the alien models!). But somehow, Gladys manages. And my heart just soars to be a witness to it. And at the end of each cleaning I pat myself on the back and simply marvel at my astounding spanish skills! It's pathetic really...but I truly do marvel and congratulate myself on carrying on full conversations (and while they lean fairly strongly to one side...I DO manage to get the gist of the topic of conversation!). I freely admit that I enjoy having Gladys here and practicing my pathetic spanish on her. And can i tell you...today we had a whole conversation about cleaning with ONLY water and a microfiber cloth?! Really, I simply posed the question..."es solamente aqua?" (Is it only water....) and she kind of took it and ran with it from there. But she definitely started it with "Si, Si!" And then there was whole bunch of other stuff that just went like way right over my head. But yes...it was only water and the magic little microfiber cloth....which apparently you have to wet....and then wring practically, but not quite dry. Anyway. Big spanish fun here on cleaning days!

While Gladys was here, I got to bond with Maxwell. Ben had a birthday party to be at and Clara elected to stay with her Gigi and get lots of one on one attention, while I had Max at home with me. He was actually a delight. He was helpful and really pitched in and did everything that I asked, and then some. I can actually say that I enjoyed his company...for once! I was careful NOT to get too sucked in to his charms (because my Max can be OH so charming...and I am NOT kidding). I still made another appointment with the pediatrician for a follow up visit to further discuss the ADD possibility. Max has had a few days to chew on this now. Well....a couple of weeks really. He was supposed to "show us" in this time that he needs no help and that he has everything "under control". Yeah...not so much happening. Always a wild ride with that son of mine. He has NOT had it under control. He has NOT remembered things he is supposed to remember (namely...turning in his danged assignments!) and his organization has been ATROCIOUS! And so...after a nice conversation with him today....and a bit of skillful bribery, I THINK I might have convinced Max and struck a deal with him, to at least TRY a course of the ADD medication and just SEE if it works. It might. Or it might not. In return for trying it...IF he comes right home and completes his homework, he can then earn up to ONE hour of t.v. each night. I figure either the medication will help significantly with the ADD issues and Max will become the sweet, orderly, manageable child I fantasize about him being...OR it won't help at all, and at least we will know that we tried what we could. And so....we head back again in a couple of weeks....and I daresay that I am hopeful that this might turn out okay for us. And that's what needs to happen. Seriously. Because boarding school costs $25,000 a year and quite frankly, Chris is more than a little reluctant to fork over that money in the name of my sanity! SOMETHING has GOT to give here!

Clara went to a birthday party tonight. So sweet. Six is such a fun age! It's so magical and silly and excited and dramatic. I just really enjoyed watching it all tonight. So many smiles and tickles and hugs and giggles. It was a grand time!

Tonight, when i got home from the party, I worked on my grocery list for the week coming. Big fun! I hate planning meals and what people will eat. And I am really struggling a bit because everything on my list has onions in it and neither Cindy or Kelly handle onions too well. And I LOVE onions! Grrrr, I think I can get it all figured outl And now...it is late and I am ready to collapse into bed. What a full and wonderful day!

15 Years Ago Today...

2008-12-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

I said "I do"...and the pastor pronounced us man and wife...till death do us part. We had NO idea what we were in for as we took each other by the hand and walked back down that aisle together as man and wife. Neither of us could ever have imagined. We could not have imagined just how bad it could be. How dark it could be. How frustrating. We could not have imagined how we would struggle financially or that we would live in a little crack house and be so proud of it. We could not have imagined that we would ever face some of the things that we have faced together. Most of all, we could never have imagined how much more we would possibly love each other 15 years later. How precious our marriage would be to us. How hard we would have fought to be here at this point. And how very blessed we would feel and how PROUD we would feel to be still standing here today....man and wife. Together. We have been SO very blessed, and God's hand has been upon us every step of the way...without a doubt. And I only hope I am fortunate enough to share another 15 years, and then another, and then another, with this incredible man that I am married to. Marriage....it's a GOOD thing!

Adventures in Parenting

2008-12-11T20:29:00.001-08:00

We had our big meeting with the pediatrician yesterday concerning Max and the possibility that he might have ADD. It would be putting it quite mildly to say that that appointment was a disaster. Max was extremely aggitated and upset over the thought of being diagnosed with ADD. So upset, that he developed a rash all over his neck and jawline...huge red splotches. Quite a stress response, for sure. I've NEVER seen that one before. He informed the doctor and Chris and I that ADD is a disease of "stupid people" and that he would have no part of it. DOES not have it. WON'T consider treatment in ANY shape form or fashion. He has everything "under control" and is perfectly capable of executing some fantastic grades here....without one bit of help from any of us. Awesome. The more we talked, the more upset he became. And I think the more convinced our pediatrician became that there might be a problem. That said...Max was less than cooperative. There is NO way he will meet us halfway (he's perfect you know) and NO WAY he will entertain the thought that he is anything less than perfect. No amount of discussion and reassuring and defining from the doctor would sway him. It was a lovely and fun visit. One of those where you really want to jump up and down and grab your kid and say "Oh yeah! This one's MINE!" NOT!!!!!! We are no closer to making progress with Max than we were a month ago. It's frustrating, to say the very least. The new plan of action...since Max is "totally in control" of things, is to totally step back and let him do his thing. He will either dazzle the heck out of us...or he will fail spectacularly. No more prompts. No more reminders. No help. He's got it all under control and needs NONE of that from us. So he says. Tonight, I told him to get his guitar and music up out of the living room and put away. He sat down and began to stack up his music. I went on to tuck in Clara and read her stories. When I came back downstairs, the guitar and all of his junk that goes with it was still sitting there. So I called his little "in control" hiney right back out of that bed he had settled into and asked what the deal was. I just wanted to know if he had had an ADD moment where he failed to concentrate on the task of cleaning up or if it was just an outright act of defiance. Because, believe me...I will gladly step right up and handle acts of outright defiance. There was an audible "Ummmmmm???" Because he was pretty much screwed either way. His response was "Let me think about that and get back to you." Nice. Very nice. Honestly...this whole step back thing and let him "be in control"...not so much for me. I've a short fuse for screw ups. And watching them unfold SO many times in a day with acute predictability....well. Suffice it to say that I, myself will probably need a lot of intensive therapy before this journey is over. At this point I am all for checking myself into the looney bin. I think a few weeks spaced out on some meds might be just what the doctor ordered! A nice padded room. A steady cocktail of sedatives. Some nice sitting around and playing checkers under the trees in a warm afternoon breeze. It's calling to me. And so...there's the update on life around the Roberts house. It's a wild ride here for the next few weeks. Pray for us!

December 5th

2008-12-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

Today has been an outstanding day. For many reasons. For one, I finally found a housekeeper who cleans like I like things cleaned. Gladys came recommended from a friend whom I treasure and adore and who I happen to know to be quite picky. She speaks even less english than I speak spanish...which is comical, truly! Gladys swept in this morning and by the time she left this afternoon there was clean and sparkle happening all over my house! And it was wonderful! She's a real bargain too! So I was doubly happy!!! While Gladys was working her magic on my very dirty house, I was working some magic on some photos! I did two days of shooting at Pusch Ridge last week. One day of girl's basketball JV and Varsity and one day of boys. So I had many, many pictures to edit and upload into packages! That ended up taking a huge chunk of my day. While I was editing and uploading pictures, I was also plugging load after load of laundry through the washer and dryer. In addition to my photo work, and the piles of laundry, I also got nice, fresh, new clean sheets on everyone's beds. By the time Gladys left today, I felt like I had a real handle on things for once! The house was clean AND my work was done. And it's a little piece of heaven to sit here tonight in all this cleanliness!

Practically the second the Gladys left, I had to go get the kids from school. It was SO tempting to just not let them inside! They are SO messy and my house is just SO clean today. But I did let them in with strict orders and death threats to any who dared to make even a tiny hint of mess! Luckily, there just wasnt' much time for them to be here because tonight was the Night of Lights Hayride at school. We headed down to Painted Sky and had a lovely, albeit very running behind time hayride and saw many VERY fine lights! It's like a mini Winterhaven there! We had great friends in our wagon and I think everyone really enjoyed the ride and the festivity of the evening. When the ride was over, we enjoyed hot chocolate and cookies and watched the Ironwood Ridge High Choral department perform. They always do such a spectacular job. All in all, it was such a delightful evening and a fantastic end to a great and productive day.

I feel like I might finally be catching a wee bit of Christmas spirit. It seems so very late in coming this year. I don't know why that is. I still don't know if the spirit is really upon me yet. But tonight I was truly struck with a spirit of thankfulness. Thankfulness for my good friends (wow, I have been blessed by my time with good friends this week!) and thankfulness for hayrides in the chilly night, thankfulness for neighborhoods who have so much spirit and cooperation and work so hard to make that spectacular light display! Thankfulness for hard working housekeepers and their quest to clean it my way! And thankfulness for the opportunity to get work done while the housekeeper takes care of the rest. Thankfulness for all the friends and warm hellos we ran into tonight at the hayride. And thankfulness for being able to sit around tonight in my clean house and just take it all in.

Tomorrow, I will wake up in my clean house and I will head to the gym with my hubby. I will think of my dear sweet friend Jenny who will most likely be home with her hubby eating donuts and relaxing and I will try to run an extra mile for her. Just kidding! It's every man for himself at that gym ! I'll run for me and me alone, fantasizing about all the results that I am sure to see. Just this week, while we were working with the personal trainer, the trainer says to me...I can tell you've lost weight in your back. And I was like...."Excuse me?" And I'm thinking "my BACK?!" SURELY you meant to say my BUTT!" But no. Apparently great leaps and bounds have been made in the area of my back. Wow. I don't even know what to say about that. That's like SO the very LAST area I would have listed on my "areas I want to improve" list. And yet. It seems to be the ONLY area worth commenting about 6 weeks later. Hmmmm. So THAT then leaves me to wonder...just how fat WAS my back? I mean. Back fat? Wow. I'm feeling self conscious now about fat I didn't even know that I had! Perhaps there's more. Lurking there somewhere....in secret. Maybe someone will come up to me soon and say, "Wow, your knee fat has really dropped. Those knees are looking real skinny now." Or maybe it will be my ears or my ankles or my chin. Some area that I am totally and completely oblivious to the fat content! It's like a whole retro active complex I've got now. Apparently...I'm not so much like that old song "Baby Got Back", because there's less of my back to love now. I suppose, that since that's my main arena of accomplishment that I should probably just start walking backwards everywhere I go. Had I known that I would achieve such stellar back achievements, I might have chosen a backless dress for the Christmas party tomorrow. Who knew? Oh well. I suppose improvement is improvement. No matter what it's form or location!

That's all for my day today. I am thinking that I need some sleep for sure now! Been running more than a little short here lately on that one!

Done

2008-11-28T21:18:00.001-08:00

I'm not even going to blog about it. Suffice it to say that I am DONE. Enough already. Finished. I simply will not go there again. The end. Thank you for listening to this little rant of mine.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T00:07:00.000-08:00

It is one a.m. and I am still sitting here like I have good common sense. I don't have to be up particulary early tomorrow (or rather, today!), as it IS Thanksgiving and I have no children to get off to school. But I DO have to get up and get to the gym because Jenny and I scheduled time with our personal trainer for Thanksgiving morning (it SEEMED like such a good idea at the time. Like we would both likely be sitting around with our feet propped up just soaking in a relaxing Thanksgiving day!) I have stayed up tonight cooking chicken enchiladas and Puerco Pibil, from scratch, for tomorrow's Thanksgiving feast. Did you catch that? FROM SCRATCH???!!! I pretty much do nothing from scratch. I'm not much of a scratcher, so to speak! No thank you. Pass the shortcuts! But tonight, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I prepared two dishes from scratch. Very, VERY scratch. And they are finally done and in the fridge, waiting for their debut tomorrow as the Thanksgiving feast! And now I need to get to bed. Like NOW. LIke, at least an hour ago. But I couldn't resist logging on here and just saying Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so much this year I would not even know where to start. Of course, I am so thankful for my three sweet kids. And my wonderful husband. I'm thankful for awesome friends and wonderful workout partners. I am thankful for personal trainers and that peanut butter m&m's have 4 grams of protein in them! I am thankful for the desert and for rainbows over the desert when it rains. I am thankful for good friends that will share a feast with us tomorrow and I am thankful for our life here in the desert. Truly. I am so thankful for our last four years here. I am thankful that I have people who love me and that I have people that I really and truly and truly love. I am thankful for the gift of talent in photography and for the gift of clients who entrust me with the task of capturing some of their sweetest moments (and not so sweet!). I am thankful for so many things and for so many people in my life. And I am SO thankful that I have to get off of this computer because nearly every minute of my day tomorrow is packed with wonderful friends and family who love me. I am so blessed to know so many wonderful people. Have you counted your blessings today? Really and truly stopped and thought about each of the tiniest, yet so significant, ways that we are all so blessed. May your Thanksgiving be grand and wonderful. Gobble, gobble and many thanks to you all!

ADD?

2008-11-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

Maxwell continues to frustrate me to no end. It's hard to say if he's just being belligerent at this point or if there is something going on for real that we aren't tapping into yet. It occurred to me last night, after MANY many reminders and prompts to get his homework done and MANY many starts and stops on that homework, that perhaps he just can't focus on his task. I was literally ready to strap the child into his chair at one point. His homework took FOREVER! And so I started wondering if maybe there's more to it. Maybe there IS something wrong with him and it's more than just his own teenage hormones and disorganization? When I mentioned it to Chris he told me not to be too quick to give him an excuse. And I don't want to be. Just out of curiosity though, I looked up the attention deficit disorder checklist to see...just out of curiosity if Max's behaviors would place him in that category. A VERY QUICK glance at the questionaire had these things popping out instantly at me!

A child who is chronically disorganized, has difficulty remembering, consistently loses things or waits until the last minute to complete homework or projects may also suffer from ADD. (That one sentence right there pretty much sums up my Max!)

Poor handwriting, often prints

Poor writing skills (hard to get information from brain to pen)

Tendency to be immature

Failure to see others' needs or activities as important

Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started

Starting projects but not finishing them, poor follow through

Spends excessive time at work because of inefficiencies

Inconsistent work performance

Poor organization and planning, trouble maintaining an organized work/living area

Chronically late or chronically in a hurry

Often have piles of stuff

Easily overwhelmed by tasks of daily living

Some adults with ADD are very successful, but often only if they are surrounded with people who organize them. (Max is HEAVILY dependent on me organizing him these days!)

Has to be moving in order to think (the child cannot carry on a conversation sitting down. He PACES back and forth as he talks to you.)

Short attention span, unless very interested in something

Easily distracted, tendency to drift away (although at times can be hyper focused)

Lacks attention to detail, due to distractibility

Trouble listening carefully to directions

Frequently misplaces things

History of not living up to potential in school or work (report cards with comments such as "not living up to potential")

Well...it certainly SOUNDS as if Maxwell might be a candidate. But he's mighty sassy these days also! So maybe he is just being a stinker. I do think that it's worth checking into and talking it over with his doctor. The only thing that would be troubling to me is why NOW? How is it that he has managed to do so well to this point? Even in this current school year (his first quarter wasn't stellar, but it wasn't awful either). This is something new and improved to be pondered here in this head of mine! Going to chew on it for a bit.

Just so ya'll know!

2008-11-18T07:19:00.000-08:00

I wrote our family Christmas letter last night! Yep! All finished! Done! Finito! All that's left is to take it by office depot and smack it onto some fun holiday paper and the Roberts family Christmas card project will officially be airborne! Whoo Hoo! Cards are ordered already and most of the packages are wrapped and ready for dispatch to their rightful recipients. They would ALL be wrapped, but my dear little 6 year old is really embracing the artist in herself lately and has managed to use up ALL of my tape! Packing AND scotch! And so...there's a target pit stop between me and project completion! Ahhhh. The end is so close now!

Projects!

2008-11-16T21:28:00.000-08:00

The past week or so has been full of projects in the Roberts House! For starters..the boy's have had a complete new bedroom makeover! We moved Maxwell back into Ben's room officially. He sleeps in there 9 out of 10 nights anyway and watches T.V. in there and plays all of his video games in there. Pretty much the only thing he does in his own room is get dressed and make messes. And so...in an effort to contain and control the chaos, we put both muchachos back into the same room. Part of that deal was ordering some new furniture, a complete new paint job, new bedding and all sorts of other fun. And so...here are the BEFORE pictures...

And after MUCH work and hard labor...and I DO mean MUCH! HERE is the finished room...all transformed into the new "cool" teen hideaway!

The boys seen to be thrilled with their new hangout and are enjoying their new space immensely. They are even making attempts to keep it semi-clean. And I will use the word "clean" very loosely here. VERY loosely! But it's a start! Hey...a mom will take whatever she can get!

In the process of this whole room transformation, I also found myself helping my dear friend Gillian move into HER new house. And we got to spend a lively afternoon unpacking boxes and doing the chit chat thing. And there is just something powerful about seeing everything in that brand new, everything put away in it's place for the very first time kind of state. And I got to thinking that I wanted that look again in my own house! And so, the "Great Purge of 2008" began. It started in my own closet. Then progressed out into my bedroom. Then into the family room, the kitchen, the game cabinets, the drawers, the garage cabinets, etc. It's like a giant tidal wave of JUNK was just washed out of my house! And it is SUCH a wonderful feeling! My garage is currently so full of boxes of things to go to Goodwill that I can't even park in there! And some of the boxes are now so heavy to pick up that it has become Chris's project because I just can't do it now! I need a bumper stick that says "I came, I cleaned, I conquered!" It's a happy day here in the Roberts house...yessirree! I still have Clara's room to do. THAT should be a fun one! But I'm all over that one this week and then we are DONE and SO ready for the holidays!

Picture business is great! I am spending LOTS and lots of time outside at the canyon these days. Many an evening enjoying the last light of the day out there! The weather has been so delightful! I really can't complain!

Max continues to be a challenge with school. He got put on a "check" system this week and was NONE too happy about it. He told me he was pretty much GUARANTEED to fail now because he simply was going to. He spouted out all sorts of reasons why this system of accountability is so stupid, etc. I simply said to him "Pick up thy shovel, stubborn child of mine...and dig, dig, dig your hole! Dig it hard and dig it fast...then preparest thyself to lie in it! And complainest NOT to me because you insisted on making bad choices! (Oh...and by the way...I'll send you a postcard from the beach where the REST of us will be enjoying our summer while YOU do a stint in summer school!)" He seemed to simmer down a bit after sleeping on it for a night or two. This weekend was relatively free of his complaints and threats of failing. We'll just have to see what the next couple of weeks hold for him and if his grades start to rebound any. I can tell Ben is getting anxious and tired of being grounded. He acts like he doesn' t care one bit. BUT...he has assured me all weekend that he HAS been working so much harder and HAS been making efforts and that his grades ARE better and that he has brought up his averages. BUT...to his dismay his teacher has NOT updated grades in forever...so I have no real proof of this. And so until I SEE that there is improvement...his status is officially grounded! Ben has checked grades at least 5 times this weekend hoping his teacher will have posted the new grades. But alas...nothing is there! Oh the lessons these young ones have to learn!

That's about it for what's happening at our house. Projects, projects and lots more projects! Still more to come! Lots to do and little time before the holidays arrive! I am pleased to report that 85% of the Christmas shopping is DONE. Not only done, but is wrapped. Not only wrapped, but is packed into boxes and is ready to SHIP! Post office, here I come! My Christmas cards got ordered TONIGHT! And I am READY for the delights of winter! Bring it on!

Pondering

2008-11-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

I am pondering many a thing tonight. Life changing kind of ponderings. For one...I am thinking about not being a photographer any more. That's one. I mean...I guess I will always be a photographer. In some sense. But then...anyone who has a camera and pushes the button to snap a picture, is, in a very real sense, a photographer. But I guess I am thinking that I will no longer be a "professional" photographer. For one...these darned props are overrunning my house! For another...well.... maybe it's just this time of year... I don't know. But especially now, I feel like there are NO creative juices flowing really. It's just family after family looking solely for the obligatory Christmas card photo. I feel like it's right about now that I really lose that connection with my families. With my subjects. And I cease to really create something beautiful for them. But rather just stamp out the same old, same old. Honestly, I have two "new" photo locations on my calendar for this month. They are the ONLY two appointments that really excite or interest me in the least. That...and the fact that both of these appointments are friends and long time clients (Well...as long as they CAN be when you've only been in business for two years!). So there is a connection there with both of these families. And the change of location is a plus also. Often times, after I work with a family, I can stand back and really see some "magic" there in that session...something different and awesome. But these days...the magic just seems to be missing. It all seems so cookie cutter to me. I think another factor is that my business has grown so much over this past year, that I am working with so many NEW people who are strangers to me. When I first started out, I worked mostly with my friends. But now I have more "stranger" clients than friend clients. In some ways it's wonderful. But I also find it somehow lonely and less fulfilling. Honestly, it's SO tempting to clear out ALL of my props...my backdrops, my lights, my TWO huge cabinets full of nonsense things out in the garage. To pack away my angel wings and tutus and pearls and what not and just have my house...back to normal. Back to "BEFORE". I'm sure that Chris would totally rejoice in not having my constant disaster of a studio to deal with. I talked to him about it tonight. We both agreed that it's not about the money. It's been nice to have a little bit of my very own money...but honestly...anyone who knows me knows that I am a TERRIBLE business person and have probably only made a fraction of what I should have. Bottom line is that I don't need the money. And that's a good thing because I am so terrible at collecting it! I realized today that I rarely take pictures of my own kids anymore. I just dont. And it's not because I'm busy or don't have the time. It's because somewhere along the way, taking pictures has become a job...and not just a passion and hobby. My pictures of my kids come to a screeching halt about two years ago. Oh...there are some shots here and there. But really,...my own kids are largely undocumented. And I am not sure that I am okay with that. So that's one pondering.

My other pondering is over my kids. And this one directly links back to my photography. Max is doing so poorly in school right now. WHY that is, is yet to be determined. As far as I can tell it is pure disorganization and Max's own disjointed and chaotic thinking patterns. He IS a Roberts boy after all. But here lately, I often find myself thinking that if there were less on my own plate, perhaps I could help him more. Maybe...maybe not. I don't know. But right now, today, tonight...I feel like my photography is almost too much to juggle on top of trying to get Max straightened out.

When Chris and I talked about it tonight, Chris could not deny that he too, would love to see that studio room all neat and clean and maybe NOT so much a studio. He reminded me that it wasn't about the money. Of course, I already knew that. But then he said that he really thought I had an eye and a talent for it. And that I should keep developing it. But find a way to do it in a way that didn't present so many problems for me. And if appointments and what not bother me...then cut those and just focus on the photography for the sake of the photography itself. I'm not sure that appointments bother me, mind you. But it's nice to know I have his support in shutting this venture down if that is the conclusion that I come to. I still have a lot of pondering to do on this subject for sure.

I guess that's all I'm pondering really. I've been in a purging mode. I have been cleaning out closets and end tables, drawers and cabinets for a week now. Chris said that if he didn't know better, he would worry that I was "nesting". I'm certainly NOT nesting. I'm NOT expecting. I just want to feel some semblance of control and neatness in my life. And I am purging each and every area that proves itself to be unnecessary. Nothing but the bare minimum! That's my motto. If I don't REALLY need it...then it's OUTTA HERE! Goodwill....here we come!

And THOSE are my thoughts of the day!

Friday

2008-11-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

It's now Friday night. And I'm tired...so here are the highlights of the past couple of days.

Yesterday was training session #4 with the personal trainer. As always, she had a lovely workout planned for us. It was awesome and fun. And funny. It's always fun working out with Jenny. There was a lot of LOUD construction work going on in the gym yesterday, so we spent a good bit of the time yelling at each other. After the work was all done, we went upstairs to test in on our bodyfat and have ourselves a little talk about diet and nutrition. My bodyfat had only gone down by 1%. A little improvement...but apparently NOT what I should have achieved in this time. Which was the jumping off point for our little diet discussion (WHICH Jenny conveniently skipped out on!). The results of that discussion? Well...there was no good news. Apparently I don't even get half of the protein I am supposed to be eating....which apparently could be a HUGE factor in why I'm not able to convert this fat to muscle. Despite much working out. Also deficient was my fiber. And so I have my task before me...to eat more protein and fiber. And less fat (AKA Tootsie Rolls! Those darned things are just so addictive!). So that then, brings us to today!

This morning I got the kids all off to school and then went to Kohl's to exchange a jacket. Then I dropped a ton of stuff off at Goodwill. THEN I went to Fry's to grocery shop. I will mention here that I am accomplishing all of this with some SERIOUSLY sore bicep muscles! OUCH! Had to shop for my fiber and protein you know. After I got home from all of that I choked down some All Bran cereal and Soy Milk (EWWWWW!). Then I went and picked up Ben (today was his birthday!). Then I had a photo shoot. Then I took my birthday boy to lunch at Chili's. And I can proudly say that I was a good girl at Chili's. While I watched my son enthusiastically devour a big mouth bacon burger and pile of french fries, I myself enjoyed some grilled salmon, broccoli and black beans. Yummy. Well...you know. Yummy-ish. It was no bacon burger, I can tell ya that! Then it was time to pick up Clarabelle from school. Her little friend came home with us to play today. They were VERY busy creating great masterpieces while I edited the photos from today's shoot. Then, it was time for Daddy to come home and dinner to be fixed. Only noone was really hungry. I had another wonderful protein shake for dinner. Can I just say that I am SO stuffed of protein, I don't think I will be able to eat another bite for a week or two? This protein eating business is tough! Anyway. It's late and I am tired and I am very ready to curl up in my bed for the night!

Tomorrow, I will tell you all about the birth of my sweet boy, Benjamin and how I lived to tell about it!

Tuesday

2008-11-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

Today was a busy day (like there is ever any other kind!). I hit the gym bright and early this morning with Jenny. We did our workout from the personal trainer. That was fun. Then I hit the showers at the gym and went and met Chris at the mall for our little "bling" shopping trip. We struck out there and could not agree on anything. They had sold the one piece that we had really liked before hand and then they started hard selling some other stuff. NOT a favorite tactic of mine. When the sales lady pointed out a particular diamond that was "lovely" as she put it...with a price tag of just over $30,000, Chris balked a little bit. At that point she reminded him that it was an exquisite diamond. At which point Chris pointed out that it was also a BMW. By then the situation was just spiraling in a direction we just weren't going in...and everyone seemed to know it EXCEPT the sales lady. My, oh my, but she DID have some BIG plans for my fingers and Chris' money! Finally, we extracted ourselves from her and headed out to lunch. And then did a little more looking somewhere else and came out with something just lovely. Certainly NOT in the BMW price category! LOL! Not even in the Volkswagon Beetle bug category...but something we both loved just the same. So that part of the day was a success! Happy Anniversary to Me! A whole month early at that!

Then I got all my little ducklings picked up and settled at home. We did homework and practiced their spelling words. Then I had a photo shoot in the canyon at 5:00. It went quite well. Tonight's family is just so sweet and they were unbelievably cooperative. We were done in a matter of minutes. NO small feat considering they have FOUR little ones! That can sometimes be quite a challenge. But they all did so perfectly and smiled every time I asked. There was no whining and no crying and no fussing or complaining. They were total angels. Mommy and Daddy were good too! They had several great choices for pictures this year and to make it even better...they had their photo for their Christmas cards AND their card design selected within the first 30 minutes of receiving their gallery. OUTSTANDING! I was just so thrilled with them!

After the photo session, I ran into the new Wal-Mart here by the house and bought Max some new folders for school. I also made him go through his backpack when he got home today. As I suspected, none of his folders were actually in use...though they looked like they were on their last legs. Max much prefers the system of just cramming all of his papers loose into his backpack. Then is surprised when he can't find anything. While digging through that pack, he found TWO of his missing assignments. Work he had completed and was ready to be turned in. Yet, because it was in a ball in the bottom of his backpack, he instead had a ZERO. So hopefully, he can turn those two in tomorrow for at least half credit? We'll see. Anyway. Bought him some new folders. Not that I really expect him to use them. But at least I know that as his mother, I did my part! While we were at the super Wal Mart, I also was able to get Max's hair cut. He looks so cute right now! So now all of my wee ones are all nicely trimmed and ready for me to take their picture for our OWN Christmas card! I've scheduled myself for Saturday! Perhaps we can actually make it happen!

Then after all of that, I came home...bathed the wee ones, watched a little of the depressing election. Kept getting a bit distracted by my new anniversary bauble there on my left hand! Hee hee! And now...it is 10:00 and I am feeling the effects of this day and am thinking it's about time to call it a night! And so...I'm calling it. Good night!

Monday

2008-11-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

Today was a bit out of the norm, as far as Monday's go. For one...on Saturday morning, I had a pretty major back/shoulder spasm that has had me ALL out of whack all weekend long. This one has been WAY painful and none of the usual tricks have worked at all on the situation. I have retreated many times to my massage chair to no avail. Chris made some, yet still precious little progress on massaging it out. And it has been very much at the forefront of my mind since bright and early Saturday morning. Which is why I chose to skip my step class this morning. Somehow, the idea of jumping around and stepping all up and down just didn't really set well with me and my pain in the neck. So instead, I walked Ben and Clara to school with Oscar. Then came home and, with my fingers crossed, put in a call to the chiropractor. Luckily, the fates were on my side today and I had just enough time to get a quick shower and slide into his office. Not the most fun visit I can recall having. There was definitely some pain and discomfort involved in putting things back where they belong today. The doctor said things would be sore for a day or so after this adjustment...and boy...he wasn't just whistling dixie! My shoulder blade area is throbbing tonight. A double dose of Aleve and a second glass of wine have done little to dull the pain. I am hoping to just wake up a whole new lady tomorrow morning. Because I have a lot to do tomorrow. And this pain in the neck would be...well...a real pain in my neck to have to deal with tomorrow! My friend, Pooh and I, have some serious workout stuff to do tomorrow. And then....well. THEN, I am meeting my hubby for lunch and a jewelry show to do a little bling hunting. 15 years of marital bliss is just around the corner for us now! You got to love that! But that's tomorrow! Back to today!

After I got myself all newly adjusted and straightened out, I came home and did about a hundred loads of laundry (seriously...three can really seem like a hundred sometimes!) and got ready for my dear little friend Sarah to come and play. Sarah is nearly two and is just a little joy. Today was moving day for her family, and so she was coming to my house for a little nap while her dear mom and dad directed the movers and shuffled all the boxes to their correct locations. This arrangement has worked quite well in the past. However...today was different. Apparently, Miss Sarah was simply too excited to take a good, REAL nap like her mother was hoping for. She slept BARELY an hour...maybe not even a whole hour...and was then up and about babbling nonstop about a "mo mo", a "cher" and a "kurt". Her dear mommy was kind enough to translate that to be an old beat up "Elmo" "Chair" and a shopping "cart". Awesome! Miss Sarah was a nonstop babble of "mo mo"s a d "kurts" and "chers"...and of course...."daddies". She was a sweet little doll. A bit mischievous by the normal Sarah standards...but still a sweetheart. She proceeded to nearly unpot one of my plants out front while I pumped up the tires on the jog stroller (LOL! LIke my plants need any tiny bit more abuse than they already suffer at my own hands!). She flipped over Oscar's water...then proceeded to slip down right into the puddle she made! She was none to happy about being wet...but alas...these are the consequences of two year old mischief. She LOVES the fact that my computer keyboard is so nice and easily within her reach. Oh....and I am pretty sure she called China on the cordless phone. I was finally able to distract her with some Curious George. I no longer really own any Barney or any of the other myriad of shows she requested. But she seemed happy enough with the tail end of Max and Ruby and then Curious George. She was thrilled to be returned to her mother and on the way to "mo mo" and "kurt" bliss. I only hope their evening went well after the little miss boycotted the nap!

Once Sarah was gone, I had to pick up Ben from his first Odyssey of the Mind meeting. He seemed to have had a really good time and is really excited about the team he is on and their problem that they have to solve. I only hope it lasts and that the good vibes will continue. Ben is my quitter and this is something that he simply cannot quit. It might just END for him if his team does not do well in January's competition and fails to move on to the state level. But for now, he is excited and pumped up and ready to take it all on. Let's just pray that it lasts.

Finally tonight...there was a quick pasta dinner, I got two HUGE $400 plus picture orders uploaded...oh....and my November calendar is dangerously close to be totally BOOKED! ALL appointments full. Booked. The end! It's pretty exciting...in a wacky, scary, stressful way.

Oh...and I also e-mailed each of Max's teachers to find out what exactly is going on his classes and where exactly my dear oldest is dropping the ball so badly. Hopefully, by the weeks end we will have some answers. In the meantime....both boys remained totally and completely, deeply, DEEPLY grounded. It's a sad state of affairs to be a Roberts boy in this house at this time.

And finally...dear hubby breaks the news over dinner tonight that he will be galavanting in Europe on business while I celebrate 15 years of marital bliss at home...ALONE. Awesome. Outstanding. Lovely. You got to love the timing of those husbands!

Flunking

2008-11-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

My oldest son is doing an absolutely stellar job of flunking himself out of school right now. His teacher sent an e-mail that the latest batch of grades had been posted online. So I logged on and checked. I love that feature of the middle school! And low and behold he had C's in the first two classes I looked in on. My curiosity at that point took over and I proceeded to look up all of his other classes. I was NOT happy to see those two C's. However...I was REALLY, REALLY not happy to see two D's in other classes. And I nearly went THROUGH THE ROOF when I found out he had an F in his reading class. Lovely. Just lovely. Outstanding. I will just take this moment to say how much I love raising three gifted children. Life with them is always just such an adventure. And so. Mommy is now VERY, very cranky tonight. VERY. Maxwell is in more trouble than he has pretty much ever been in in his life to date. And I get to spend this next week e-mailing all of his teachers and trying to figure out exactly what it is that my boy is doing (or rather, ISN'T doing) to get himself flunked. There is NO good news in the Roberts house tonight. Max is grounded...just for the record. Many of you may not be catching even a glimpse of him now for many, many moons. He may well be a grown man next you see him because he is heavily grounded for just about that long. At the rate he is going, he may well be a very grown man STILL trying to pass the 7th grade. And on that note...that's just about all I have to say about that tonight.

Quoting Annie

2008-11-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

A while back, Clara got some new boots. Clara LOVES boots, and I knew that she would love these. I also knew that she would be begging to wear them daily. And so I told her that she could wear them starting November 1st. AT THE TIME... way back when... that seemed an eternity away. Far enough away that SURELY it would be nice and chilly and appropriate weather for boots. Especially since these particular boots are suede and fur lined and fur trimmed and have these fun furry pop poms dangling from them. This morning, Clara walks into the kitchen and announces that TODAY is November 1st and proceeds to remind me what that means fashion wise.

Cut to our summer road trips to Zion and to San Diego. When we take these big long trips, we usually stock up on a few new movies...something the kids haven't seen. It buys us a good hour to an hour and a half of peace at a time on the road. Well usually. Among this summer's batch was the movie Annie. This one did NOT bring so much peace. The boys moaned and complained that they were being tortured. Of course. They also refused to remove their headphones and just play their video games while Clara watched. No. They had to comment on every other thing. And complained nonstop that there was just so much music. (Well, DUH! It's a MUSICAL for Pete's sake!) Anyway. The boys were in hell. Clara was in heaven. It was lovely. With all the music Clara was TRULY in the zone...hanging on every word. Memorizing every word and song.

Back to today. Our fashion discussion continues. I explained that the temperature was still quite warm and not quite boots weather. And I proceeded to look up the weather on the computer. (Because my girl requires facts!) That's when I learned of "the big chill" coming our way later in the upcoming week. And so I was able to tell Clara that this week she could start wearing them on these days. And she was thrilled. And proceeded to tell me that she would be wearing them every day. Well. Of course, I had to remind her that we wouldn't wear them EVERY day. But definitely with the outfits that would look cute. And that not EVERY outfit was really a boots kind of outfit. And then...in all of her six year old wisdom my daughter begins to spout quotes from that lovely, movie from the summer, Annie. And she looks right at me and says "Mommy, you know, just like it says in Annie, it doesn't matter what you wear." Translation... "I have every intention of wearing those boots each and every day until the heat of next summer sets in fully and completely and I don't care WHAT you consider to be cute or lovely. It's boots or bust!" Ah...musicals are such wonderful things to show your children. If you think that I am kidding about this, you can just scroll back through this blog to Clara's preschool days. There is a lovely picture of her in a precious little spring outfit... and her brown boots. When my girl sets her mind to something, it's not easy to change. And definitely not worth arguing about sometimes. And so...game on. Here come the boots! Brace yourselves! I know that I am. Let this blog serve as my official fashion disclaimer!

Personal Training- Session #3

2008-10-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

OUCH. That's pretty much the tune I am singing this morning. Yesterday, Jenny and I met with our personal trainer for session number three. Debra was set on "pushing us" more yesterday than on the other sessions. And so...game on. Jenny and I are always up for a good push session. We aren't afraid of a little sweat and muscle. Actually, I think Jenny's words when we hired the personal trainer were something like "I want to be worked so hard that I have to crawl out of that gym on my hands and knees." Well, friend Pooh...careful what you wish for. Because every now and then you just might get it! I'd say that yesterday was pretty much one of the toughest workouts I have personally ever encountered. For quite a bit of time I was pretty convinced that my butt muscles and hamstrings might be permanently seized up. I was thinking I might be having to seek some medical attention for them. Just so you know...they are NOT still seized up. They hurt like the dickens and I vastly prefer to A) sit and NOT get up or B) stand and NOT sit down. As long as I do one or the other it's all good. But if I actually engage those muscles in any way, then vivid memories of yesterday's workout come flooding into my behind and I want to sit down and cry. Or actually...just stand very still and cry without using my butt muscles to do it! So that's the muscle group that is singing the loudest tune to me this morning. For sure! Also present and accounted for are my chest muscles. Nothing else really hurts too badly. Thank goodness. These glutes are painful enough! So yesterday's workout was just grueling. And so naturally, Jenny and I signed on for ANOTHER four! Please Debra...we can still walk. Hit us with another one! All I can say is that I had BETTER be skinny after all of this.

Volunteering...because I have lots of time for that!

2008-10-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

I came across a new charity tonight as I was trying to figure out why one of my main processing websites is down (24 hours now!). I was scoping their forum to see if anyone was mentioning the downed site, or if maybe the site just hates me in particular this past day. The organization is called The Littlest Hero Project. It's a charity that does free portrait sessions for children who are battling a life threatening disease and are the little heroes of their families. Looking at the pictures on the website had my heart just melting and before I could even think about it for a second, I volunteered my services. You can check out the organization by visiting http://www.thelittlestheroesproject.org. I cannot imagine being a parent of a child with cancer, or any other life threatening disease. And watching that process of treatment. Having ZERO guarantees that my child will walk away from it at all. Not knowing how many days are left with my baby. It hits me in a way that I cannot begin to convey here in words. But only in actions. And so I volunteered. I have come to the conclusion a good while ago, that I cannot change what life deals to people. I cannot change God's plans or what He has in store for families. But I CAN provide those families with tangible memories. With a way to remember their sweet babies faces, or their children's smiles. I can provide something to pull out when they just need a moment to remember because maybe the memory isn't as clear...isn't as etched on their brains as they thought it might stay forever. I cannot change anything for these families. But I can put pictures in their hands. And while it isn't much. And it certainly isn't a child. And is in NO WAY a substitute for that child. It's something to hold on to. And it's what I can do. I have said from the start that this photography talent is a total fluke. I did not grow up with cameras. At all. Never even had one of my own until I was in college. And it was a point and shoot. I've never had a class and noone to show me. It's been a total God thing from the start. Well...God, and a couple of really fantastic people pushing and believing in me. Anyway. This talent...it's bigger than me. It didn't come from me. It is NOT something that I have cultivated. I am often times SO amazed when I sit back and look at a photo shoot that I did and I marvel that ANY of those images came from me. And so I feel strongly that since it's not my talent, but God's, then it's not mine to keep for myself. But is a talent to be shared with others. With no gain for myself. I have found these sessions, in the past to be the most rewarding and the ones where I learn the most about God and who He is and His provision. It's those sessions where I am able to really be thankful on a level that I could never have before previously imagined. And it's those sessions that sometimes really mean the most to people. Tis better to give than to receive. I'm not the best businesswoman. Giving things away comes way too easy to me. But these portraits, I truly give from the heart. I am excited to meet the littlest heroes of Tucson. And let God work through my camera to preserve some amazing memories for them.

Moments With Clara

2008-10-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

Clara came into the kitchen this morning, very discouraged and frustrated, seeking my help. She told me that she wanted to read all about the nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue, but could not locate it. And I'm thinking...WHAT? It was at about that time that I turned around and realized that she was holding the latest edition of Newsweek magazine. And the headlines read in big orange letters, "Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue". Hmmm. Only my kids, right?! I then had the task of explaining that Pennsylvania Avenue is where the White House is and that is where the president lives and that the nightmare they were referring to had to do with politics and the election. Clara listened to all of that...seemed to weigh what I had said. For a moment I think maybe she didn't believe me. That she thought maybe I was holding out on her. Keeping the "nightmare" article a big secret. Then she looked disappointed, because clearly, my girl was ready to dig in and explore this big nightmare that someone was having. She gave the magazine in her hand one long, last look, then tossed it aside and went skipping on out into her day.

Then this afternoon, we were out rollerskating. This is something Clara desperately wants to get good at. She is asking for roller skating lessons in fact. (Like we have time for another class in our schedule!) And while she was frustrated, she refused to give up. She just keeps on wobbling and swaying and rocking and fumbling right along. It's not a graceful dance to watch! That's for sure. Yesterday, when I tried to help her, I nearly lost a toe in the effort. Luckily, I have 9 others, and they will keep me going while this 10th one recovers from being totally rolled over time after time! While we were skating down the sidewalk, or at least, attempting to, Clara made the comment that she was determined to master this. That no matter how many times she fell down she was "going to persevere". Big words for little girls! Lately, it seems Clara is forever blowing me away with her ever expanding vocabulary. There have been several instances over the past few days where something she has said has totally caught me off guard by how complex or advanced it seemed for her age. I've been left standing there thinking "Wow! All my kids really are much smarter than I am...already!" You've got to love moments like that. Moments that just leave you humble and less than bright feeling. Yet overjoyed to know that you donated your very last brain cell in order that these little ones could, indeed be so very bright and precocious! Lots of that precocious stuff going on in our house these days!

I'm Cracking

2008-10-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

Caving, giving in, crumbling under the pressure. My name is Tonya Roberts and I am a yesaholic! That's right. It's not even November yet and I have already given away TWO of my gym mornings to do pictures for people. One of those mornings is even my COMBAT morning, which I practically love more than life itself. I sat myself down way back a while ago and had a good long talk with myself. And myself and I sat some VERY clear boundaries as far as what I would and would NOT do this photography season. What sacrifices I would and would NOT make. Yessirree. I did that. And then...somehow. Over the course of the past week, I keep catching myself doing things schedulewise that are CLEARLY not within the terms I set forth! What is WRONG with me???!!!! Why can I not just say to someone, "I'm sorry, but the appointment time you suggested is simply not available."? And then suggest another time more convenient to ME?! WHY is that so hard for me? Oi vey! I have simply got to get a handle on this. LIke NOW! On average , right now I am scheduling 2 to 3 appointments each day. My weekend, canyon spots are nearly full. Only three of those left. And once those are gone, everyone else will have to filter into my weekdays! And I NEED to find some strength! I need to find my NO voice. The one that will stand up and protect my morning gym time. Because if I don't make it into the gym...I will go absolutely freaking nuts! My gym is my sanity link. It's the place I set things right in my head. It's the place I set goals and attempt to sweat them out. It's the place I see some of my dearest friends. It's my social connection. My sweat connection. My get in the groove connection. It's the place I walk in feeling blah and walk out feeling like I could TOTALLY kick some butt (at least on Combat days!). It' s my happy place. And so...this week, I am practicing "JUST SAY NO". It's my mantra. My motto. My goal. And so...I sit here before you today, and admit that I, Tonya Roberts, am a yesaholic. It is a sickness. A disease. But I pledge to stay on the wagon this week. I WILL say no. Thank you for listening!

Weekend Reflections

2008-10-26T22:32:00.001-07:00

This weekend has just flown by! I think it was over before it ever really started! It was a really busy one. Friday night, the kids and I just enjoyed being at home for once. We seem to spend pretty much every afternoon and/or evening on the go, that it is just wonderful to lay around and not be rushing off anywhere. And so, that's exactly what we did! Chris was off in the woods of Northern Arizona hunting. So it was just me and wee crew. On Saturday morning I was up bright and early for an 8 a.m. photo shoot...which was terrific. Or at least I thought it was. Chris didn't really like some of my artistic creations...but what does he know? The pictures were cool and I liked them. After my photo couple left, I dashed off to the gym with Clara. I had to work extra hard and extra quick because I only had childcare until noon. So...no cardio for me. Just weights downstairs. Since Jenny and I started working with the personal trainer, I have this unbelievable guilt about not getting in to the gym to do my workout. I had hoped to squeeze in some cardio on my treadmill when I got home...but I was just too tired. AND I had another family coming at 4:00 for their pictures. That session was a riot. It was hilariously funny, extremely humbling, frustrating on every single front...yet managed to yield some VERY lovely pictures all the same. I was holding my breath when my friend Gillian came to look at them. I had no idea what she would think when she saw them. But she was pleasantly surprised and thrilled that she actually had a few to choose from. Honestly, when the session was over, none of us walked away with too high of hopes that anything awesome had been captured. I was acutely disappointed to tell you the truth, because her kids are just so darned cute! But when it was all said and done and I ran those pictures across the screen, there were some really, really nice ones. The thing Gillian was after the most was a great picture of her girls together for a photo necklace. And that was totally accomplished! The necklace was designed and ordered before she walked out the door! The session was indeed a success! Satuday night, once all the excitement of the day was done, I had one heck of a migraine brewing. Contrary to what Gillian thought, she and her lovely two year old did NOT bring it on. It had been threatening a good part of the day by the time the "great two year old encounter" happened. And so I ended up tucking myself into bed rather early last night in hopes of taming the migraine before it really , REALLY got away from me. I woke up feeling like a new person this morning. Clara and I headed off to the gym for the BodyCombat launch. SO fun this new one. And SO hard! WOW! I was totally exhausted when all of that was said and done. Then i quickly showered and dressed and we headed down to Jackie's house for lunch. We had some seriously yummy steaks on the grill. I mean YUMMY! And then it was time to come home for a short while...show Gillian her pictures...then take Clara down to a birthday party at Pump it up! While Clara was partying, Chris and I had a bit of a date. Short and sweet. We walked around the mall...scoped out some 15th anniversary bling. Boy is Chris a picky one! My goodness! And before we knew it, it was time to pick up our princess from her party. Then we headed home. Chris picked up some Quizno's subs for us for dinner and then we all watched Heroes together. And then...it was that wonderful time of night...when the house is totally quiet. And there is a peace over the home that is just golden. And it shall remain that way....at least for another 7 hours until Chris' alarm goes off! Well...there's the weekend all laid out!

Oh...and on another note. We took poor Oscar to the groomer last week. Let's just say that the clippers were not especially kind to him this time. I have no real idea what happened to him in there...but he did NOT come out cute this time. We usually just adore him at haircut time because he is so cute. But believe me when I tell you that there is NOTHING cute about Oscar this time! NOTHING. To top it all off, in addition to his ugly haircut, he is developing some odd black spots on his back. And the hair there is quite coarse. Much different from the rest of him! It's really not a pretty look he has going. Love his little heart. He's just a little bit ugly right now.

Shooting Something Amazing

2008-10-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today's maternity shoot was...amazing. My mom to be was gorgeous. She was sweet. Her husband was so supportive and willing to jump right in there with her and make these portraits just beautiful. It was a fantastic session and their pictures just reflect so much love and anticipation. I am so happy with them. Thrilled really. I was hoping to shoot something amazing today...and I think there are a few really nice ones in her gallery!

On another note...my session involving a certain two year old...whom I happen to love and adore SO completely...not so amazing. My dear little two year old friend would have just NONE of it. She was SO not down with the whole photo shoot thing. AT ALL. She is here all the time, loves to be here (or at least she DID, before we did these photos), and is totally and completely comfortable here in our house. Which is exactly why when she was confined to one small room, without her favorite stroller or all the other things she adores...the red flag went up immediately and she was OUTTA there! It was a battle every step of the way. I was able to steal some heads and cut and paste and come up with some semblance of a family photo. Not sure if it's one they will adore or not. But it's the best I could do with my wee friend trying to ditch the shoot. It reminded me very much of another little two year friend by the name of Ellie who first came for her pictures around Christmas time. She also was just NOT buying the whole photo shoot experience. I worried for a time that she might be scarred for life and have some real therapy needing aversions to Christmas lights. In the end, Ellie came to enjoy having her picture made and was such a dreamy little model. A total cutie. I have high hopes that this little one, too, might one day actually look at me and my camera and smile instead of scream and run away.

Between my photo shoots today I ran to the gym to squeeze in my workout, then made a dash through Target for tomorrow's birthday party gift for one of Clara's friends and then another quick dash through Fry's because all of my crew was out of milk! It seemed like we weren't home but a few minutes when the next shoot was upon me. Now, as I sit here tonight...I am totally wiped out. And I have a huge headache. And I need some sleep. And so...another day done!

Calendars!

2008-10-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

My calendar and I are GLUED together right now! It's crazy with all the phone calls and e-mails for pictures. I only have 4 weekend sunset in the desert family times left for the Christmas season! There are a few weeknight spots still open...but those are harder for families since the sun sets earlier than a lot of dads get off of work! Those spots have filled up faster than I ever imagined! I am so proud of myself because I am making sure to shedule things AROUND my life...instead of trying to squeeze in my life around my insane schedule! I learned a lesson on that one last year! Now...if I wanted to run totally insane schedules and shoot pictures until I drop...there is MUCH money to be made this season. However...anyone who knows me knows that the money side of it just isn't my thing. I give away as much as I make. It's generally a wash for me! I just love taking the pictures and seeing what new and fun things I can do. And the subject pool is rich with eager volunteers this time of year. And that is just exciting to me! And so...I have a maternity shoot due here any second! I am OFF now to shoot something amazing! Or at least...I'm hoping!

First Report Cards of the School Year

2008-10-24T16:57:00.000-07:00

Well...the first grading period has ended and report cards have officially arrived. Can I just say...that it is a very frustrating thing to have my children. Two of them especially. Specifically the male ones. Here I have two boys who are wildly bright...both of them wildly gifted (and no...NOT my interpretation...God really did make them that way),yet...SO little reflection of that in their report cards. Ben's report card came home and he practically got straight C's! He got an A in science and an A in spelling (he gets that from his mother), but pretty much everything else is a C. SO FRUSTRATING. Because he is a totally smart kid. TOTALLY. And the work is NOT hard for him. He GETS it. He just absolutely refuses to put forth one ounce of effort more than he absolutely has to in order to scrape by. He just doesn't care.

And Max...his grades were surprisingly good. Mostly A's and B's. But C's in a couple of classes that I KNOW he should have done well in. And the comments from the teachers in those two classes? "Must turn in assignments on time." That's my Max. Do all the work... correctly at that. Then leave it on his desk. Or on the kitchen counter. Or anywhere...but in the teacher's basket where it belongs! Organization is NOT his strongpoint. AT ALL! He is definitely NOT one to plan ahead. My boy just flies by the seat of his pants pretty much always. None of this living day to day stuff. He's more like minute to minute. Every minute a new surprise! He struggles with remembering to put on his deodorant each day, with combing his hair, and even with the same chores and responsibilities that he has had every single day for the past 8 years! So part of me is surprised that he has managed to do as well as he has to this point in middle school, juggling 8 classes at a time. But he gets knocked over and over for the simplest things...like organization. GRRRRRRR. And of course...no amount of instruction, begging, pleading, threatening or punishment seems to curb the chaos.

Clara...well, she is still young enough to find school to be delightful and exciting. She enjoys the challenges of each new day, not to mention the social aspects. Lots of social aspects. She brought home her first yellow smiley face this week. She has always been perfectly green. I asked her why she was yellow and she looked at me so sweetly and declared "I was talking!" I looked at her ever so sweetly back and told her to SHUT HER MOUTH! That aside, Miss Mouth is doing quite well in first grade. At least ONE of my children is applying themselves! In all of her reading areas she has already met the end of the year grade level standards,scoring 3s across the board. As far as reading grade level materials, she has significantly exceeded the end of the year grade level standards, scoring a 4. Her spelling is advanced significantly as well. And in all other areas she is making the expected progress and doing just great!

It's frustrating to know that your children are capable of so very much, yet desire to achieve so very little. To know that they have been so gifted and talented and watch them just barely do enough to scrape by. It's hard to know just how easy it is for them when others struggle so much. And then see how little they apply themselves like they just don't care. When you know it would take very little effort on their part to just soar.

Oh well. This is the struggle with the gifted child. And I don't suppose it will go away. Though I do hope that it will eventually evolve into something positive for them. My mother in law tells me all the time that Chris was just like the boys. And he turned out quite nicely. A VERY high achiever. With a lot of drive and a lot of ambition. I hope my boys find that. That they eventually learn to harness all the amazing things they have been blessed with and that they will have the drive and ambition to do great things with it. That it won't go wasted. But in the meantime. They are scraping by. And not caring too much about it at all!

Last note of the Day

2008-10-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

It is now 8:47 p.m. and I just have to say that my triceps are really, REALLY sore. AS are my biceps and forearms and my back is screaming at me too. I am so tired. There are not words to describe it. It has been a nonstop day for sure. But as I write this...I am literally about to just drop. Actually...I was too tired to walk into the bedroom...so I am using this post as an excuse to rest a moment while I gather the strength to head on into the bedroom to brush my teeth and actually go to bed. No one will need to rock me to sleep tonight. I will not need to read or chat...nor do I have any fears of just laying there tossing and turning. Nope. I am DONE! Stick a fork in me already. I do have some work that I should do. Should do. But I imagine my dear friend Abby would like her pictures to look somewhat decent when I am done and I am thinking that tonight is NOT the night to be trying to create anything for her...or anyone else for that matter. And so...on that note. I am off to sleep! Until tomorrow!

And on just one other quick side note....IF my husband were to come into the room after I go to sleep in the dark...and proceed to turn on the bedside lamp so he can read...I would definitely kill him. Just that little side note on his newest and most annoying habit that has woken me up twice in the past week. NOT FUNNY! And so...dear husband...if you are reading this...read on the couch until you drop the book. (that is a hint that you are too tired to read anymore!) Then come to bed with me. IN THE DARK. I love you!

Rattlesnakes Everywhere!

2008-10-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

I saw ANOTHER rattlesnake this morning as I pulled into the parking lot to get our kids' flu shots. And it was a HUGE one! I mean HUGE! He probably had at least 7 or 8 rattles on his tail and he was LOOOOONNNGGG! There was a guy there who had pulled past it in his truck and was taking it's picture. Had he not been there, I assure you it would not have been a photo moment for the Roberts vehicle. Had I seen the evil serpent slithering across the direct path of my vehicle the way it was with NO enthralled onlookers...well...the world would be down one rattlesnake at this hour. And I might sleep a wee bit better tonight. I have to tell you that seeing TWO rattlesnakes in 3 days is more than a little bit unnerving. I have seen so few since we moved here nearly 4 years ago. Suddenly they seem to be looming on every corner. Now...if they will just move out into the roadways! Then I, in my weapon of choice, my vehicle, will gladly do my part to control the rattlesnake population of my part of the desert. Did I mention that I do NOT like snakes? Not even a little bit!

Today has been insanely busy to this point. First there was dropping Oscar off for his "day of beauty"...and I will add that it was a VERY much needed day for sure! He was a bit on the "crunchy" side. Then I was off to get my kids all flu vaccinated. This year they got to do the flumist. Clara was totally freaking out about it. To the point that she was even asking as we walked into the Dr.'s office if she could just have a shot instead. PLEASE could she have a shot?! (Geez! Only my kids would beg for a shot!) It would seem that Clara has some less than fond memories of saline drops in her nose and was not one bit excited about having anything else put up her nose today. She'd take a needle instead, thank you very much! But once we got there and they actually did the flu mist, she chilled out a bit and giggled all the way through the treatment. Thought it was all quite funny. The boys were their usual, trying to act too cool to care selves, though secretly I think they were pretty ecstatic about not being shot this year. Once they were all vaccinated, I had to get all three kids to their respective institutions of learning. Once that little mission was accomplished, I flew home and had a bonding session with my treadmill. 40 minutes later I hit the shower and got myself dressed. Within minutes of completing all of that, the groomer called to tell me that Oscar was all done and ready to be picked up. PERFECT timing! I had exactly enough time to pick him up, run him back home, get him in his kennel and then get to my 1:30 haircut. That was actually shorter than I had anticipated, which was lovely. I had a minute then to run into Fry's and pick up some chicken breasts for dinner. Once I was all checked out at the grocery I had exactly enough time to literally pull into the garage, set the cold things in the fridge in the garage, and hit the road again. Next destination...my own flu shot clinic. As usual, my doctor's office was running their flu shot clinic with amazing precision and I was in and out of there in less than 2 minutes. AWESOME! I then gassed up my car at Safeway, picked up Ben and Clara and am actually home for a whopping 45 minutes! I am leaving now again in 4 minutes to take Max to his guitar lesson. Then I will crawl back into the house sometime around 6:30 tonight. At which point I will grill some chicken and whip up some couscous and a green salad...feed the family, bathe them, and tuck them all into bed. And then...I think I will just collapse. Know...I don't think I will. I KNOW I will! Well...I'm off! AGAIN!

The Busy Season

2008-10-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

The busy season has arrived with a bang as far as photography goes! WOW! Just when I was thinking how quiet things had been...BOOM! An appointment explosion. I have had no less than 9 appointment inquiries in the past 48 hours. That is exciting! It's also a bit overwhelming and I have felt like it is more than a little bit out of my control. So I had to sit down today and bond with my calendar(s) and get them all in synch and organized. I am making sure this year that I am able to breathe and have a little bit of a life outside of photography. Last year, things got so crazy that I did not know if I was coming or going! And I had a really hard time saying no to anyone. And if someone wanted an appointment I managed to find one for them, often times at the expense of my own life. And so. I am planning to make sure that I do not let it take over my life to the point that I can no longer function happily! I refuse to sacrifice my gym time to do pics this year. Last year I barely made it in to the gym. My choice, of course. But I don't want to go there again! This year, that will be a different story. I already know that there are exactly 8 weekend, outdoor, family picture appointment spots available. And that is assuming that at least two of those are shot over Thanksgiving weekend. It seems I have had the most inquiries about those. So I already figured out exactly how many are possible for the weekends so I will know when the appointment times are all gone. And with my own kids crazy schedules, there are only another 8 spots for weeknight family outside pics. So 16 spots total. Of course, inside pics are always an option in the evening for families...but even for those, I only have 3 evenings a week that those can be done. And so...it's crazy, crazy, crazy. And I am NOT complaining. It's a wonderful thing to happen. I am just having to keep a tight reign on myself because I know how I am and how quickly I cave and over schedule myself! November is definitely the month for pictures. Without a doubt! I need to do some research still on Christmas cards and have all of my options and prices ready and available. I have long since gotten this years Christmas props ordered. I do need to pick up some red and green metallic ribbon still. But other than that I am set.

On a non-holiday photo note, I get to do my first maternity session since my training seminar this Saturday. I am really excited and looking forward to that! I can't wait!

As for the rest of my life...well. It's BUSY! Tomorrow is insanely busy for us. I have to drop off Oscar bright and early at the groomer in the morning, and then all three kids have flu shot appoinments. THAT was a major ordeal in and of itself. Every year, it seems to be such an incredible hassle to get those crazy vaccines. But this year took me to new limits of frustration. It took 8 attempts to get them scheduled and more frustration than I can bear to revisit right now. I will say that in the end...I had to result to a total tearful breakdown with the nurse to score those three appointments. I feel kind of bad about that. I am SO not a tearful, crier kind of gal. Not one for the waterworks. And it drives me NUTS when my own little princess pulls the weepy drama tactic. So I'm not really proud of the tearful antics. But thrilled that they worked. REALLY thrilled! After the flu visit, then I have to get all three kids deposited into their respective schools, then I hope to be able to squeeze in a quick treadmill workout at the house (since I have to miss Body Combat to get these crazy flu shots!). Then I have to pick Oscar up again, then get a haircut. Then I have to get my OWN flu shot at 3:20. Pick up the kids from grandma's house, and then Max has guitar lessons. So tomorrow is NUTS. Busy, busy, busy!

And on my final note, Jenny and I met with the personal trainer today. She had a whole new workout for us. Every single exercise we did was new. We worked really hard today. Both of us moved a good bit more weight than we normally do. And I THINK I might be sore tomorrow. Maybe not. We shall see. I particularly loved all the abs today. Lots and lots of those. And they were all tough ones. I like those so much better than crunches on the floor! Who knows. Maybe they will work?! I am ever so hopeful! Jenny has much better balance than I do. That was very obvious today. Although...I had noticed that earlier when we did a different class. Jenny had NO wobbling going on. She's steady as a rock. Me...I'm more like a jello jiggler. Not so steady! So maybe...before it's all done I will get a bit better balanced like my dear friend and training partner. She makes it look so easy too! Only time will tell. We have a couple more sessions to go with the trainer. Maybe we will be skinny and totally buff by then?! Stay tuned!

And now...I got to get! The troops are yelling for their dinner and there is no daddy in the house! So it's all me in the kitchen tonight! Fun, fun, fun! I just LOVE the kitchen!

Saw a Snake Today

2008-10-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

Yep. It was a big rattlesnake. Right on the sidewalk where I WOULD have been walking, had a nice, older gentleman not called Mr. Evil Rattlesnake to my attention. Nice. Very lovely. My heart rate just jumped right on up there. I was totally freaked out for the duration of my walk from that point on. Heck, it was only 9 a.m. and I was ready for a drink after that. A STRONG one. I was ready to MOVE out of state after that. Just put a big old "FOR SALE" sign right there in the yard. Just like that. There are really only three animals that totally strike terror and trembling in my heart. Alligators, Sharks and Snakes (especially snakes!). And so. The rest of this day will find me often on my knees ramping up my rattlesnake prayers. I encourage you to do the same (on my behalf of course!). That snake was most definitely closer than a two mile radius to my house! YIKES! I always pray a very specific barrier of protection. I see now that it's time to ramp that up a bit. God must love me a little bit though. Because even though that nasty snake was sitting right there just waiting to ambush poor Oscar and I, He did send that lovely Rattlesnake Angel to run interference and save me. And so...for THAT I am eternally grateful. SO very grateful. Well. I've had my heart attack for the day. It's time now to move on to other things!

Thinking About

2008-10-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am seriously thinking about just kind of stepping away from coordinating Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for Tucson. Actually. I am totally thinking about stepping away from all of it...at least for a while. I wouldn't really be leaving the area in a lurch, because I have a co-coordinator. She could just take it by herself and run with it. I just feel like maybe I am done with that right now. Maybe it's because the busy season is creeping up on me. Maybe it's because I have been doing it for nearly two years with just a handful of us photographers here. And maybe I just think I'm tired and I need to step away a little bit. So I'm thinking about that.

I'm thinking about how I skipped church this morning to go to Body Combat at the gym. God didn't like that one little bit and made sure that my favorite instructors were SO not there and my least favorite one was SO there all by herself. But I didn't want to go to church because quite simply...I was not up for a rock concert this morning. And I feel like that is all I find here in this city. One rock concert/boy band after another. With soft, fluffy messages of invitation. It makes me nuts. Normally I can...and do...just suck it up and get in there and do it. But today I was in NO mood for it! And so I didn't do it.

I am thinking about how there surely must be a weather system rolling in because my head is hurting mightily and has been all day long.

I am thinking about how bad my knees hurt after running sprints with Chris yesterday. NOT received well by the old body! That's for sure! NOT going to do that again!

I am thinking about how cute Clara and her friend Claire were when we took them to see High School Musical on Ice. I almost enjoyed watching their little expressions and smiles more than I enjoyed watching the show.

I am thinking about how nice it will be to get the kids all back to school tomorrow morning and get my house put back together.

I am thinking about Christmas and how I'm ready to ship the vast majority of our packages out in the next 2 weeks.

I am thinking about how much fun it will be to have Chris's sister and her two girls here for Christmas this year.

I am thinking about how glad I am that I have already "cooked" our Christmas dinner! (aka ordering the big meal from Honey Baked Ham...scheduled to be delivered the week of Christmas! Silly rabbit....you didn't actually think I was going to COOK it did ya?!)

I am thinking that I probably need to get off this computer and go and fold one more load of laundry before bed!

And so that's me...just thinking! It's dangerous...I know!

Fall Break

2008-10-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

Our crew just returned from our Fall Break Extravaganza...2008! Such fun we have had over the past week. We headed out, not so bright and early on Monday morning after a fun and relaxing weekend at home. We arrived at our destination, San Diego...specifically, Carlsbad State Beach, Monday evening around 7 p.m. It was a delightful week frolicking and playing in the San Diego area. The kids had a great time with their boogie boards (or body boards or whatever the heck they are called) and actually stayed in the water a bit since they had wet suits this go round! The wetsuits were a bonus since the water temperature was a brisk 63 degrees this time! The kids spent all day Tuesday and Thursday jumping the waves, body boarding and building sand castles. And on Wednesday, we spent the day at the San Diego Zoo. Those are the highlights of the trip. Now I will fill you in on the details. Monday was pretty much a wash as it was a travel day and we definitely took our time getting there! We pretty much arrived just in time to crash out and call it a night! Then on Tuesday the kids took their wetsuits for a spin for the first time.
The boys jumped into the water immediately and had a blast! Clara, on the other hand...had to warm up to the idea a bit.

After all...that water was pretty chilly! She wasn't at all sure that that wet suit was going to do her one bit of good! After debating it for a good while, she too joined in the fun and a blast was had by all! On Tuesday night, my sister, Donna and her charming hubby, Grady, came over and joined us for a steak dinner and some wonderful sunset watching.
We had such a good time with them. And then, we all went the next day, to visit the San Diego Zoo. The hippos, flamingos and polar bears were my favorite subjects to photograph this go round!

WHAT is with this poor hippo's tail? I mean....geez?! Did God make it that way? Or did it get stuck in an electrical outlet somewhere?!
Then on Thursday, we were back out on the beach. Chris did some boogie boarding with the kids. I kicked back in a chair to take it all in. I had put my camera away when this nagging little voice started telling me to pick it back up again. I watched Chris and the kids and decided I had enough pictures of this excitement. But the voice refused to go away. Eventually, I decided it must be the voice of God. After all....I had JUST prayed for something dazzling to photograph, because, to this point...nothing had really moved me or gotten me too excited. It was just the same old, same old. I needed something dazzling. So I kind of challenged God on it. You know...come on...make my day, etc., etc. Well...the "voice" was very persistent, and so I finally picked up my camera and headed back down into the freezing water. My family wasn't doing anything too exciting, so I proceeded to take some pics of this bird and his reflection there on the beach.
When suddenly, I swung my viewfinder back over to my family in the water...just in time to capture.....THIS!
WOW! Talk about cool! Apparently God was up to my little challenge! And my three boys were swimming with the dolphins! Better the dolphins, than the sharks, if you know what I mean! It was so cool to see the dolphin swimming so close to them! The day ended all too soon and before we knew it Friday was upon us. We had a nice breakfast of bacon and eggs and pancakes and then proceeded to break camp. I asked Chris if he had gas in the truck. He said no...but assured me we had PLENTY. And so we set off. Chris is famous for wanting to get "out of town" before he stops for either food or gas. The unfortunate thing about this habit is that often, when you get "out of town" there is NEITHER food NOR gas! I have been on the disappointment end of this logic of his many a time before. And today was yet another adventure in the land of "I told you so!" . As we both watched the gas tank fall lower and lower, closer and closer to the big "E" as in EMPTY...Chris kept assuring me that we had plenty of gas and were absolutely going to make it to the destination that he had in mind. In the meantime, we are passing MANY gas stations. We were by NO MEANS in a desolate land, void of gas. No...we simply sailed right by them. And I just sat back and said "Fine...do it your way." Well. It wasn't very long before I caught the worried glances and heard Chris telling me that the gas station was "just over that hill by the big windmills". I said that that was all fine and good, but I didn't think for a second he was going to MAKE it to the windmills...that they were a good bit farther away than our gas tank indicated we could make it. (of course, by now...there are NO gas stations anywhere and we are traveling SO uphill. Of course!) No sooner does he tell me not to worry, than the truck begins to sputter and shake and buck and we come to a grinding hault along I-8. (Go ahead! Click on this picture to get the full picture of our gas guage! It's fantastic!)
Nice, high, noonday sun beating down on us. And there we are. Totally and completely out of gas. Just sitting there on the interstate. With a nice huge "I told you so" just teetering on the edge of my lips. After a call to roadside assistance, it was only a short hour and 10 minutes until we were on the road again. It was just delightful. The kids in particular loved the whole "out of gas", stranded on the side of the road thing. Big fun it was! Oh yes. It's quite sad when the hero of your day is no longer your husband, but a guy named Dennis in a blue Ace Tow truck uniform bearing a giant can of diesel gas!

Needless to say....after that whole experience, Chris seemed to have a lot less trouble just pulling the stupid truck into NORMAL, populated exits and gassing up. I think he knew better than to risk that whole experience twice! He kept telling me that at least now, the trip wasn't boring. That we now had a story to tell! And sooo...consider it told! We FINALLY rolled back into Tucson a bit after 8:00 p.m. on Friday night. Totally exhausted. Kids in full melt down mode! It was a week to remember for sure! And so...that's a wrap on Fall Break 2008!

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair

2008-10-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had to go and do a big shoot. I was so excited. I had it all in my mind how it was going to go. How it was all going to look in print. I had reviewed over and over in my head the exact shots the client was looking for. I had a plan! When I got there, the person I was to photograph had not arrived yet. I headed back out to my car to fetch my camera, etc and about that moment, a woman comes zooming in in her convertible, top down, wild curly hair a flying everywhere. Something in the first two second glance over had me praying "Dear God, don't let that be the one! Don't let that be the person I am to photograph!." As she stepped out of the car, I heard myself ask her "Are you________?" I'm praying all along that she will say NO. But she smiles and says YES. My heart plummets and I swallow very hard. And shift my prayers to prayers for great wisdom and creativity, for an eye that will be able to capture beauty...where there seems to be a great shortage. This one was a bit on the natural side she was. It didn't seem to bother her that her already wild and curly hair was even much more so now thanks to her ride with the top down. Didn't seem to be a point of concern. She had NO makeup. Not even a lip gloss. NOT EVEN a chapstick. And boy did she need one. She had on an ugly, manly suit, that did absolutely nothing to create even a hint of feminine softness. Her eyebrows were....well scary. And I have to say that for a few moments there, I struggled mightily. And I was NOT happy. I mean...why me? Why did I get stuck with this one? Why, when I finally get a really cool, big opportunity kind of event, do I have to end up photographing someone who just doesn't obviously give a crap? I mean...she KNEW we were taking her picture. Most women I know who KNOW they have to have their picture made will at least make a half hearted attempt to spruce up even a little bit. Not so much with this one. And so we trudged in there and I took those pictures. Lots of them. I took the liberty of running her pics through my portrait professional program. ALL of them. Just to try to soften and polish her a little bit. I finally got them all finished and I delivered them to the client this morning. I did all that I could do. But like my dad has always said...the camera can only take what it sees! Oh well. So much for my first huge opportunity!

On another note, yesterday was the first meeting at the gym with the personal trainer. Can you say OUCH? What was funny was that she really didn't do anything too new or crazy with Jenny and I. We are pretty familiar with the weight floor and nothing she showed us was really new or original. However, that said, somehow, the combination of what we did, coupled with just a couple of new tweaks, made for a very tiring and tough workout. At one point, while we were doing lunges, I was quite certain that my butt was seized up in a pretty permanent state and that I might be stuck there, just like that, forever. Jenny and I have done plenty of lunges in our workout lives. But NEVER and I do mean NEVER have I known lunges to be so tough or so very PAINFUL! And there were only two sets of 12 of them! All I can say, is that after all of THAT...I had better end up with some buns of steel! I was very exhausted when it was all over yesterday. And feeling like I was going to be very, very sore. I was afraid to wake up this morning quite honestly. But I woke up feeling just great. And so I think my body handled it all better than expected! I will be taking my weights to the beach with me next week and doing my workout as I look out over the crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean. Got to stay on track you know! And then when I get back, we get to meet with our trainer all over again for some new and improved moves! I can't wait!

It's finally Friday and I am just so tired today. It seems as though Friday's generally find me this way. The kids keep us all going on such a busy schedule this year. By the time Friday rolls around I am just cooked! I just want to chill out for the rest of the weekend. And I am so excited that my weekend of chilling is going to be followed next week by a full week of further chilling on the cool sandy beaches of San Diego. I so love our little ocean getaways. The kids are all excited as they have wetsuits this time around. Daddy has one too so he can play with the body boards also! Mommy will be observing from the beach. Because I assure you that there is NO wetsuit warm enough to keep the icy chill of the pacific waters from getting to me! I will be on beach patrol, camera in hand, capturing the smiles of my gorgeous family as they frolic and freeze! Ahhh! Paradise...here I come!

Goings On

2008-10-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am restless tonight. There is much on my plate tomorrow and my mind is aswirl with all of it. First of all, tomorrow morning my friend Jenny and I have our first session with the personal trainer. I am filled with equal parts excitement and total dread over the matter. Jenny is hoping that the trainer works us so hard that we have to crawl out of the gym on our hands and knees. And while I DO hope she will help us to get some results...somehow I had envisioned new and challenging workouts, while at the same time walking out of the building under my own steam on my own two legs! So, I think that Jenny and I might have slightly different ideas about all of that...but I think we are both dreading the "nutrition" talk more than you can know. LUCKY for us, the trainer is also a nutritionist. Jenny and I are pretty sure that major chunks of our current intake will most likely no longer be "allowed". Bummer. As I type this, I am cherishing my last Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay Wave Runner. Pretty certain those will be on the no-no list! Right along with Jenny's donuts and late night milkshakes! To top it off, Mother Nature is due to come and get me any second now. I just hope that tomorrow there is no scale or tape measure involved. I can't even tell you how not funny I would find that! The thought of it makes me entirely queasy!

After I get my butt weighed, measured and kicked in the gym (not to mention knocking that old pride down a notch or two), I will be getting ready for one of the biggest jobs thus far of my short photography career. I got a call from a California firm last week asking me to do the photography for the upcoming opening of a new business. So I get to go over to the new place tomorrow afternoon, and do some photography there. No pressure! I am totally excited. But so totally nervous. The closer it gets, the more wound up I find myself getting. My photography has gotten SO much better over the past year. I have been thrilled beyond belief with my latest takings on. The pictures from my sister's house were AMAZING in every way. I am so glad that my friends Mandy and Jen pushed me to work on my outdoor photography skills. Of course...there is only ONE outdoor shot for the shoot. Anyway. I know I can do this and do a good job. Or at least, I think that I know it. This is the hour that the doubt starts creeping in. However...in the famous words of many a good man..."oh well!" I'm hired and the time is set and I'm just going to walk in there and get it done and get it done right. Period.

From that shoot I will head straight over to Cheerleading/tumbling for observation day. Clara is LOVING her cheer and tumble this year. FINALLY. She had a rough start this year for some reason. I don't know if she was just tired or what really her deal was. But she was really clingy and moody and cranky about it all when it came time to do the activity. But if I even breathed a word about maybe pulling out of it, she flipped out! Finally, she seems to have settled in and it is no longer a battle. She is loving her classes and loving learning all of her new skills. Which is good, because I am not a real fan of the clinging, whining, stay with me thing.

It will be 7 o'clock by the time tumbling is over and 7:15 before we get home. Then there will be dinner to cook and sore muscles to soak (assuming Jenny does not get her wish and I am actually able to walk into the house under my own steam, and not crawl in on my knees!). Not to mention all of those pictures to edit. It's going to be a LONG one tomorrow and all of the long is going to come on the backside of the day. Bummer!

On a totally different and unrelated note, I ate a nutrition bar today called "think 5". It supposedly has 3 cups of vegetables and 2 cups of fruit in it. All for just 300 calories. Delicious nutrition on the go it says. Can I just say that...I beg to differ! The think 5 bar is "chocolate covered red berry flavor". The chocolate did not cover up ANY flavor and the flavor that went pretty much entirely uncovered was certainly NOT red berry. This was hands down the nastiest, worst tasting, foul concoction I have ever choked down. When you bite into the bar it has a slightly greenish tinge to it...like mold or grass clippings. And did I mention that it was nasty? All sorts of scary vegetable powders in that one. If it's gross, and you can make it into a powder...they dumped it into this bar. So, should you find yourself in the power bar aisle and you see one of these "think 5" bars...and think that it seems like a good idea, getting all five servings of your fruits and vegetables in one hit...my personal opinion would be that you THINK AGAIN! Walk away. Just GO HUNGRY. You will be glad you did in the long run!

And that is what is going on in my world today!

Ahhh...there's a chill in the air!

2008-10-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

Finally! Our first big break from the heat has come this weekend. It is LOVELY. The air is cool. The air seems nice and fresh and crisp. I was downright chilly this afternoon. I even put on some long sleeves as I sat out on the patio tonight enjoying the chilliness! It's 76 degrees right now, but it feels so much cooler to me. What a delightful change in the weather pattern! Summer was definitely getting WAY too long! It's just delightful! Such happy days these are!

A Quest for Home

2008-10-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

A church home that is. Once again, Chris and I find ourselves searching for the right church home. This seems to be a never ending saga for us since we moved to Tucson. The problem is that we so LOVED the church that we came from and churches are so vastly different out here that we have not been able to fill the void so to speak. We really like the church we have attended most since we moved here, Catalina Foothills. The church is not perfect, but it's a good fit. Or at least, it has been until recently. One of the biggest reasons that we returned again and again to that church is because in so many ways we have felt like we have a family there. We connect well with so many other families there and it has been nice. However, what we now run into is that if we are there, connecting with and fellowshipping with those families we enjoy the most, then, during the time that that occurs, there is nothing for our middle schooler. No class meets for him. No group. Nothing. So we go to worship as a family, then Clara goes to her class, Ben to his...and poor Max has to come and sit through our class with us. And that really isn't working for any of us. Next year, I will have two middle schoolers. And so we have come to the conclusion that this is not a good fit for us. Now...we can give up our class and the people we love and adore being with. But then we have lost the main reason we kept being drawn to that church in the first place. I guess I want church to be more than just a once a week worship service for my kids. I want it to be a lifestyle. A group. A place they spend a lot of time, and get to know a lot of great Christian people. I grew up in the church. I was part of a fantastic youth group and the youth bible study totally packed out our youth minister's apartment each and every week. We looked forward to being there and being a part of the body of Christ and I hope my children will also be blessed with such an experience. And the older they get, the more important that is to me. And so today, we visited yet another church. This has been quite an adventure to date. Bouncing between disco balls and defibrillators, boring to bodacious, you name it, we've tried it. And that is pretty amazing for me, because I am really pretty set in my mind as far as what I am looking for in a worship experience. I've definitely been worn down a bit on that one now in the last 4 years. I am not nearly as surprised by things as I might once have been. I pretty much expect to find a group of men in every congregation leading music while simultaneously living out their "boy band" dreams. You find them up on stage, electric guitars in hand, the big drum set, the cool and funky hats. Rocking out under the guise of "praise music". Without fail, every congregation has one. Honestly, the ONLY two churches in all of Tucson that we have visited that have a real live, honest to goodness old fashioned piano are Casas and Catalina Foothills. It's a fact that I have come to expect. I don't love it, because I think the piano is a beautiful instrument and I think you CAN worship and praise God without 3 electric guitars and a drum set. But I have come to know it as the way of the West...and I just deal with it. It's not in my nature...but I'm pretty proud of myself for seeing past that a bit. Today's church visit was no different. It was the typical Tucson set up. Only this sanctuary had a garage door in it. Yep. It would just roll right up there onto the ceiling. That was interesting. Maybe they open it up for weddings? Who can say? The boy band was up there. The music selection was reasonable. And while it was loud, it was tolerable. The boy band had a decent male vocalist who led the singing. Decent. And he was, in turn, backed up by the doo-wop sisters. Two lovely ladies who ooohed and aaahhhhed right on tempo in perfect unison. The next thing that caught my eye, was that just a few moments into the sermon there was a "Virtual Pastor's Question of the Day", where the pastor threw out a question to the congregation. The one in front of him, as well as the various satellite congregations. He then instructed the various congregations to take out their cell phones and TEXT him their answers to the questions and put his blackberry # up on the screen big as a dollar. It felt like that moment at the end of American's Funniest Home Videos when all the different audiences grab their voter thingy and vote for their favorite video. Everyone snatches up their cell phones and proceeds to send in their thoughts on the matter. Hmmm. Very interesting. I have to say that that was a first for me. The whole invitation to text in the service. There were a lot of "repeat after me" moments. Let's all read the screen together moments. Those were a little annoying for sure. There was a little video, commercial-like blurb that talked about how God is not a vending machine and showed a guy getting his hand stuck inside the coke machine. There was a skit presentation done by a drama group. I'm not huge on skits as part of the every day worship service. It can be a fun thing from time to time...but I'm not a particularly huge fan of weekly theatrics in the church. The pastor's message was fine. Not deep and quite free of hell's fire and brimstone. It was gentle and invitational in sorts...but not calling only to those who are not in relationship with Christ, but an invitation to all of us to take the time to be more intimate in our walks. Once we were in the car, I began taking the poll to see what all the individual Roberts clan thought of the morning. I was surprised to hear that Ben liked it. Max was neutral, but not negative. Clara was concerned that she would not get to go to any kids activities (though we assured that if we went back we would find some for her) and Chris said he thought it was "interesting". All in all, there was nothing to make me run screaming away. The people seemed nice enough. There seemed to be tons of kids running around. I think that all of us would be okay going back again and running another test to see what we think. We jokingly discussed flying back home to Pensacola on the weekends to attend Olive Baptist again. And while Chris travels a lot, we just don't have that many frequent flyer miles! And so...next week is a new week. I took great comfort in the fact that there was no disco ball (I promise you that as I walked in that door I had my eyes lifted to the ceiling. From afar I am certain that it looked as though I was searching the heavens for God himself...a holy act of reverence. If only they knew!) At the end of the day, what matters is that we were able to worship as a family and it was a good experience for us. Who knows what adventures next week might hold for us?! I guess we shall find out!

Raising Maxwell

2008-10-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

Of our three children, it is Maxwell that daily sends me to my knees in prayer and frustration. It is Maxwell that forever has me second guessing myself as a mother. Wondering where in the world I went wrong with him. What mistake it was that first put this perpetual ball of chaos into motion? It is Maxwell that makes me grapple with the very real possibility that he might not EVER pull it together enough to move out of our home and be independent. And it is most definitely Maxwell that has my blood pressure elevated to new heights here lately and that I am quite certain is hell bent on making me certifiably crazy. To say that Max and I are having a difference of opinion would be putting it mildly. For some time now Max has had quite a bit of difficulty grasping the concept of "clean up your room". And no matter how many times we go over it and show him what it's all supposed to look like, he just doesn't get it. Only, really, I think he so totally DOES get it. But he's a bit of a lazy boy, that one. And I think it's less taxing on him to hear me scream and yell and throw a fit than it is to actually pick up the room. He is a master of labor avoidance techniques. At twelve, one would think he is more than capable of making a bed, and hanging up his t-shirts in the closet. You would think. And you would think that it might dawn on him that if he is having to step over his clothes to get out of the bathroom he just showered in, that he should pick up those clothes off the floor and get them out of the way. You would think. You might also expect that a boy of twelve might be able to keep up with his sneakers. Yet every single day we have the "Great Sneaker Hunt" because Max can't find them. At some point, especially with it being suggested to him about a MILLION times, one might think he would make a habit of putting them in the same place each afternoon when he takes them off. But no. That would be entirely too logical. And besides, it's so much more fun to hunt for them and find them behind the bathroom sink in the powder room, or under the barstools in the kitchen, or back behind Oscar's kennel in the family room. ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE EXCEPT where they are supposed to be. Oh yes...so much more of an andrenaline rush knowing he is maybe just seconds from missing the bus and there are no shoes to be found. Whenever there are tasks to be done (like clearing the table or unloading the dishwasher) Max suddenly develops a great and uncontrollable urge to go poop. Go figure. It seems that helping out around the house has a bit of a laxative effect on the child. Quite frankly, I have grown a bit frustrated with him. Now...if you are sitting there and saying to yourself "Big deal...the kid's room is messy." Well...let me say that if Maxwell was able to contain his chaos to JUST HIS room, then I might be able to chill a little bit on it. But Maxwell is a whole lot like Pigpen from Charlie Brown. There is a bit of an aura that surrounds him. Everywhere he goes, he leaves a trail. I can walk in the kitchen and know that he had oatmeal as a snack. For one, the empty packets are still sitting on the counter. He tends to have bad aim and there is usually a nice little cloud of oatmeal dust and oats in the area. The bowl is usually still sitting there long after Max has gone while the remaining oatmeal remnants attempt to cement themselves for all eternity to the sides of the bowl. His backpack can usually be found deposited smack in the middle of the round foyer area. OUTSIDE of the closet where it belongs and most definitely NOT on the hook that was SPECIFICALLY placed there for such items. However, in the same downstairs closet, I can usually find the day's dirty and discarded socks pulled off and thrown there on the floor. (note...there is NO laundry basket in said closet) And while I can most certainly count on finding his dirty socks there...NEVER will I find his shoes there because THAT IS EXACTLY the place he is SUPPOSED to put them. He spreads the newspaper out each and every morning looking for the comics. But he can't simply open the Accent section and read them there. No. He has to remove them from the section, leaving the section wide open there and taking the comics off to his breakfast bowl. And when he is done, 9 out of 10 times you can find both the bowl and the comics right there with the rest of the newspaper spread all over the place. Sigh. This morning Max and I had it out...again. I reminded him of what needed to be done upstairs and quickly sent him up to take care of it. I decided that I would pop up there and help him pay close attention to the details. Only, as I came up the steps, I did not find him attending to ANY details. He had simply plopped himself in the chair on the landing and was apparently just....well....sitting, That did not go over too well. I marched him into his bedroom and quickly got him started on the tasks before him. The laundry that I sent up with him two days ago to be put away was in a pile on the floor. Every dresser drawer was hanging open. The bed was not made. There were two days of towels on his floor. And that's just a tiny slice of it, but you can use your imagination. I instruct him to get this laundry put away and notice that not only can he not put it away, but he can't even seem to get his drawer to shut. Hmmmm? This was not a problem AT ALL for me last month when I went into his room and proceeded to refold every single item in every single drawer and make them just as neat and clean as they could be. So I head over to see what in the world is the problem. Well...that drawer that would not close is for shorts. Just shorts. All of his t-shirts for school hang up his closet so that they won't look like he slept in them. Except that Max, in all of his Maxness, has chosen NOT to hang up his shirts the way he is supposed to, but to simply CRAM them into the drawer to the point that the drawer can no longer be closed. And my nice neat, wrinkle free t-shirts? NO MORE. They look like they have been slept in for months on end. Slept in, stomped on, put through the crimper. It's great. So, needless to say our morning was not off to a great start. At that point I informed Maxwell that if he simply refuses to help out in the house and cannot even manage to clean up somewhat after himself, that I can no longer be helpful to him. And that from this point on he will need to figure out the activity bus for all of his afterschool activities as I will no longer be going out of my way to accomodate anything other than his very most basic needs. And since he has so little regard for wrinkle free clothing and so little appreciation for the time I have spent laundering drying and folding all his clothing so that he can throw it all on the floor, he can now take over his own laundry as well. I'll just repeat here that it was NOT a good morning in our house. Well. Max walked off then, presumably in search of his shoes (where in the world might they be hiding THIS wonderful morning?!). He comes back in a few minutes, shoes in hand, and proceeds to say to me "Mom, I hate to tell you this, but I'm going to say it. This whole thing is just a big downward spiral. You're being mean to me and then I feel like being mean to you and then it just goes on and on." And then he just stares at me. And I am thinking to myself...MEAN?! He thinks this is all about being MEAN?!!! Chris's Max is a very bright child (and I say Chris' because I am struggling to claim him right now. I'm struggling with letting him live here much less claiming him!). If you have ever met him you know that he received double if not triple the brains of the ordinary kid. He is EXTREMELY bright. HOWEVER. I am totally amazed at how COMPLETELY and THOROUGHLY that child can miss the mark at times. He just doesn't get it. And so there we were. Him, defiantly staring at me, fully expecting me to agree that he is right. And me, completely flabbergasted that this very bright child, so like his father, can just really be that dumb. That after all of the discussion on why we help out as a family and why we do our share and how much work it takes to care for a home...how many hands make light work and if we all just pitch in a little bit, it all goes by so much faster. After all of that...I'm simply mean. SIGH****** That whole "train up a child..." verse in the bible. It all seems fine and good in theory. But I am finding myself really struggling with it in real life. Easier said than done, ya know?

On another note, which also happens to center around Max. I am fairly certain that our family must surely be under federal investigation at this point. In Max's Reach class, which is the gifted program at school, they have to do an independent research project. Some topic that interests them. They have to research it, interview someone "in the know" on the topic, and put together a report. Max's topic that he chose to research? Is it possible for one single person to launch a bioterrorist attack on the world? Yep. That's our son. Of all the topics in the vast, wide world. So he's been scouring the internet for weeks now. I don't even know how one begins to search for that info. Do you just google "how to destroy the world in ten easy steps?" Or "bioterrorism for dummies?" I mean...really. Then yesterday, he finally gets around to making his phone call to try to interview a specialist in the field. And they are on the phone for about 30 seconds when they tell Max that there is NO WAY they would answer any of his questions because that sort of information is dangerous in the hands of the public. And they simply would not tell him if or how it would be possible to launch a bioterrorist attack. Not what method it could be done with, not which vehicles of transmission....NOTHING. Well, between that lovely phone call and all the internet searching Max has done, I am quite certain that it is possible that we have raised more than a couple of flags with National Security. If you see the national terror threat elevated, it's probably Max's fault. I'm sure that as I type this the CIA is probably staking out our home and monitoring all phone calls and e-mails. Heck, they probably have a hold of this blog too! Oy Vey! Raising Maxwell. Is is NOT for the faint of heart.

Just Checking In

2008-09-26T06:57:00.001-07:00

It seems like forever since I updated this crazy blog of mine. A week and two days...that practically is forever for me! So much has been happening. For one...I am exhausted. This whole month has been one of racing and running and Chris and I just passing like two ships in the night. The beginning of the month I was in North Carolina for 5 days. Then I was home less than 48 hours before Chris left for 10 days in the Boundary Waters. He got home and was grounded for all of 2 days before he left again for two days. Now he is back again...but just for 3 days before he leaves AGAIN! And so, in the meantime, that leaves me...the chief of discipline, transportation, chef, maid and social events coordinator. Added to all of that excitement, this whole week has been "early release" for Ben and Clara due to parent conferences, so my much needed "mommy" time has been cut EVERY day this week. Nice. Lovely!

Parent conferences went well. Benjamin has a marked falure to apply himself. His teacher feels strongly that he is capable of SO much more than he shares in class. (And I'm thinking...welcome to my world!) He seems to want to accomplish all of his work turbo speed (even though there are NO prizes for getting done first or fast) and his speediness, coupled with his carelessness is making for some less than ideal work. So he is going to need to work on slowing down and checking his work and getting more organized. That woman really has no idea what she is asking on that whole organization end. This IS the brother of Max, after all. And while those two boys can be so very different... in that area.. the blood bond runs deep! Clara's conference was great. Her only negative comment was that she tends to be a "chatty cathy". Hmmm. I wonder where in the world she would get a trait like that? It was interesting though. She's not chatty in a disrupt the class sort of way. Not at all the teacher assures me. It's more in helping others. Apparently the answers come so easily to Clara that she wants to help everyone else right along so they can keep up with her. Her teacher thinks it would be nice if the other kids are allowed to think for themselves sometimes. We tried to explain some of this to Clara.. we'll see if she can resist the urge to "help" everyone for a bit here. Then her teacher tells me that they are working on goals (can't remember exactly what the goal is), but if they achieve it, they get to choose something to do. And I nearly burst out laughing when she told me what Clara has chosen if and when she makes HER goal. Apparently, upon reaching this goal, the teacher will allow CLARA to TEACH the class for 15 minutes! FIFTEEN minutes! WOW! And so, once I composed myself a bit, I asked her..."ummm, are you sure about that? Are you sure you want to let Clara take over like that?" I'm thinking...15 minutes is a LONG time! She assures me that yes, she is good with that and that she is quite sure Clara could do it and do it well. Well, despite her assurances I was still sitting there thinking "Lady, you have NO idea what you are in for on that one!" The rest of the news on Clara was all good. She is reading on a 3rd grade level and is doing 2nd and 3rd grade homework sheets each night. She has her own spelling words aside from the class that are on her level. I assumed they must be drilling them in class as she spells them effortlessly...but her teacher tells me no...she just gives them to this little group of 3 and they have to learn and spell them. So I think she will be a good speller (she might actually have gotten ONE brain gene from her MOTHER!). It looked as though her Dibels scores were the highest of her class when I glanced at the scores and everything looks just lovely as far as she goes. No problems. Well...other than the fact that she might need a muzzle to keep quiet! But I figure that if that is the WORST thing that she can come up with about her...then very excellent!

What else? I got to take my first pictures of twins this week. Very fun. Precious babies those two little ones were! The session went well. I had never done twins and so that was a fun, new challenge for me. Of course...after the session was all said and done I have had like a zilliion ideas about how to do it. Isn't that always the case?! Lots of other picture orders have been picked up and my dragonfly printed on metallic paper arrived and it is STUNNING! Now I think i am going to print it even BIGGER and alternate out my downstairs bathroom with that and the bright water lily...just for something fun! More of a fall look.

That's all the news on this front right now. We are going to have a VERY quiet weekend. Going nowhere and doing NOTHING is my goal. I would love one whole day in my house! Just one! I am supposed to go to the gym to spin with Jenny today. But my lower back is killing me this morning. But not muscle like. I think it feels more like my kidney is hurting. So I am not sure what I am going to do in this next hour. To spin? Or not to spin? It doesn't really help that I totally hate spinning! My initial vote is to skip spin and just go back to bed! Going to let the ibuprofen decide. I will take some now and then, in an hour when I have to take the kids to school...if it is better...then I spin. If not....then I chill here! Till later!

Another Year

2008-09-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well...today was my big day. The day I log yet another year on the old age calendar. I turned 37 today. If I were to take a moment to reflect on this past year and what I have done with it...I would have to say it has been a good year. I have had some great opportunities and a lot of life lessons. I have tried some new things and broken away from old ones. I have made some wonderful new friends and said goodbye to others. I have done a few things I am proud of and a few things that I am not. But mostly, I have just been so richly blessed this year. With a husband who loves me, friends who make me laugh and smile, and children who seem intent to test my limits of sanity while at the same time just melting my heart with their sweet grins and loving ways. Chris is out of town, so I got to get old all by myself this year. At first, I thought that that would be a sad thing. Just me and the kids hanging out. But the day has been just so fantastic. It all started with opening a card from my sweet friend Gillian this morning. Inside it was a gift card to my single favorite place on the planet...Lucy!!! Hooray! I was SO excited! Then I got to go to the gym for Body Combat. My favorite class on my big day! After that I rushed off and met my dear friend Mary for Pumpkin Lattes and pumpkin bread at Starbucks! After that I took myself for a manicure and pedicure treat! That was SO lovely. From there I picked up the kids, ran a quick errand to the post office, and then headed on into the evening's excitement. I went to Gavi tonight with Karen and Jenny from the gym. WHAT a delightful and fun evening. I can't think of two people I would have enjoyed more this evening. It was delicious food, easy conversation and just a wonderful time with friends. I don't know when I have laughed and smiled so much. In addition to all of that fun today, I also got a fantastic new purse from my sister, some really groovy new wine glass clips from one of Chris's coworker's wives and some monogrammed toilet paper! I have to say that in all of my 37 years, I have never had monogrammed toilet paper bestowed upon me. But tonight I did! And it's just too funny! To top off this great day, there were three bouquets of flowers waiting for me when I picked up my children tonight. One from each of them. So sweet. AND two big picture orders waiting for me in my e-mail. What more could a girl ask for on her special day? Honestly, I don't think it gets any more special than that! I am so crazy blessed at this point in my life. I am fluffier than I was a year ago...heck...I'm just plain fatter than last year. And more wrinkled and definitely more tired I think. But so very, very blessed. I don't know when I have felt so loved and so special. It truly was a fantastic day and such a wonderful way to turn 37. I'm almost looking forward to 38!

Weekend Reflections

2008-09-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Sunday evening and another weekend is drawing to a close. I sit here tonight with ANOTHER pesky headache trying to happen on me. Again. No idea what is up with the headaches...but it's making me crazy. They aren't terrible migraine level things...just annoying.

Chris is off fishing somewhere in the Boundary Waters up by Canada. He has ZERO cell phone reception, so for an entire week (and a little bit) there is NO hearing from him or him hearing from us. I'm guessing he enjoys his end of that deal a little better than I enjoy mine! So, in the meantime, the kids and I are staying plenty busy. Not that that is ever really a challenge for us. On Thursday afternoon I had to dash down to UMC to do a session for a full term fetal demise. Then on Friday afternoon, right as school got out, I got called to Northwest for another full term fetal demise. There were two other calls while I was in North Carolina and then there was ANOTHER call this afternoon. This is definitely one of those dreaded baby waves. I was just thinking right before I headed to North Carolina that things sure had been quiet on the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep front. VERY quiet! And no sooner did I think that, than the wave began. So I have two on my desk here to work through...plus a few hundred other minor photography tasks to tackle. No...I cannot complain about being bored or having nothing to do! Hopefully, this call today will be the last of this wave and we can go back to the low key, quiet status that we enjoyed for such a good long while this past time!

Friday night we had dinner at Jackie's house. And that was totally great because I did not finish at the hospital until right at dinner time. It was so nice not to have to come and try to figure out what to feed everyone! Then on Saturday, I got up early and took Oscar for a long walk. Then came home and jumped on the treadmill to make sure I spent a good 20 minutes "in the zone". It was only AFTER I walked Oscar that my friend Mary told me about all the recent javelina attacks and how people walking dogs had been attacked and their dogs had been hurt and the javelinas were seemingly fearless! YIKES! I quickly made a mental note to my self that Oscar will NOT be getting those walks for a while now until javelina mating season is over!!! On Saturday afternoon, both Max and Clara had friends over to play for the afternoon. Then Clara and I met my friend Gillian and her two girls and we had a girls night out at Mi Nidito! YUM! It was delicious, as always and such a good time! Then we all came home and collapsed into bed, exhausted (and with one of those pesky little headaches!) I decided not to try to herd all the kids into church by myself and spent the morning instead "in the zone" on the treadmill. Can I just say...the "ZONE" sucks! I mean it is totally not fun working out there for 20 minutes. Today I stayed there for 30. And the last 10 minutes I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. (That's a good thing, I understand. You really want to push for that "about to vomit" feeling. Apparently that's the real "sweet spot".) I was SO ready to quit! As I got to the end I caught myself thinking that I really could stop in just 5 minutes if I wanted to....because I only have to be in the zone for 20 minutes. Then I caught myself thinking back that I am NOT a quitter and that NO WAY was I going to stop in 5 minutes, that I was in for the full 10. At that point I made a NOTE TO SELF...something along the lines of "I hate you". Self quickly answered back "Amen sister. You sure do! That's why we are even IN the zone in the FIRST place!" Hmmmm? Self had a point. I hate it when that happens. Still...I hated every second of it, but made it the full 10 minutes to round out a nice 30 minutes in the zone. THAT was seriously tough! But when it was all said and done, I felt a bit better for all of my efforts. After that, the boys did a little slave labor around the house in order to earn some precious few minutes of game time on the stupid new XBox 360 they purchased. Completely against any and ALL of my objections. I won't even go into that whole nightmare here. It still makes me too mad and it's not good to be that mad at them without the possibility of Chris coming home to save them. So I will stay away from that for now. But believe me when I tell you it is NOT a pretty story. Once the house was sparkling clean and shiny, they did indeed have a closely monitored hour of gaming. And then it was OFF to Costco! Oh the joy of it! Not really. My kids hate having to go and it's no walk in the park for me either! But these things simply have to be done and now, tonight, DONE it is. We are ready now for lunches and whatever else life brings our way this next week. I think. We are on full accident precautions, as something obnoxious always seems to happen when Chris is out of town! Knowing that he is totally unreachable for days on end really kind of sets the stage for something extra spectacular. It is my goal to keep us all healthy, free of gaping, stitch requiring wounds, head injuries and all other manner of evil yuckies until Chris' return next week! Wish us luck!

Peer Review

2008-09-14T08:11:00.001-07:00

Okay, so here recently I have started occasionally submitting some of my nature photos to the Arizona Daily Star reader's gallery. If you have never checked it out, there is some phenomenal photography there to be seen. Awesome really. There's a fair amount of just snap shot stuff...but also some really stunning stuff. Anyway. I was just looking at my gallery and a whole bunch of my photos have received awesome comments from others. And I just think that's so exciting! The dragonflies I posted last night already have two comments. And now I also know that this kind of dragonfly is called a Flame Skimmer. It's just a fun way to see what people think about your stuff. In a fairly anonymous kind of way! And it's educational too! What's just too funny is that one of my photos was published in the paper a while back. Only...it wasn't one of my stunning nature photos that made the morning print. It was a picture of Oscar yanking on our dog, Casey's tail! Go figure! Maybe someday, something a little more naturistic will be print worthy! But at least for now, I just have to settle for having been printed! Silly as it was!

Chasing Dragons

2008-09-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well...dragonflies anyway! I have become a bug stalker. For whatever strange reason, I keep finding them to be absolutely fascinating. The end of this summer has been rich in bugs and I have spent more than a fair amount of time chasing them! I have recently been treated to tarantulas, all sorts and sizes of butterflies, some really huge wicked looking black bug, and now today...dragonflies. I have watched this dragonfly dude on more than one occasion, but every time I grab my camera, he takes off. Camera shy this one. Today, the kids were all out swimming in the pool and I was sitting there with them working through my bible study as they splashed and played. I looked up and there, across the pool was my ever elusive dragonfly dude perched on the very tip of the agave plant beside the pool. I watched him for quite a while and for quite a while he just sat there. If for any reason he did get scared away, he always seemed to return very quickly to that same post. Finally, I decided I just HAD to try to snap his picture. And so I grabbed my camera and began, yet another bug stalking event. I was able to creep up beautifully close to him...at which point he flew away. Of course. But in just the shortest of times he came right back to his post and just perched there so beautifully for me on the end of the agave spike. Well, needless to say I was overjoyed. I took his picture and took his picture and took his picture and he was just so cooperative. What a blast it was. And I am thrilled with the images. Just thrilled. This was definitely the highlight of my day! If you click on these images, it should bring a large and up close version for you. You can see every tiny hair on this guy. VERY cool!

Welcome Back!

2008-09-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...it's so good to be home. Well...not really. I came home to a dirty house, PILES of laundry, a dead fish, an empty fridge and kids with attitudes. I was REALLY missing my sister's little cabin in the woods this morning! And so today I began the process of setting it all back to "normal". Or whatever normal happens to be for this crazy family of mine! The morning started off with a BANG! Getting lunches made and progress reports signed and all sorts of other small details. In the midst of it all, Clara knocks over a whole cup of coffee. Mental note...add mopping the floor to the already long "to do" list. Then proceeds to have quite the attitude about it. That shortly morphs into complaints about and talk about quitting her cheerleading/tumbling class I just paid a fortune for her to do. We have been having THIS particular discussion for a month now and when I voiced my opinion that maybe this activity should maybe wait for a year or so she went NUTS! Crying, begging, pleading to let her do it. And so I relented and wrote out the check, signed the recital contract and committed to pay for her lessons through May. And of course...exactly ONE day after those forms are turned in she decides she doesn't REALLY want to do it after all. Welcome to the land of tough crap, Baby! Because now she is all in and there is NO turning back. She may not be the best tumbler and she may not grasp all the ins and outs of cheering. But she WILL understand the meaning of the word "commitment" and she will know what it is like to see something through to the very bitter end before it's all said and done. And so...coming home was not really pleasant. I SO treasured the peace I had the past weekend. The nights sitting in the gazebo at NIkki's house, listening to the frogs and crickets with a glass of wine in my hands. I loved the low key feel to the weekend. None of the rush and run that seems to be a constant in our household. I am treasuring my sisters even more than ever today as I go back and face my reality. I am so grateful that we have managed two get togethers now in two years. Nikki was very tearful that it would be another year before we get to do this again. But I am so thankful that we even get to attempt it each year. What a wonderful tradition we started between us! I am already looking forward to next year and planning out our next visit in my head. But in the meantime...there is reality to deal with. Guitar lessons and ballet, art lessons and mountain biking clubs, cheerleading and tumbling and then of course...homework, homework, homework. Life is so busy right now. I am so thankful that I have two wonderful sisters and the fantastic memories of our weekends together that I can draw on to bolster me through my reality! Speaking of reality...back to it!

My Favorites from the Weekend

2008-09-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a magical and fun weekend at my sister's house. While I was there I got to take a gazillion pictures of her two precious little boys. They are WILDLY adorable and oh, so beautiful! What a treat for my camera! WHAT A TREAT! Two adorable boys, amazing scenery and new and interesting places everywhere I turned! These are my favorites from the weekend! Enjoy!

Mr. Frog! I thought it was rather brave of me to get this up close and personal with him! Ribbitt!

Just two brothers trying to catch some action down at the fishin hole!

Nate! This one looks exactly like my little sister! SUCH a charmer!

Look out! He's a 4-wheelin dude!

Brotherly Love!

Running away from home!

Drew...such a sweetheart! And SO smart too! What can I say? I'm a softie for the brainy type!

Sister's Weekend

2008-09-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

The little guest cabin where the sisters stayed! Nikki's house is a MUCH bigger version of this little charmer!

Well...it FINALLY happened! We got to have our sister's weekend! HOORAY! What a bliss filled and totally fun weekend it was! We all met up at my little sister's house this time. She lives in a precious little log cabin in the woods. So rustic and scenic and breathtakingly beautiful! Every inch of it screams home and comfort and warmth and welcome. It was such fun to just be there and be together as sisters for a few days! Such a rare treat for us! We spent our nights sipping wine in her gazebo, listening to the crickets talk to the bullfrogs, then snuggling in cushy feather beds. We spent our days poking around little antique stores and eating yummy lunches at sidewalk cafes. We walked in the woods and marveled at the beauty around us. We debated whether or not Donna and I could really be "country" girls. We decided by the time we left that it was so very beautiful, but might be a bit labor intensive for us! We ate chocolate croissants and had fondue dinners. We debated the finer points of cilantro and child raising. but most of all we just treasured being there together and enjoying being in one another's company every second that we could be. It was so hard to say goodbye. Before I was even out of the car I was planning the next great sister's weekend out in my mind! Such great fun! How blessed am I to have such wonderful sisters in my life!

Sisters!

Well...I'm Off!

2008-09-05T10:01:00.001-07:00

Okay, I just checked reservations once again and it looks like all things are go. And so...I am going to head out of here! Hopefully Hannah will behave herself until I am on the ground in Charlotte tonight! I don't relish the idea of being stuck in Minneapolis one little bit! And so...ta ta for now! Back soon!

Head Spinning

2008-09-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

Well...it's the night before takeoff. And of course, this has been THE craziest day ever. TONS and tons to do. My car was ready to be picked up today (of course!) and it was all the way down by Tucson Mall. And when I got there it took FOREVER for them to bring it around to me. By the time they did get the keys back into my hands, I had to abort errands schedule A and instead, run with schedule B. This involved making a lightning fast trip into Target and a quick tank of gas before charging into my 11:30 a.m. hair appointment EXACTLY, to the minute, on time. Two hours later I walked out gorgeous. Or at least not dull and lack luster like when I first walked in. Of COURSE, today had to be the day that I was due for the intensive beauty overhaul! Couldn't have been a quickie in and out day! From there it was time to spring poor Oscar from the kennel! About the moment I thought I could get a few more things packed and gather my thoughts, the phone rang and it was Clara's doctor. Apparently the school needed another form stating that she does indeed have a dairy allergy. And they had the form ready for me...and so I took off flying to grab it because there was EXACTLY enough time to grab the note and get to school to pick up the kids. I picked up Ben and Clara and quickly calculated as I walked in the door (for the third time so far) that I had roughly an hour and 15 minutes to help Clara get her homework packet finished, give her a snack, do her reading time and get her dressed and ready for cheer and tumble. And then, life happened, as it so often will....and Max called and really, REALLY needed his mountain bike at school so that they didn't have to be so doubled up and sharing since they were so short on bikes. And so I threw Clara and her reading materials in the car and hoisted Max's bike into the back of the Explorer (leaving some very snazzy tread marks straight across my thigh no less!) and took off for Coronado. I dropped off the bike and rushed back home. NOW I had roughly 10 minutes to get Clara dressed and ready for cheer and tumble. I changed her in a hurry and we took off at a dead run for class. We made it almost on time too. No sooner did I drop her off, when I had to return to Coronado to pick up Max. I dropped him off at the house and just kept right on going straight back over to Clara's class where I could observe what was left. By the time we got home it was 7:25 and I was SO tired. I ate a quick peanut butter sandwich, gave Clara a bath, tucked her in, and began the process of trying to get myself organized for tomorrow. At this point in the evening I have FINALLY looked up my itenerary, printed off my boarding passes, thrown some clothes into the suitcase (not sure how much of it actually matches anything!) and am now sitting here with my head spinning...trying to think about all the things I might have forgotten. I have a typed sheet of directions for both Chris and Jackie complete with times, clothes required, mode of transportation, etc. I have notes to teachers about going home arrangements written and I have forms and tuition for dance next week tucked into ballet bags. My camera is all packed up. And I think that I am too tired to try and think of anymore tonight! Luckily, my flight is not too early tomorrow, so once they all leave, I SHOULD have a few minutes of quiet time to just process my thoughts! We will see!

Hurricane Hannah is still messing around there. I am finding her projected path to be a bit less favorable for my landing time tomorrow night than it was earlier today. I'm not too stressed since it has changed so many times these past few days. I WILL be checking first thing tomorrow morning though! That's for sure! Hopefully things will go off without a hitch! Here's hoping!

As the Wind Blows

2008-09-03T07:03:00.000-07:00

Well, there has been a definite shift in Hannah's Path. It's still on course for my sister' house...but the track is bringing it in MUCH lower...like the very tip of Florida, instead of north Florida. So that's at least improvement! I have a state's worth of buffer zone...for now. There is talk of it strengthening. I am thinking...that on this Wednesday Morning, there is still further time for it to shift even MORE south and just duck UNDER Florida and head on up into the Gulf. Now, the gulf coast folks won't be a bit excited about that I am sure. But I REALLY, really, really want to have my sister's weekend this weekend. And if that's the only way for that to happen...then I have to just throw that gulf coast out there as bait! And so....PRAY ON!

Yeah...About That Zone

2008-09-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

So can I just say that 5 hours after my workout in "the zone" my butt is just screaming in protest. My hips are getting stiff and sore and I can't even imagine what my backside is going to feel like tomorrow when I wake up if it's already hurting this much after just 5 hours! That workout was MAJORLY intense today. Thank God it was as short as it was. I'm supposed to build up beyond 20 minutes to 30 or even 40. I have new respect and admiration for Oprah! That's all I have to say about that right now. Oh, my butt!

The Zone

2008-09-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

So I have been re-reading Oprah Winfrey's book Make the Connection. I bought it a LOOOONNNNG time ago at the dollar store in Florida and thoroughly enjoyed it. (The treasures one can find at the dollar store!) I recently picked it up again after I was out of things to read around the house and started working my way through all of the chapters and information again. I have to say that I really, really like this book. And timing wise, it has found it's way into my life again at the PERFECT time! My workouts have been stalled out and I have slowly over the course of this year watched my scale inch up and inch up and inch up....and you know the saying...give her an inch and she'll take a mile? Well my butt and gut are approaching the mile wide zone these days. And despite longer runs and more classes at the gym, it doesn't seem to be moving anything at all for me. And so I have been reading these pages with a fresh new outlook and it makes more sense to me right now as I approach the ripe old age of 37 here in two weeks than it ever has before. One of the chapters in particular that never really clicked with me is TOTALLY clicking with me right now. It talks about exercising in "the zone". Basically, it says you can exercise all day long and while you might burn calories, if you aren't doing that exercise in "the zone" then you are not doing a single thing to rev up your metabolism and help yourself. You are just burning calories. And that you can get TONS more benefit from working out for 20 minutes in the zone over working out 40 or 60 minutes not in the zone. The more I have thought about this and examined my life I think old Bob Greene just might have a real point there. I exercise all the time. And have now for years. This is not new. I am very faithful to my gym schedule. I run 5 to 6 miles at a time at least a couple of times a week. We eat reasonably. Not perfectly. But reasonably. I don't have a sweet tooth and I rarely crave things like potato chips. Despite all of this, I have watched the scale climb this year. And now half of my closet doesn't fit. My friend Wendy has always said 5 pounds is no biggie and nothing to complain about. But for me it's a whole size up in my clothes and it's a HUGE difference. It's the difference between bikini and no bikini. It's almost the difference between bikini and "Stay off the beach, lest someone try to shove the whale back in the water!" It has been very frustrating the past year watching all of this, knowing that I have not made any detrimental changes to my diet and have only stepped up my efforts to improve the situation...all to no avail. And so today, I had my first day of working "in the zone". I was BARELY able to hang on to it for the required 20 minutes...which according to ole Bob is a good thing, I ran 7.5 minute miles for 15 of the twenty minutes. Then I had to back it down to an 8 minute mile (which, incidentally, is the same pace that Oprah herself works out at). I did last the 20 minutes and I was SO tired when it was all over. I kept running it through my mind that Bob said that most people don't have to work as hard as Oprah does to boost her metabolism. Then immediately I just figured that me...being me...would be the exception to that rule and would have to work every bit as hard as Oprah does. So as soon as I could begin to catch my breath after that I ran up and down my stairs 10 times at top speed...just for good measure. Oscar was very supportive of this particular phase of my exercise routine and accompanied me up and down each and every pass! We were both tired at the end. We will see if the saying "less is more" really is true! I can say that I am definitely feeling that 30 minutes on the treadmill WAY more than I usually feel the full hour. And I am tired and my butt and hamstrings are just singing to me as I sit here typing this. Time will tell! We shall see.

On another note. I am going to see my sister on Friday for a second attempt at "Sister's Weekend". At least...that is the plan. The ticket has been purchased and all the appropriate people have been put into place to help chaufer the kids to and from their various destinations. But sometimes I just have to wonder if we really just aren't meant to have our sister's weekend there in the tar heel state! As of this morning, Charlotte is due to be slammed by Hurricane Hannah sometime between Friday and Saturday afternoon and my arrival is sceduled for SMACK in the middle of that! In addition to that, Hurricane Ike is hot on Hannah's trail. So this could end up being a very interesting weekend for sure! I gave my older sister a hard time earlier when we booked our flights because she didn't want to fly "steerage" (as she so sweetly described it....MOOOOOO" with me. Seems she's a bit on the spoiled side and likes the bigger seats, extra leg room and a hit of champagne before takeoff! Anyway. I tried guilting her into flying with me by telling her how sad she would be if my plane crashed and she knew that I spent those very last few seconds of my life all alone and scared on that plane with noone's hand to hold or be able to talk with. She said if my plane went down she'd just be even more glad she wasn't on it. So much for my guilt trip attempt! However....if my plane goes down in Hurricane Hannah, I think it will definitely always be in the back of her mind that she let me fly all alone when she COULD have come right along with me. ESPECIALLY since she ended up booking her own flight in STEERAGE anyway! So...it's a great time for all of you to lift up your prayers for a MAJOR shift in the winds so that Hurricane Hannah will blow HARD west and aim for...I don't know...Texas maybe...or Louisiana (sorry about that) or even Alabama would work well for me this this weekend. Chris tells me not to worry about it. That the worst possible thing that could happen is that I would spend three days sitting stuck in an airport somewhere. Nice. very nice. And so...back to the praying! Pray it up....Hannah neads a hard westward movement! Many thanks in advance!

Life in the Roberts House

2008-09-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it is already September 1st! WOW! The kids are entering their 4th full week of school. Time is zooming by! What's been going on in our house? Well...the usual chaos! I've been busy driving the mom taxi every which way but the way that is ON the way or convenient to get to! Clara has a ballet class on Mondays, Ben has an art class on Tuesdays, Max has a guitar class on Wednesdays, Clara has cheerleading and tumble classes on Thursdays and then when Friday rolls around all three kids want play dates! So we are keeping busy for sure. I am making it to the gym on an incredibly regular basis. I'm changing some things up exercise wise to see if I can change some things up body wise! We shall see if it works! No real high hopes...but it never hurts to try something new and improved!

Picture business is good. It's very, very good. I actually turned down my first photography opportunity today. I was approached about doing a family portrait day at the school as a PTO fundraiser. It sounded like a great idea and I kicked around a lot of ideas. But last night I couldn't sleep and so much was racing through my head pertaining to that event. I finally came to the conclusion that I didn't want to have to shoot family portraits in a 10 minutes time slot. I don't know that I can work that way. And let's face it...not all families are cooperative. Mom and Dad are usually quite well behaved...it's just all the little people that are the total wild cards! For the most part, kids are so fantastic. But sometimes you get those that are just bent on NOT having their pictures made. And lots of kids kind of freak out when you point a camera at them and they need some time to adjust and to kind of settle in and play for a bit before they feel comfortable. Having only 10 minutes would not allow for any comfort zone building. And there is no one single one pose fits all families pose. Every family is SO different. Some have one child, some have four or five. Some have even more than that! Some have bigger kids that can sit up and listen and follow directions. Some have newborns. The more I thought about it all, the bigger headache I was getting and I just decided that that would not be my style. To push families through rapid fire like that. I like to spend a little time with my families and get to know them a bit and get a feel for what works best with them. Ten minutes won't let me do that and I think it would not be a good idea to jeopardize the last two years of work and building a good, solid client base with a day of super rushed, lacking quality family fiasco pictures. And so I told Traci this morning that I didn't think it was a good fit for me. At one time I don't think I would have done that. I think I would have just had to jump at any opportunity to take pictures of any one or anything. But not so much now. Business has been really good and it's not even the busy season yet. Christmas is coming and I have great stuff ordered this year. Well...I love two out of the three things! I don't know if I love the third thing or not because I can't get my stubborn kids to cooperate AT ALL for a test drive session. I did, however, like the way this one worked out. It was the ONLY one I liked from the first trial. My kids were seriously grumpy and this session was done under great threat and with much talk of long lasting punishments. That said...I still like it. Would I LOVE to play with it some more? ABSOLUTELY!!! Just not with MY kids!
What else is going on? Chris is in Europe right now, so it's just me holding down the fort this week. He gets back on Wednesday night. This week is looking fairly quiet right now...especially considering Monday is already DONE and we hit the floor running with Tuesday's schedule instead! I SAY that it is looking quiet! I haven't actually LOOKED at the calendar at all! I need to change out my kitchen calendar and get everything updated for the month. But in my mind...I think it is quiet. There is no big outstanding appointment or anything that immediately comes to mind for this month. Other than that Chris will be leaving again shortly after he gets home from Europe to go to the Boundary Waters to fish for 10 days. Leaving me here. All alone. On my birthday. To ponder and reflect upon the fleeting days of my life and their meanings all alone. Where he won't even be able to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday because there is no cell phone reception there. But hey. No big deal. I'm tough. I'll handle it. In all fairness, it's his birthday too...so it's a nice birthday treat for him I suppose. He gets peace and solitude and fishing for 10 days. I get screaming kids, hectic schedules, no adult relief or breaks for 10 days. Hey wait a minute! I think I am getting the shaft on this one!

Anyway...now you are caught up on what's going on in La Casa de Roberts!

Chasing Butterflies - Take 2

2008-08-28T20:40:00.001-07:00

I chased them again today. It was actually a big, red dragon fly that caught my eye out the window this morning. He was huge and perched up high on my lady slipper plant. I thought he looked so cool there and so I reached for my camera to see if I could snap his picture real quick. Mr. Dragonfly would not entertain that idea in the least. Not even one little bit. He flew off straight away before I even got the lens cap off! I was disappointed and stood there for a moment more to see if he would return. But he didn't. But just as I decided to head back in the house and get some work done, I spied this butterfly friend visiting my lantana bush right there beside me. I was excited as this big guy has been rather elusive for me here lately. I keep trying to catch him, and he seems to know it! We've had many a good chase here this past week. I really had given up on the idea and then...there he was! He was fairly cooperative and I did get a few snaps that I can live with. They aren't perfect...but I still thought that they were pretty neat. Butterflies have really, really long noses! Or tongues...can't remember which it is...but it shows up really clearly and really cool in some of the pictures. Neat creatures, butterflies are. So fragile and swift...so beautiful and light. One of God's finer designs I think!

Score One for Crazy Mommy!

2008-08-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I just got the most fantastic news from my Clara! Apparently, after hand shaking now, the whole class has to sanitize their hands! I asked Clara what happened....and she said that her teacher said that "Clara's mommy thinks we should use the hand gel after we shake hands!" So now the whole class knows it's Clara's neurotic mom who insisted on this new rule and regimen. But I am OKAY with that! One day they will thank me and their mothers will thank me for all the germs that will no longer be shared between them, for the snot that will no longer be swapped and for the extra shot of germ killing protection that will be at the very least, a temporary germ deterrent. I am overjoyed to get this news! And I know that I will sleep better tonight as a result. It's one small step for Mommy...one giant leap for germ warfare! I feel it is a real moment of triumph! The teacher did not call me or respond to my e-mail OR send any kind of note of response home. It's that "crazy mother" flag that has been raised I am sure! But as long as my baby girl's hands are clean and free of other children's body fluids and other exciting things...I am SO fine with that new designation! Just call me C-Mama! (C for CRAZY!!!!!!). And on that note....C-Mama is signing off for now!

Neurotic Mom Speaks Out

2008-08-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Okay...so I simply could NOT take it any longer. The whole hand shaking thing in Clara's class. DRIVING ME NUTS!!! Yesterday, in Clara's bag was the class newsletter. Under the "Powerful Performances" section was this note:

If you visit our class in the morning you would see children greeting each other with a handshake
and saying good morning to their friends. This is part of a responsive classroom approach that I
have introduced to the children. We are learning to be listeners why others talk. The children are
learning about good character traits and how to be tolerant of others diversities.

UUGGGGHHH!!!!!!! So the hand shaking thing. I just want it to stop. Really. Deep down, I don't even want to work with it, I just don't want it to happen. PERIOD. However....life throws us things and we don't always get to have it the way we want it. And so...I realize that she will shake hands. But I absolutely 100% have GOT to know that my baby girl can go and wash her hands when it is all said and done. Nothing against all the other kids. I know that they are precious. And sweet and lovely and come from fine and wonderful, loving, clean homes. But I also know that right now, about 75% of her classmates have rivers of snot pouring out of their precious, sweet noses and a large amount of that snot is undoubtedly being swept away on the backs of the precious little hands. And I just don't think they should be snot swapping. Simple as that. Paranoid...yes. Over reacting...I'm sure. Neurotic control freak here?...ABSOLUTELY! But I am more than willing to admit it and air it out. And so I did today. I e-mailed the teacher and told her that I was simply not comfortable with the whole hand shaking ordeal and why. And that if that was going to be the practice, what I needed to see happening on the hand washing end. I went so far as to tell her that I didn't just want Clara's hands washed, but ALL of their hands washed. I mean...Clara having clean hands would be great...yes! But it doesn't accomplish much when the other 21 kids still have the great snot swap going on and are touching everything in the classroom that Clara also has to touch. (Geez! Listen to me. Sounds like I want my girl in a plastic bubble!....Honestly...if it were an option...and I could put her in a clear, protective, clean air, "you can be there but not have THERE be on her" bubble....well I think I would go for it!) As of yet, I have not gotten a response from the teacher. She is probably sitting there at her desk just a shaking that head of hers and saying things like "There's one totally psychotic and neurotic mom in every bunch!" She's probably put a big flag by my name and made a mental note to avoid all phone calls from me! Hopefully it won't reflect badly on Clara. She's such a sweet and bright and lovely child. Not so much though when she's sick! And so...it had to be done. I could not sleep another night knowing I let this situation go without speaking my mind.

Besides that nagging little handshaking problem, the newsletter was chock full of typos! A pet peeve of mine for sure! The paragraph I typed above is exactly as it was typed in the newsletter. It SHOULD say...

If you VISITED our class in the morning, you would see children greeting each other with a handshake and
saying good morning to their friends. This is part of a responsive classroom approach that I have introduced
to the children. We are learning to be listeners WHILE others talk. The children are learning about good character traits and
how to be tolerant of OTHER'S diversities.

I happen to have a very low tolerance for typos and poor grammar. Especially from those who are charged with teaching such important lessons to my wee ones! There are many more in the newsletter. The part where the students were quoted was just slaughtered with mistakes! YIKES!!!! Again...there's that neurotic streak that just keeps showing itself here lately. I might need some therapy!

Speaking of needing some therapy...I attended the parent's orientation night last night for Max. Armed with a copy of his schedule, I navigated my way through all of his classes, meeting each of his teachers and hearing their expectations for the school year. I could see why he loves his science, math, and social studies teachers. His writing teacher is..............hmmm. Little? Young? As a man, wears more jewelry than I do. He looks about 16. He says he shaves...but I wondered if his shaving was kind of like little girls who insist on wearing those training bras, despite the fact that there is a very real absence of anything to train? Maybe he shaves in hopes that one day there might be something there TO shave? He seems nice enough. I have not collected enough information yet to really have an opinion. His guitar teacher was....interesting. His reading teacher...oddly nervous and I thought a bit boring. Time will tell for sure. She certainly started out with a book they all seem to hate and loathe. I nearly had a heart attack when the writing teacher told me they would be writing a 10,000 word, 40 page novel. Oh dear God...please no! I knew it would come one day. I am just horrified that that time is here upon us. Getting him to write the really short one page papers is an ordeal that requires the patience of Job and constant threats and standing over him. 10,000 words? TEN THOUSAND???????? And he only has 30 days in which to do it! November is the month you should all pray and fast for me. Because I imagine that is sure to be the longest and darkest month of my mothering life to date! My next heart attack of the evening came when the science teacher was pointing out all of the mini research papers that had come in and are due...incidentally...tomorrow. When I asked Max about it? He hasn't even started it. GRRRRRRRRR. That child and I...we are two VERY, very different people. I know of no other way to put it. POLAR OPPOSITES he and I! He is the one who always leaves me just bewildered and frustrated and aggravated and wondering how in the world, this beautiful boy with the gorgeous gray/green eyes and more intelligence than you can begin to fathom...can possibly be so horribly disorganized and distracted and so terribly off task all the time?! Despite showing him over and over and OVER and OVER again how to complete the simplest of tasks...he just doesn't get it. But he does. He just doesn't seem to execute it. Ever. Sometimes I think I would just love to know exactly what is going on in that little head of his. What is it that makes him pace back and forth so when he talks to you and is excited? What is it that gets his thought processes so off task? How is that he can absorb difficult mathematical concepts instantly and effortlessly, yet cannot remember to put on his deodorant each day? Mostly, I wonder what in the world God is trying to teach ME by giving me this young man? There must be many great lessons in this adventure for sure. That, or God has a wild and evil sense of humor. Well....that is to ponder another day. A question that simply will not be solved quickly...or simply!

And so...there are my neurotic wanderings and rantings for the day! Time to treadmill bond! Till later!

Full House

2008-08-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well, all three of my kids are home sick today. Now...it's not as dire a situation as it might seem. Clara coughed her head off yesterday and did not sleep really well last night due to the coughing. Poor Ben's throat is still killing him and he can hardly talk. Max seems fine overall, but still keeps complaining that his stomach is hurting. And so...I made the executive mommy decision to keep the whole crew at home and resting in hopes that MAYBE, just maybe, a day of total rest will give their little bodies what they need to get on their feet and feel better and get on with the school year. I am feeling like they have been sick FOREVER! I know they haven't. But it HAS been two weeks. Clara started her first round of not feeling well back before her birthday. LIke on August 14th to be exact. Then she seemed to feel better for all of 4 days before she came down with another new and improved cold-like illness. Ben has not felt well for 4 days now. And Max (the least likely one of my crew to ever be sick) has been complaining off and on for a few days of mild, but similar symptoms. All of this sickness has made for very crabby children and it is starting to wear on the mommy who is quite tired of hearing them complain and fuss! So hopefully today will be a turning point for them. They are not too, too sick. I see the cabin fever starting to show itself a bit. On sick days like this, there is no t.v., no computer, no electronics of any kind. Just their rooms and their books and crayons. Dollies for Clara and legos for Ben, the guitar for Max. And then there is always napping which I have reminded them of already twice this morning. They find staying at home under these circumstances to be quite boring. Which I think is good for them. They are supposed to be at school and after a boring day like this at home, school looks OH so much better the next day! And hopefully...they will go back tomorrow with quieter and less present coughs, with soothed throats and iron tummies! Nothing like a day of rest and chicken noodle soup to help that dream become a reality!

Then once they go back I just have to pray that they can fight off any new and improved germs that get hurled their way. There is a practice going on in Clara's class that is driving me insane. Apparently they are learning how to shake hands with one another in greeting. Not one to be a total party pooper...I told Clara that it was nice to shake hands...just be sure to use the hand sanitizer when she was finished. Then Clara told me they aren't allowed to use it except when they go lunch. Ooops...here comes the pooper! I have to say that this bit of information has literally kept me up at night. My first reaction when I learned of the hand shaking was "Oh no! No hand to hand contact! Hands to YOURSELF!!!" But I realize that her teacher is trying to teach them a skill...and while I totally and completely disagree that this is the age they need to learn it...I TRIED to get on board with it. But now that I know she has to shake those little dirty hands who have most likely been swiping away their own snot trails with those same little hands...and that she is not allowed to clean her own hands afterward...well, quite frankly, I am losing sleep over it. And during the daytime I am just turning it over and over again in my mind. And I have come to a place of great debate now. Do I call or e-mail this teacher and voice my concern? And in doing so am I setting her up for trouble with this teacher? I mean...to a point it all sounds a bit paranoid. "I would really prefer that MY child NOT shake hands, as it's a terribly germy business...but if she MUST shake hands, then I MUST insist that she have access to some soap immediately thereafter." Sounds like an overprotective and whiny, paranoid mom. Then again...after a LONG two weeks of constant illness and sore throats....I'm thinking it's time to put a stop to all of this. Ahh...the great dilemma! I will have to think on it some more.

For now, I need to go and bond with my treadmill since I could not make it into the gym today with all my sick charges at home! Perhaps some enlightening thought or solution will visit me there! Goodness knows there are enough other crazy thoughts whipping through my brain when I jump on that treadmill! We shall see!

The House of Grump!

2008-08-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Well...there is sickness....AGAIN in the Roberts house. Clara was miserable today, but made it through school. HOwever, when I picked her up she had a roaring headache and a low grade fever. She said she told the teacher twice her head was really hurting, but was told she would be just fine. Oh...she'll be fine all right. She'll be just fine at home with me tomorrow! The poor kid is coughing her head off. I'm sure her head was hurting after a full day of that. I have decided that teacher cannot be trusted to use good judgement in when to call the mommy or even when to send her to the nurse. And so...mommy is in charge now. Clara even felt bad enough this afternoon that she didn't even want to go to her dance class. And she usually loves to go to that! So there's that. Ben didn't even feel well enough to go to school. His sore throat is really, really fired up and he can hardly talk. He spent a very quiet day laying around and resting. Tons of snot coming from that boy! Not sure what his return status will be tomorrow as far as school goes. Chris came home from work today not feeling well. He was in bed asleep by the time I got back home this afternoon with Clara. Lots of misery and lots of grumpiness!

Before all the sickies came to roost, I did manage to squeeze in a trip to the gym this morning. Today I did the RPM class, which is a spinning class, again. I am trying it out here to see if I can develop a tolerance for it. I did it on Friday also and I have to tell you that my butt bones are still screaming in protest. My muscles are all fine. But my bones ain't a bit happy. I jumped back in the saddle again today, equipped with my beloved heart rate monitor (cue the music of doom!). I wanted to see just how many calories all that butt misery was worth! The verdict? NOT MANY! I burned only a whopping 380 calories in that class. My heart rate refused to go above 164 beats a minute. Despite the fact that I was sweating an ocean and was nauseas with exertion. Well...that made ME grumpy! I will have to now compare that to step class next Monday and see which class has the higher yield for me. I managed to make up the calorie burn and achieve a full 500 total with some weight lifting exercises after spin. Still. 380 calories kind of stinks! Oh well! Tomorrow is a new day...a new calorie total! Tomorrow is running day! That should be loads of fun!

Nothing else new going on. Lots of orders coming in right now that I need to get processed. Another busy week. Chris heads to Europe this weekend. It would be SO nice if everyone could just get well before he leaves. Know what I mean?! I am supposed to go to Spanish class tomorrow night...but I don't think I will go back. It's NOT a good idea to open up the conversational spanish class by telling everyone that they probably will NOT learn to speak much spanish in the class. Kind of kills the whole experience...know what I mean?

And so...now you know what's going on in the Casa de Roberts!

Chasing Butterflies

2008-08-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today my family was sick. Well...three of the five of us are fighting a cold. Sore throats, congestion, coughing. The usual yucky cold stuff! So we didn't go to church or anywhere. We just hung out around the house. I spent a great part of the day laying in the bed reading and resting. I cooked a huge pot of homemade from scratch chicken noodle soup. It has magical healing powers, so we should all be feeling top notch tomorrow! And I spent some of the day out in the front yard chasing butterflies. They seem to be wildly attracted to my neighbor's red and orange lantana bushes. There have been quite a variety of butterfly visitors out there over the past few days. And so I grabbed my camera and went out to try and capture the wildlife! This was one of my favorites from the day!

I am hoping that all of my crew is feeling better and is able to return to school tomorrow. I am done with sickness and ready to move on from this. This is the second round of yuckies for poor Clara. She got sick the end of the first week of school. Missed one day and was able to head back on Monday. Then the end of the second week she came down with this yucky head cold. She has been very, very miserable and more than a little short tempered and cranky. I can't blame her. I was more than a little bit miserable myself this morning.

We managed to accomplish much this weekend, despite everyone feeling poorly. We headed out to Pima Community College on Saturday morning so that I could register for a class and get a student ID. THIS because we bought a new mac laptop and part of the special they were running was that I could get the Photoshop CS3 (my DREAM software) for an unbelievable bargain price of just $300 instead of the $1200 it would cost me otherwise. The only hitch is that in order to install it I had to have proof that I was a student. And so...I am now a student! We went to register for a class....ANY class and get my photo student ID so that I could get my CS3 up and running. Tonight it IS up and running and I LOVE IT!!!! After my college registration adventure, we headed down to the Ford place to drop off Chris' truck. The power extendable folding mirrors weren't doing what they were supposed to do, so we dropped it off for some TLC and service! Then we went shopping for a new bedding set. Chris has decided ours was making him crazy and he didn't like the way it felt. So after 4 stops we finally found something we liked okay. Then we had lunch out. Then we headed to Costco to stock up on a few necessary items. After that, we settled in as a family and watched the movie Nim's Island. It was pretty good and I enjoyed it, as did Clara. We all slept quite well and I woke up to donuts and coffee this morning! Chocolate donuts to boot! What a special treat! I couldn't help but think of my friend Jenny who has donuts and coffee EVERY SATURDAY morning! I only had ONE donut...not six. But it was yummy and it was nice that my family thought of me! The rest of the day we pretty much just laid around and rested. Tonight, I think we are feeling better. I feel better I think. And hopefully tomorrow, we will all be as good as new!

Hanging Out in My Yard

2008-08-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the great treat of getting to photograph this little guy in our driveway. He was a bit camera shy...so I only got about six shots of him. Actually, the exterminator today told me that it was probably a her, and NOT a him! So it was a lady friend! I DEFINITELY would have liked more! But alas, it was not to be. I find these tarantula dudes to be SO facsinating! Yet, this is only the fourth one I have seen since moving to Tucson, nearly 4 years ago. And every time I try to take their picture something happens...like being camera shy or like my nosy neighbors trying to save me from the very thing I am trying to photograph. There's that! But I got this one. It will have to do.

Then today, right before I went to pick up my kiddos, I saw this gorgeous guy hanging out on the lantana out front. He was so pretty and big....but SO busy and would hardly sit still for a second! Anyway...that's what's been hanging out in my yard the past 24 hours! What's in your yard?

ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

2008-08-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

AHEM....I have an announcement to make. And NO! I am NOT pregnant and NO amazing honors or medals or awards have been bestowed upon me in the recent days. No. My announcement is even MORE profound than any of that news. And my announcement is.....TONIGHT I COOKED! That's right. I cooked dinner. FROM SCRATCH. And it was very, VERY fancyesque! (Okay...so I totally made up that word and my spell check SO totally hates it!). On the menu tonight? Well, that would be Smoky Shrimp and Parmesan Polenta Cakes. Are you dazzled? Well...you SHOULD be! It was a dazzling dinner with a fantastic and beautiful presentation. AND only 231 calories for two polenta cakes! Now...you really should be dazzled when I share with you that when I decided to cook this recipe...I honestly had NO idea what the heck polenta was or where in the world one would purchase it. My only hint was that it came in a 17 ounce tube. And so I ASSUMED it MUST be cold. But cold what? Well...that was the mystery. I set out for Safeway this afternoon, shopping list in hand with all of the necessary ingredients and I started in the produce section. No polenta. Next I hit the hot dog section (just in case!) and no polenta. From there I hit the natural foods and soy section. NO polenta. I did not find it with the chicken, red meats or fish sections either. Nor with the sour creams or yogurts or cheeses. I was starting to get worried. But then I hit the "specialty and gourmet" foods area there right by the deli area....and there it was. Sun Dried Tomato Polenta. It was that or Mushroom Polenta. And I HATE mushrooms. And so Sun Dried it was! I threw it in the cart and we were in business! I should add here that in addition to not knowing what the heck polenta was or what it was made from, I also have no idea if I or anyone else in my family would like it. But it looked pretty and it was in my Cooking Light magazine...and so...polenta it was going to be. Well, I cooked it all up and it was.....DELICIOUS!!! I mean...totally YUMMY! Score one for mommy! Hooray! The totally big kudos for this dish? It was way easy and super quick...even by my standards! This one we will definitely have again. What did the kiddos say? Well....Max didn't try it. He is running a pretty good fever tonight and is a bit nauseaus. He got a couple of immunizations yesterday and he has had a tough time with this set. So he stuck to plain old Ramen Noodles...not that he would really have tried this anyway! And Ben tried it. Loved the shrimp...but told me the bread stuff (aka Polenta) was just disgusting. Clara wasn't here tonight because she is with her friend Sophia again. Chris and I thought it was outstanding. This will DEFINITELY be fixed again in our house! And so...that's my announcement of the day! Aren't you so impressed?! Here's a picture of the culinary creation!

Back in the Swing of Things

2008-08-19T17:10:00.001-07:00

Well...no doubt about it! School is BACK in session and life is CRAZY! I am exhausted beyond belief. Totally wiped out! I was SO in bed and snoring by 8;30 last night! YIKES! It seems I am living in the car again. That always seems to happen this time of year. This morning I got up really early (mostly because I was asleep so darned early last night!) and so I was on my treadmill before 6 a.m. and got in a nice 5 mile run this morning. Then I had to shower, make lunches and get all of my little ones out the door. I dropped Ben and Clara off and then came home instead of going on to the gym like i usually do. My back was killing me for some reason and so I spent a fair amount of time trying to get that straightened out and stretched a bit. And after a little while I did feel better. Then there was laundry to tackle and work to do, a house to straighten up, dishes to be dealt with and just a ton of stuff laying around all out of place. I got all of that under control (though you would never know that it was neat now that the kids came home!) and I had to go and sign Maxwell out of school early because he had an appointment for a physical today. Well, a good report and two shots later he was all clear to leave and so we went to Keva Juice (that's the standard treat for shot days!) and then we had to pick up Clara from Jackie's since she had gotten Clara and Ben for me from their school. I dropped Max and Clara off at the house and was home a whole almost 30 minutes, and then I had to go and pick up Ben from his art class. I got him all picked up and was again, home almost a whole 30 minutes before Ben's friend called and asked him to come over and play. SOOOOOO, back in the car again and I dropped him off. I now get to be home for about an hour and then I am heading to our church tonight for a conversational spanish class. I am having some pretty serious doubts about being able to hang with that class with so much going on. I am so tired I don't know if I am coming or going sometimes. I nearly fell asleep last night in the middle of Ben's 5th grade orientation. Tomorrow promises to be equally as busy!

On other notes...the picture business has been quite good here lately. Lots of appointments and lots of good stuff being turned out. I am still trying to work through this baby lighting thing. I keep thinking I've got it...and then the smallest change seems to just totally screw me up. I did a family of 5 the other day with a two week old baby. And it just was OFF the whole time. Part of it was that mom wanted the pics done...however, the REST of the family was VERY ANTI pictures. Apparently, just before baby was born they had had a photographer come to the house and do maternity family pics before their family grew. And apparently it was a LONG session at about 3 hours! WHEW! And you thought I took a lot of pictures!!!! Anyway...her crew had not forgotten that whole episode and they were less than excited about working with me. I have to say that that did NOTHING for my nerves or my comfort zone. Well, their pissy uncooperative attitudes did manage to turn out my poorest set of pictures with these lights yet. NO website material in that batch for sure! And I was left feeling VERY frustrated over the whole experience. AND SO...I'm just not sweating it anymore. I am moving on. That's easy to do today because TODAY the rest of my Christmas props arrived! HOORAY! So now I have new fun things to start playing with and practicing with for Christmas to see just how I want to shoot it! I will be recruiting a couple of families in here to play with positioning these props, etc. I am very excited. I just need a few days to catch my breath...and then I can get on that!

The kids seem to be adjusting back into the school schedule well. Maxwell is employing every single homework avoidance technique he can think of. So far today I have heard "I'm thirsty" and "I need some ibuprofen for my arm I got my shots in." and "I just needed to come down and get some gum." Hmmmm. It's always something with that kid of mine. Ben is LOVING the 5th grade (which is TOTALLY new for us!) and Clara is in her happy place amidst the excitement and fun of first grade. For the most part, it all seems to be going well and smooth. Now...we haven't done our parent conferences yet...and they don't really know our kids too well yet. So there is still plenty of time for things to go south! But for now...it looks good!

What else? Well...I am thinking that's about all we have time for right about now. I need to jump off of here and go and attempt to restore some order to this house....again! You got to love the pace of the school year!